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2 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 July August 2013 I am Lorrie Flem. My husband Randy and I have been blessed with eight wonderful children and one wonderful daughter-inlaw. Currently we have one married son two others working in their careers our oldest daughter in college and 4 (2 girls and 2 boys) in our homeschool. God is good In 1997 I began asking friends what their favorite homemaking magazine was. When I explained what I was looking for the response was invariably That sounds wonderful Why don t you do it This was not at all what I had in mind I just wanted to subscribe to a publication that would leave me feeling as if I d just had a good chat with a friend a visit that encouraged me to keep traveling down the road the Lord was leading me. I wanted to be challenged to continue striving to be the best wife mother homemaker homeschooler and friend I could be. Eventually the Lord opened doors and removed any barriers until there was no doubt in my mind that this was His idea. We are humbled to be a small part of it and we endeavor to make Eternal Encouragement that hoped-for magazine for all of us. We are honored to have this opportunity to chat. Won t you pause for a moment and visit with us Snuggling Under His Wings In This Issue 5 Common Parenting Mistakes - 18 Clutter Goliath - 43 Either We Win or We Win - 8 Helpmate or Doormat - 47 How to Determine Your Mindset - 22 How to Plan Your Closet Makeover - 26 I m a Hypocrite - 36 Summer Dinners in a Bowl - 10 Take as Long as You Need Lord - 39 Why Would God Let This Happen - 12 Write & Wrong - 29 Lorrie Copyright 2013 Eternal Encouragement Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. For customer service please visit our website You can also write us at Eternal Encouragement 18016 West Spring Lake Drive Renton WA 98058. by Mrs. Lorrie Flem For as long as I can remember my mama called me Doodle Bug. Now that she lives in her heavenly home I miss hearing her say that. Naming this column after her pet name for me warms my heart. I hope the words here warm yours. y quick way of describing our ministry to others is this We encourage women to trust and obey God stay home embrace obeying their husbands consistently and lovingly train their children and put their first fruits into their own homes. As I hear myself try to explain a mountain in 30 words or less the thing that most often resonates in my soul are the words put their first fruits into their own homes. What I mean by that is so much more than those few words can express. I am thinking of moms who are in charge of the Sunday school programs soccer leagues or other volunteer work doing their best to do it all well and yet being so out of time and stamina they feed their families fast food. I understand these moms too well. I ve been one too. Every single day I struggle to keep my balances weighted well. 4 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 I hope anyone who watches me can see that I practice what I preach. I do trust and desperately try to obey God. I do stay home obey Randy without a problem until he makes me mad . . . then I have to really begin practicing what I preach. I too work on consistency and putting my first efforts into all I have to do here in our home instead of elsewhere. I don t want to do a good job on the women s tea and not on other things. I don t want to expend physical emotional or creative energy on the things that don t matter as much to me as the things and people at home. In Psalm 101 2 3 David talks about leftovers when he says I will be careful to lead a blameless life. What does he mean by that word blameless What s a blameless life It means living your life so that you don t have anything to regret. That s a blameless life. The next verse goes on to David saying I will walk in my house with a blameless heart. Immediately afterward he lists off several other areas of his life where he wants to live righteously but he makes it clear that his number one goal is to live without blame for his family. I read this and hear him uttering the cry of my heart Lord help me be home in my heart and mind when I am with them. I want them to get my best. I don t want to be here with second best and regret not giving them my very best. When I m with them I want them to get blameless living from me not my Customerservice 5 leftovers. They are going to get my emotional and spiritual best. Do you feel the same way It s refreshing to me to believe you do agree with me because all too often it is not what I hear from the women to whom I try to describe our ministry. A few questions I ask myself might be good ones for you to consider too Do our friends sometimes get better treatment than our families do Do our husbands see us living out putting our best into our homes and families Will our children grow up remembering us at home with them or somewhere else What David says to me here is that when you want to live blamelessly you start in your own home. Save your listening ear your patience your smiles your creativity your helpfulness your unselfishness and your love for the ones who matter most. Everyone else should be getting the overflow of the respect love and patience that you re practicing at home. It s easy to be grumpy at home because we know this is where we are loved and our families won t stop loving us because of it. That s why we have to be careful to lead a blameless life and give our families our very best not the leftovers. 6 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 We love a good deal and bet you do too So let us give you a heads-up. Managing My Minutes is where you can get ALL the scheduling wisdom ALL the tips and tricks what to do when scheduling doesn t seem to work and more. Incredibly the whole shebang is only 30 more than getting just one set AND we ll throw in the set of three audios and their listening guides at no extra charge My home is incredibly disorganized right now. Anyway I did follow our new schedule yesterday morning. We have just implemented worship time with the kids and myself . . . This has been very good Thank you so much for your great advice and most of all thanks for a great product. I love Managing My Minutes and after using it just a month and a half our family is so much more peaceful . . . I am really trying to learn to take it one step at a time and Managing My Minutes has made all the difference in the world - Debbie Alabama by Mrs. Lorrie Flem Excerpt from True Treasures 2009 n June 6 1944 the Allied forces landed in Normandy along the coastline of France. It remains to this day the largest amphibious operation in history. It was a strategic assault geared towards liberating continental Europe from the claws of Nazi Germany. The U.S. Army forcefully landed on the beach under heavy German firepower the casualties were enormous. 8 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 One soldier looking around him reported to the military high command that an Allied defeat was inevitable. A reconnaissance aircraft flying high above the war zone scanned the entire horizon. He saw the massive Allies reinforcement in the sea the diminishing German military capabilities and the fragmented Nazi supply lines due to Allied air superiority. He smiled and reported to the high command that the Allies would carry the day. The U.S. soldier is like most of us. We tend to be so overwhelmed by adversity that we do not see the vastness of God s extravagance around us. We are so beclouded by the immediate and fading pain of our circumstances that we do not see the ultimate and growing gain of God s promises. But if we take our position in the heavenly places and see things from God s perspective our conclusion and response would be productive. Whatever our tribulation might be at this moment it is working out for our good in ways we do not know. We only need to look up to God for fresh insight by an unremitting study of the Bible. Our present challenge is not the end of the road the final outcome has been irrevocably predetermined by God in His word and this can NOT be changed. Our light and momentary afflictions are working for us an everlasting weight of glory that far exceeds them all II Corinthians 4 17. There is no other option either we win or we win Paid Advertisement by Mrs. Lorrie Flem ummer is the time of year that makes me happiest. I love how our pace slows down and we spend as much time as possible outside every single day that the sun shines. I am stingy all year long with our evenings because our whole family is nourished by these nights at home together. But in the summer I look ahead on the calendar and mark the days the weatherman predicts will be sunny because I am stingy with the sunny days too. I don t plan many evenings out. Instead I love to have company over. 10 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 I have a collection of my favorite summer recipes that feed us and our prolific amounts of company. Of course there are barbequed meals but my favorites are meat salads served with some bread and a bowl of fresh fruit. Simple fast and if you plan ahead they don t heat up the kitchen. My salad standbys are cob egg or chicken salad served in pepper halves or on fresh French bread broccoli salad filled with ham and or bacon and a sweet vinegar dressing pea salad and my favorites taco and pasta. My taco salad comes from a friend s mother s funeral dinner. It was the first time I ate taco salad that was deliciously different from the usual. I talked with many of the guests and found the lady who made it. I enjoyed visiting with her and it turned out she happily shared her tricks. Use a variety of greens with seasoned ground beef a few cans of different colors and sizes of beans grated cheese peppers tomatoes olives and cilantro and serve it on plates spread with refried beans (this is my own addition). The trick is that you make your own dressing by stirring taco sauce into mayonnaise until it is a nice peachy color about the color of Catalina dressing. Right before you serve it take a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos (no other brand will suffice ) and add these. The flavoring on the chips becomes the rest of the flavor in the salad. I usually make a gigantic bowl and only toss with the dressing and chips when it s time to eat. (Soggy chips are no good.) Customerservice 11 by Mrs. Issue 12 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Lorrie4Flem ast year after the school shooting I got a call from two friends. One has a personal relationship with Jesus and even though it struck particularly close to home because her husband is a school teacher she was operating in faith. My second friend who called asked me Why would God Let this happen Here is the letter I sent her after hanging up that day. I hope that it may help your own understanding and give you a way to explain it to your own children. I have thought about how to explain this to you. Here is my answer to why God allowed that crazy man with a gun to shoot and kill. Imagine there is an admiral who is in charge of a whole fleet of ships. He works on one of them and has many deckhands working for him. Most of Customerservice 13 them are good men some are exceptionally moral and honest some are more dishonest and immoral than the others but most of the men are good ordinary citizens. But one of these men is very evil. He is proud full of himself calculating and has crazy ideas about him ruling the world--a Hitler. So this Hitler goes and convinces some of the men to go in with him and they try to get rid of the admiral and put Hitler in charge. But the admiral was wise and strong enough to handle the mutiny and he banishes the Hitler and his men to another ship. Then he calls out to all the crew and tells them this Right now for reasons I cannot explain I am unable to completely abolish Hitler and his men for their terrible actions. So what I have done is give them their own ship. I care about that ship and the men on it very much so believe me when I say I will be keeping my eye on what goes on over there. I am sure Hitler will make a mess of things over there too and one day what he does will lead to his ultimate fall. At this time he has free and absolute reign over everything on his ship the men the equipment and the vessel itself. I can t divulge the details right now but know that there is a reason for this and one day you will understand all that has happened and why it had to be this way. 14 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 For now stay away from Hitler and his schemes. He is a tempter and a great salesman. He might try to get you to jump ship and join him with seemingly better rewards for your work. If you do join him one day you will reap the consequences you have earned. So stay on my ship and do your best as always. If you stay here I will be able to keep you safe and I will continue to protect you. This is an analogy of what role God has allowed Satan to have in our world today. Satan is in charge of our ship--earth. Of course God is still on His throne and reigns sovereign over all but for now He has allowed Satan to run the show. Before God made man Satan tried to take over things in heaven and God threw him down to earth along with the angels who had chosen to follow Satan. When God threw Satan out He gave him the ability to be in charge. Now just like our ship s admiral God didn t do this because He doesn t care about us but because it is not yet time for Him to wage the final battle. In the end God will defeat Satan once and for all--forever. But for reasons we can t understand God is allowing Satan to dig his own grave and God wants us His people to stick close to Him so He can keep us safe. God tells us very clearly that if we want His protection from Satan we are to put on His armor of faith salvation the Bible and prayer. When we stick close to Him Satan finds it impossible to get to us even with his schemes and wily ways. Customerservice 15 Are you protecting yourself and your loved ones by sticking close to God No our world today has pushed God out. Out of our lives out of our families out of our towns and cities and out of our schools and government. It s like we told the admiral of our ship that we could take care of things without him and locked him up in his cabin. That leaves us all exposed and vulnerable. So of course that is when Satan is going to strike. Why are we surprised So where is God Why did He let these children die He didn t. We did. God has acted. He has given up His life so that we can live and decide whether we will walk with Him or not. God is just as sad as we are over this senseless tragedy. He knows it never had to happen but He can t just step in like a superhero and stop all evil because we are not His puppets. We have been given free will the ability to choose whether we will stick close to the Admiral or go it alone. Yet even though God is able (He has the ability to control us) He doesn t go around directing each of us to do this and say that. He allows us to take control of our lives and our choices. 16 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 But since He can why doesn t He control us Because He wants us to come to Him willingly. Otherwise He is like a slave master and we are just lackeys. He wants us to choose which Admiral we will follow. The day will come when Satan and his people will get what they deserve. God has promised this. In the meantime we have to fight to bring our Admiral back into our lives our towns our schools our government. I believe if our country continues to push God out we allow more room for Satan. So there will be more anger hate rage violence and evil in our lives. When you separate church and state you are separating God from society and everyone is then open to the evil of Satan like we were on December 14 2012 when 28 people died. When you and Annie called to tell me about this horrible shooting I cried. You cried. And God cried too. Those little children are with God in heaven now. Not because God took them but because Satan did. Paid Advertisement Paid Advertisement Customerservice 17 by Mrs. Lorrie Flem et s face it children don t come with instruction booklets. What they do come with is years of experience from those who have done it before. Utilizing the advice and assistance of experienced professionals and other parents can help you avoid the most common parenting mistakes. No one wants to admit that they are a bad parent. Technically we are all just feeling our way through. It can only be chalked up to being a not-so18 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 good parent if we fail to use the resources available to us in order to keep our children on the right track. Below are five of the most common parenting mistakes that we all make. But don t worry we ll also talk about what can be done to fix them. 1. Do as I say not as I do. This one gets a lot of parents into trouble. You tell your arguing child not to smoke or that cursing is wrong but then they catch you at it. For a young child conflicting behaviors can be confusing. For a teenager it just gives them more ammunition to throw at you during an argument. The Solution Correct your behavior. Instead of defending your right to be contrary follow the example you want to set for your children. Apologize for cursing and take steps to quit smoking. Now children learn that adults make mistakes too but they also work to correct them. 2. Comparing one child to another. Children have enough pressure to find themselves without their parents adding fuel to the fire. Pointing out one child s good points or lack of them in comparison to a sibling increases Customerservice 19 sibling rivalry. It can drive a wedge between them and cause problems all around in the family. The Solution Kids need their parents to always be in their corner. Instead of comparing point out what makes each child unique. Give praise to a child for who they are in their own right. 3. Doing nothing. When a problem arises resist the urge to bury your head in the sand. Ignoring an attitude problem or the fact that your child is still bed wetting at seven years of age could mask a serious issue that needs to be resolved. The Solution Be proactive. Get to the bottom of the issue before it gets any worse. Talk to your child and set ground rules. Visit your pediatrician for a thorough check-up to make sure your child is fine. 4. Bribes. Every parent gives their child a piece of candy or lets them stay up late once in a while. The problem comes when you use bribes constantly to get them to follow the rules. Children will learn quickly that they can manipulate parents. The Solution Give privileges as a reward for good behavior instead of as a way to gain compliancy. 5. Great Expectations. Each child is different. Just because the textbooks say 20 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 they should be forming words at ten months doesn t mean your child is abnormal if they are behind that curve. Frustration leads to pushing your child too hard which can also lead to behavior and self-esteem issues. The Solution Have a doctor evaluate your child. If there is nothing physically or mentally wrong exercise patience and allow them to develop at their own pace. Parents aren t expected to be perfect but we can learn from our mistakes. by Mrs. Lorrie Flem ave you heard about the connection between your mindset and positive life outcomes If you want to change your mindset to a more positive one it s important to determine your current mindset. Here are some tips on how to do that and how to change your mindset if you want to. It s Not about Your Intelligence First it s important to get over the idea that this is about intelligence. It isn t. Determining your mindset is a matter of figuring out how you think and what your thought patterns are. It s about figuring out what makes you tick mentally and taking the proper steps to make changes to a more positive mindset. This isn t about how smart you are or what kind of mindset is right or wrong. It s about what works for you and helps you succeed in the long run. 22 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 Fixed Mindsets Do you have a fixed mindset People with a fixed mindset tend to go with the safer options and worry about failing. If you have a fixed mindset you may worry that others will think you re not smart. This keeps you from asking for help if you need it and you may find it hard to take constructive criticism. Growth Mindsets Those with growth mindsets tend to seek out challenges rather than staying where it s safe. Rather than fearing failure those with growth mindsets seek out opportunities to develop their minds and respond well to feedback and criticism. In this mindset there tends to be less of an inclination to fear what others think of you so you feel more comfortable asking for help. Do either of these mindsets describe you These are just two main ones there are certainly other types of mindsets that fall in or out of these main categories. But getting a handle on these two is a good first step toward determining your mindset. How to Change It If you have evaluated your mindset and have found it s not really helping you succeed then you can take some steps to change it. One helpful tactic is to internalize positive affirmations and to phrase your approach to challenges in the form of a question. Studies show that asking yourself if you can do something tends to produce better Customerservice 23 results than telling yourself you can do something. And positive affirmations change negative thoughts like I was never good at___ or I am just bad at ____ and turn them into positives like I am working on___. Be forgiving with yourself Many of those things you think you are not good at are simply ingrained negative beliefs. Determining your mindset can help you get a hold of these things and change them for the better. Like the rise of mp3s and the decline of music CDs digital magazines are here because they are BETTER than ever. Better quality. More interactive. Fantastic features. Easier to access . . . and the list goes on Make sure you don t miss a digital issue of Eternal Encouragement Magazine If you haven t already registered Customerservice click here for your free subscription. 25 by Mrs. Lorrie Flem ired of a cluttered closet Do you waste time each morning looking for clothing and accessories Do you forget that you have certain items simply because they re buried in your closet A closet makeover may be in order. Here s how to plan it successfully. Step 1 Empty Your Closet It sounds like a huge undertaking. However the only way to really determine what you need is to know what you have. That begins with emptying your 26 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 closet. It s also a great time to purge items you never use and put other items in storage. Consider first creating four piles keep sell donate and toss. Then sort your keep pile by purpose. For example you may have a pile of belts a pile of fitness clothing casual clothing and business attire. Step 2 Assess Your Needs Now that you know what you have you can start determining what you need. For example if you have belts and no place to put them you may want to add a belt rack to your closet. If you have an abundance of sweaters you may benefit by creating separate sweater boxes or shelving. If you like to hang everything up then you may want to add tiered racks to your closet so you have space to hang up everything. Step 3 Find the Solution There are so many beautiful storage solutions for closets. Unfortunately they re also extremely expensive. The good news is that simple solutions can still give you the closet you want and need. For example you can find shelving systems at your local hardware or home store. They cost significantly less than a custom closet solution. Envision your closet as an empty space. It s easy to take a look at it and see restrictions. You see a shelf. You see a closet rod. However when you eliminate the existing fixtures from your imagination it s easier to see the possibilities. Make the most of the space you have. Customerservice 27 List the possibilities. Instead of going with the first plan that comes to mind list all of the potential solutions. Then hit your closet with a tape measure and a notebook. Have fun with this process and you ll likely come up with some innovative solutions. Uniformity creates visual appeal. One of the reasons the custom closets look so wonderful is that they embrace uniform lines textures and colors. You can achieve the same visual appeal. Use the same color shelving storage boxes racks and rods. Use fixtures to create clean lines. Upgrading the storage materials also upgrades the look of your closet. For example fabric storage boxes are more visually appealing than plastic. Planning a closet makeover is the first step. The second step is implementing it. Make a list of the materials you need find the best price and have fun with your new closet. 28 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 by Kenneth Hodkinson L earning to read is not easy. Look at it this way the child is already able to communicate quite well and without ever having been taught. The ear is the primary organ receiving the signal and the medium is vibrations in the air. Learning to speak and hear to send and receive these aerial vibrations comes naturally. Customerservice 29 Then at a certain stage it becomes imperative for the child to learn a whole new way of communication. The medium is now ink marks on paper (or its digital equivalent) and the primary organ for receiving the signal is no longer the ear but the eye. Looked at in this way learning to read to successfully make the transition to a totally different medium is a feat worthy of the highest praise. Imagine you are called upon to learn yet a third way of communicating. This time the organ of choice is the skin particularly the sensitive fingertips. The medium is raised dots in groups of six. Learn to do this and you ll have learned Braille. Congratulations Acquiring these skills is not easy and those making the attempt are worthy of our fullest support. And that leads me to precept number one when teaching a young child anything be lavish with praise. It s not good just for children of course. We never outgrow our need for praise. Abraham Lincoln probably had a story to illustrate the point. Having praised praise and at the risk of contradicting myself let me offer you precept number two in educating a child of any age be demanding. When Paul Robeson AfricanAmerican singer actor and civil rights icon brought home a report card with a score of ninety-nine percent his father a stern old-fashioned preacher demanded to know why young Paul hadn t received one hundred percent. 30 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 Nobody gets one hundred percent Paul explained. His father s response was Then why do they have it It didn t mean that the father didn t love the son. It just meant that he had high expectations and indeed nobody demanded more of Paul Robeson in later years than he himself did. We can agree that learning to read is a complex process and a demanding one. It demands much of student and teacher which brings me to precept number three give it all you ve got (whatever it is). Although learning to read and write doesn t come as naturally as learning to speak or listen it s not impossible of course and the secret is glaringly obvious. To a home buyer the mantra is location location location. To someone learning to read (or acquire any other skill) the mantra is practice practice practice. The more times the young reader has to match a particular set of aerial vibrations with a particular set of marks on paper the more ingrained it will become. Repeated enough times the process becomes unconscious no thinking required. Remember the centipede Customerservice 31 Before picking the leg it will use From the hundred from which it can choose The centipede has to think fast And remember which leg it moved last. An advocate for a child learning to read usually a parent or teacher might ask the question Read yes. But read what If on entering the magic realm of books the first thing the young student learns is that the cat sat on the mat that is not a strong inducement to proceed. If on the other hand the student s first encounter with reading is a story then it s a wholly different well story. Everybody loves a story it s built into our nature. And that brings me to precept number four never be boring. To keep the child interested be interesting. As an advocate for the young reader you want a level playing field but that s denied to young readers who live in a world of large and powerful adults. The student fails to pay attention. That s the student s problem not the teacher s. Give a talk on bankruptcy laws in colonial America and I can guarantee that your average audience will fail to pay attention. We are told that to everything there is a season a time for every purpose 32 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 under heaven. If your purpose is teaching someone to read then timing is crucial. There is a window of opportunity and it is yours to discover. What are the signs How does the young student let you know that the time is right One indicator is the child picking up a book and turning the pages acting out the process of reading no matter that the book may be upside down. Another is the child requiring the teacher to point to each word while being read to. My youngest granddaughter Ashleen was just four when I noticed she was sending me these strong signals. This kid is ready to start reading I said but she s not yet in kindergarten. I decided not to wait and followed my own precepts in the matter. She did all the work I created the conditions and the environment that made it possible. In a matter of days not weeks Ashleen had become an avid reader and now in seventh grade she still is. This brings me to precept number five we re all different. Not every child cares about reading. With some the skill resides in the hands they may become skilled craftspeople illiterate or semi-literate but able to produce beautiful objects or beautiful music. Don t be judgmental. Allow each child to flourish in his or her own way. Customerservice 33 Books do furnish a room and ideas furnish a mind. Words are the hooks on which we hang ideas. The larger the vocabulary the more richly furnished is the mind. Precept number six build on what has gone before. Each new word encountered is an opportunity to explore to enlarge the mind and to understand the world a little better. This process once begun is neverending. Exercises help they should be entertaining even fun. Many vocabulary-building programs are devised by experts noted for their scholarship but not necessarily their creativity. Ask yourself before choosing a program are the materials interesting are there stories that hold the reader s attention Provide books in the home read aloud to children at every opportunity encourage them to memorize poems that have appeal. These enrich the cultural soil in which you plant the seed of learning and increase the odds of success in life. They may not make the child a wealthy person but they ll help make her or him an interesting one and a valuable member of the human race. Kenneth Hodkinson has educated millions of Americans in vocabulary development with the textbook series Wordly Wise. Used in over ten thousand schools counting among them the nation s most elite schools Wordly Wise is considered by many educators to be the gold-standard in vocabulary development. ( Kenneth is also the author of the award-winning learn-to-read resource The Reading Game. ( He regularly gives workshops on vocabulary development to teachers students and administrators. Kenneth has written several children s books for Simon and Schuster s Wanderer Books Division and created the Word Salad puzzles which appeared regularly in The Boston Globe. He has taught English in the United States Canada and in England. Wordly Wise and The Reading Game can both be purchased through 34 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 Customerservice 35 by Betsy Price hile I was the ladies ministry leader at our old church I was so excited to plan a retreat. It was one of the final things I did during my reign. I had asked one of our missionary wives to be the speaker. I knew she was going to do a great job. She is not one to hold anything back. When I asked her what she was going to share she mentioned several topics she was going to cover. As she listed each one I knew exactly which subject each woman needed to hear. Of course none of them caught my attention specifically especially when she mentioned hypocrisy. I keep it pretty real with people. Hypocrisy was the least of my worries. Until she started teaching on it. 36 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 She said that hypocrisy was anytime the way we live does not match up to what we know and believe. Look at Merriam-Webster s definition of hypocrite 1 a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion 2 a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. Even the dictionary agrees with her That would make all of us hypocrites including me Unfortunately it is true. For instance my family has been going through a lot of financial struggles due to unemployment. I know that God is sovereign and has promised to take care of our needs. Sometimes I still worry or get depressed about the situation. Worry is me acting in contradiction to my belief. I am a hypocrite. Or what about those times I know I am supposed to answer my child with only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4 29) Sometimes my responses are not gracious. The tone may not fit the occasion. What I say may criticize instead of build up. This is especially awkward after I have just reminded my child of the correct way to speak I am definitely not living up to what I know when I do this. I hope I am not too far off in assuming that we all have times of hypocrisy do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do moments. The thing is we know we are not supposed to be that way. Be doers of the word and not hearers only deceiving yourselves James 1 9. Boy I was deceived about how big a hypocrite I was Customerservice 37 Thankfully God does not leave us hypocrites. He slowly grows us more and more into being what we say we are believing. I think the first step is making us aware of being a hypocrite. You cannot fix what you do not know. But God does not leave us alone to fix it. For it is God who works in you both to will and to work for His good pleasure Philippians 2 13. I cannot forget it is a process. In fact I cling to that fact. Each day with God s help I should become less and less a hypocrite and more and more like Him. And we all with unveiled face beholding the glory of the Lord are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another II Corinthians 3 18. I am choosing to lessen my degree of hypocrisy one day at a time and increase my degree of glory the same Okay admit it. Are you a hypocrite like me Betsy Price has been married to her husband Mike for almost 25 years. She has her Bachelor s degree in education and has taught in the classroom. After many years of infertility God blessed Mike and Betsy with a beautiful daughter through adoption. Betsy now spends her time serving God and her family through homemaking and home educating. In addition to writing for Eternal Encouragement she also is part of Eternal Encouragement s review group The Gabby Moms. Visit her blog where she shares about homeschooling homemaking mothering wife-ing and anything else she finds interesting. 38 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 by Gail Biby s the saying goes Lord give me patience . . . right now But this is most assuredly not how one becomes patient. The journey to a patient soul is similar to LittleMuch-Afraid s journey to the High Places it is going to take time and troubles. Romans 12 12 commands us to Rejoice in hope be patient in tribulation be constant in prayer. So it is apparent that we are required to be patient. And to be so in tribulation no less. Aaaargh It is certainly easy enough to be patient when everything seems to be at work to make my life easy rich abundant and lacking in distress. But that is not where we learn this fruit of Customerservice 39 the Spirit. We learn patience when we need patience. And then there s this Love is patient and kind I Corinthians 13 4. I find it a bit disconcerting that Paul wrote that love is patient not that love learns patience or love develops patience. I can only assume then that when I am impatient I am not loving. If I am impatient with my husband I am unloving. When I show irritability because my schedule has been breached I am unloving. When I speak sharply or act with silent brooding behavior it is because I am not willing to operate on someone else s timetable and I do not love. I can express my impatience in many clever sometimes subtle ways. One of your Bible study gals shows up fifteen minutes late. Do you think she can t see your disapproval by that raised eyebrow And really do you think it will speed up the beginning class time if you tap your fingers or sigh deeply I need to be aware of these signs of impatience and irritation. They injure and wound others. They are selfish Paul in his letter to the church at Ephesus wrote I . . . urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called with all humility and gentleness with patience bearing with one another in love eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. I don t know if there is any significance to with patience being preceded by gentleness and followed by bearing with one another in love but I have 40 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 a sense that there is great significance. After all if I am walking in a gentle manner impatience is unlikely. If I am bearing with others in love I cannot be irritated and impatient. I am humbled when I think honestly of the many ways in which I have acted foolishly or been cleverly sinful yet our dear Lord Jesus continues to patiently school me on the journey to the High Places. He doesn t fold His arms across His chest and look at me with disdain and disappointment. No He patiently urges me toward greater obedience with His love encouraging me to love. I wonder if the order in which the fruit of the Spirit is listed in Galatians 5 22 highlights the sequence in which they are learned. Does love produce joy joy produce peace peace produce patience I haven t any divine insight on this but I think it may and if so then love is part of the means for learning to be patient. When I love someone I will be patient with them if I am experiencing trials as I love and follow Jesus I can be patient in them if I love my grandchildren I will show them the fruit of the Spirit if I love my husband I will have an obvious attitude of patience. It applies to every area of life. When I am reminded of the many ways in which my Savior has been patient Customerservice 41 with me I sometimes weep. Since before the foundation of the world He has known me as His own yet He patiently waited until I was sick to death of my evil life. Then He gently called me to Himself. Lovingly joyfully peacefully patiently. And He reminds me that The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness but is patient toward you not wishing that any should perish but that all should reach repentance II Peter 3 9. Maybe our saying ought to be Lord give me patience and take as long as You need in order to bring glory to Your Name Gail Biby is the publications editor for the North Dakota Home School Association having worked with parent educators for more than 22 years. She is actively involved in homeschooling her grandchildren serves on the advisory board for Lamplighter Publishing volunteers with Caring Hearts Jail Ministry publishes a monthly newsletter for her church sisters and is married to a prince of a man her husband Bill. Gail leads a modestly agrarian lifestyle in the beautiful Red River Valley of the North. She can be reached at billbiby 2013 All rights reserved by author. 42 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 by Pam Villa aul looked at Goliath much the same as we look at our clutter. I know that when I look at my clutter I tend to think That mess is too big it is going to conquer me I usually shut the door look the other way and hide from it. But in the cherished Bible story David doesn t take the quick way out like so many of us do when facing our giants. As a matter of fact in I Samuel 17 32 David says to Saul Let no one lose heart on account of this giant your servant will go and fight him. David had the right attitude. He would have made a great organizer I know that losing heart is how most of us feel when we look at our clutter. But David a man of God decided to take a conqueror s attitude and fight the giant He knew with the Lord s strength he could win. In the next verse Saul replies to David You are not able to go out and fight against this giant you are only a boy and he has been a fighting man since his youth Well in the same way many of us think that we are not 44 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 qualified enough to fight our clutter by organizing it. We never work on it because we feel that we need someone more trained to do it. Just the way that Saul believed that David was not qualified for his fight. But the truth is that you are qualified You are fully capable of winning the battle against your clutter. In the story of David and Goliath I noticed three simple tips that you can use in your own home while fighting your Goliath. Keep It Simple. David only took five river rocks with him to fight Goliath. He even took the armor off that Saul gave him to wear. Oftentimes those expensive and elaborate organizing systems can be no help at all in keeping your home in order. Stick to the simple clear and stackable bins when creating a system. Customerservice 45 Use The Lord s Strength. David was confident that the Lord would cause him to win. I believe that the Lord wants us all to win over things in our life that burden us. Knowing that it is His will for you to not be burdened anymore go into battle with confidence Don t Ignore It. David didn t ignore Goliath. If you ignore your clutter that bothers you it will only get worse. Face it head on. Once you get started taking it apart you ll realize that it s not such a strong force after all. Maybe you need to give yourself a pep talk to get started. After all that s what David did. He had to reassure Saul that when he was looking after the sheep he had to fight off the lion and the bear. This also gave him reason to believe he could tackle a giant. You may need to remind yourself of all the great projects that you have successfully mastered in your past. Have you ever given an amazing presentation at work Have you ever made a huge sale at work Have you ever raised five children Have you ever coordinated a big family event These are all activities where you won the battle So remind yourself that you have a little warrior in you and that you can conquer your clutter. As a Professional Organizer I also love teaching people how to organize for themselves I provide phone coaching to men and women nationwide. I give a lot of Godly encouragement and practical advice. Please email me to make an appointment at pam 46 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 by Felice Gerwitz I would dare to say that most women are very strong. We have to be strong. We give birth take care of little ones stay up at night when our bodies crave sleep deal with injuries and wipe away tears when our precious ones are hurt or disappointed. We are not delicate flowers. We don t have time. Proverbs 12 4 rightly claims A wife of noble character is her husband s crown but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. I believe all of Scripture is true. However I draw the line on interpretations from some with an agenda to sell Customerservice 47 books. A helpmate or helpmeet is one who is loving kind and supportive of her husband but not a doormat. A man of noble character will treat his wife as precious A husband loves and protects his wife to the best of his ability. As you ve read in my past articles a marriage should be self-giving on both sides without motive of What s in it for me or I m nice to my husband but get nothing in return. May I ask why would you expect to get anything in return I am a business owner an author on the forefront of online speaking events yet I have washed my husband s laundry for my entire married life without complaint. In fact I 48 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 cringe at the thought that he might want to do laundry ever I don t do laundry only to be a blessing in his life but because our jobs don t define who we are in our marriage or cause us to argue. They are just jobs. I m afraid that popular books become a cult following rather than following the one book that trumps all others The Bible. The Bible talks about strong women. These women were called by the Lord to serve Him in a mighty way. And these women did so because the Lord provided. Does God provide for your marriage How can you be your husband s soul mate the way the Scriptures describe For my marriage it begins with an attitude check--mine not his. I look at A. My motives. B. My heart. (Am I resentful ) C. Am I tired D. My health. E. My walk with the Lord. These five factors are pivotal to how I feel not only toward my husband but toward my children as well. If my motives (what s in it for me) as well as my heart (I ll do this job but will resent it) are not right I can expect to become annoyed. Additionally if I m tired it increases my feelings of being upset or resentful. If I feel that I am beginning to harbor a grudge I will go to the Lord and ask forgiveness first. If it is an issue my husband knows about I ll ask his forgiveness second. Is there a time for righteous anger Sure. Customerservice 49 However going to your husband and discussing this when you are rational works so much better than getting into an argument with each side trying to make a case. Do you consider yourself a doormat If so list the ways and then compare my five points above to your situation. If indeed your heart motive and health (physical and spiritual) are all intact and you are constantly upset then seek outside help. If however you are fine with your situation then rejoice The Lord has given you a servant s heart and that is okay. If we are filled to overflowing with the love of God we can t help but have an outpouring on those around us. God s love can t be contained It overflows to our spouse and our children to our relatives to our neighbors and to perfect strangers. When I am tired or down I look to the Bible for a refilling. For me finding the root cause of my anger or discontent with my spouse involves dealing with the root cause of the issue and miraculously nine times out of ten it solves the rest. For me and my house we will serve the Lord Joshua 24 15. I don t look at Nancy Jo or Sally Mae and their marriages. I look at Felice and Jeff and see what works for us. My husband does the lawn and has begun doing dishes. I can count on one hand how many diapers he changed when I was home with five children. Does that mean I m a doormat No. I m fine with the jobs he is willing to take on and those he feels I can handle better. My husband s workload is not equivalent to his love for me. My husband loves me the same before he did dishes as he did after. In every relationship it takes three with the Lord in the center filling us with His love This I know. 50 Eternal Encouragement Magazine July August 2013 Volume XIX Issue 4 State History from a Christian Perspective Hawaii FREE Visit our state history website home page scroll down to the Fifty States Under God section and download the entire Hawaii section free Georgie IV Publishing SAVE by purchasing all three Audrey Amaka storybooks for one low price Brent Vernon Deeper Roots A Helping Hand One Year Adventure Novel The Reading Game TriLight Health About the Author Lorrie Flem In her own words I am a somewhat psychotic mother of eight who wanted to be the ideal mom but was too busy raising my kids. Being Randy s rib for more than 25 years you might expect me to be mature responsible wise and dignified. I m not. But I adore my King love my husband and family and want to laugh along the way. We have five boys and three girls. The three big boys are all right-wing gun-lovin Carhart clad suburban hillbilly pizza-eating machines. Our three girls and daughter-in-law are Lucy-like shopaholics country music crazy Zumba lovers. The last two little monkeys are always-grinning boys who are Daddy s shadow and Mommy s delight. In 1998 Lorrie says she accidentally began publishing TEACH the award-winning magazine for homemakers. Today Lorrie is the author of way too many books and a speaker known for making you laugh with life-changing godly wisdom. She has a zany fun-filled heart and desires more than anything else to look more like Jesus and be used by the King in the lives of mothers speaking words of encouragement exhortation and offering how-tos and real-life help for moms. Don t forget to check out our other websites Are you interested in spreading the word of the great products that Lorrie Flem Eternal Encouragement Publisher has to offer If you ve answered YES CLICK HERE to become a Gabby Mom. If you are receiving this as an electronically-transmitted file it does not entitle you permission to give away copies. The file is not to be sent electronically to anyone else other than the purchaser. You have purchased one copy of this file and its use is limited to your own personal use.