This Digital Edition requires Flash 9.0.115 or above to activate some rich media components.

Please click the following link to download and install: Get Adobe Flash player
When you are finished installing, please return to this window and PRESS F5 to view this edition.

Description: HERLIFE Magazine is a vibrant full-color magazine that reaches your target market and the buying power of women.

THE BENEFITS OF GLUTEN-FREE DIETS THE BEST BUYS FOR OUTDOOR LIVING SPACES ORGANIC BEAUTY PRODUCTS HYPE OR TRUTH A PATH TO WELLNESS Dr. Kaylin Schack of Tracy Chiropractic staff & contacts Publisher and Editor-In-Chief Kimberly Mullen kimberly 209-224-8810 Beth Dostal beth For advertising information please call 209-224-8810 Kelly Moore kelly 209-200-1229 Vikki Sandor-Girolami vikki 209-629-5382 Editor Art Director Associate Art Directors Advertising Art Director Contributing Authors Marilyn Isaminger Kathryn Creel kathryn Paige Fisher Ashleigh Thomson Elana Bell elana Sharon Filomeo Baker Adriana Brogger Joseph R. Burlin M.D. Melody Bussey Lisa Taranto Butler Patty Cook Beth Dostal Hope E. Ferguson Stephanie Fox Rebecca Flansburg Doug Frost Dr. Lisa Hunt Marilyn Isaminger Kathleen Krueger Lindsay Laderoute Heather Noble Merritt Rethlake Tina V. Savas Kim Scarlata and Bre Meyer Briggs Photography Dario Leventini of f3 Studios Haskell Images Julie Nicole Photography Studio Mohsoh and PO Box 2674 Lodi CA 95241 For advertising information call (209) 224-8810 Fax (866) 665-4499 Subscriptions are available for 20 (for 12 issues). Please go to or mail a check made out to HERLIFE Magazine to the above address. Editorial Assistant Advertising Information Account Executives Contributing Photographers To contact HERLIFE Magazine Subscriptions HERLIFE Magazine of Central Valley is operated locally by Kimstry LLC an independently owned and operated franchisee of HERLIFE Magazine LLC. To reach national headquarters call 913-402-6994. 2014 by HERLIFE Magazine. All rights reserved. Although some parts of this publication may be reproduced and reprinted we require that prior permission be obtained in writing. HERLIFE Magazine is owned by Kimstry LLC and is a free publication distributed locally and is supported by our advertisers. It is available in selected specialty stores doctor and dental offices medical spas hair and nail salons tanning salons public libraries and numerous other high traffic locations. Please call for a location near you or if you would like copies placed at your business. We do not necessarily endorse the views expressed in the articles and advertisements nor are we responsible for the products and services advertised. We welcome your ideas articles and feedback. 8 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 9 HERLIFE CONTENTS features 18 74 26 30 12 14 Welcome From the Publisher Health Benefits of Gluten-Free Diets Integrative Medicine Sun Exposure and Skincare Spotlight The Grand Theatre Beauty Organic Beauty Products Hype or Truth Mother s Perspective Helping Children Grieve Spotlight Burton s Shoes of Lodi Cosmetic Surgery Common Plastic Surgery Questions HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 44 52 58 Trendsetter Dee Yates Finance What Every Woman Needs to Know About Money Working Women The Family Business Finding the Perfect Balance Spotlight Rick Weeks of Delta Financial Real Estate Short Sales and Foreclosures Green Living Keeping it Green while You clean Home Best Buys for Outdoors In Her Garden Debbie Olson 76 78 80 82 84 88 Garden Seed Saving Fine Things Magnificent Mirrors Travel Volunteering Vacations Bookclub Next to Love She Said Yes Stacey and Toby Tie The Knot Cassandra Murphy and Skyler Ingemansson Scene and be Seen Chamber Summer Mixer Horoscopes Calendar of Events 62 30 36 38 42 Inspirations Dr. Kaylin Schack Spotlight Bud s Seafood Grill Culinary Exotic Fruits Recipes Barramundi with Fruit Salsa No-Bake Dark Chocolate Haystacks with Macadamia Nuts Behind The Menu Velvet Grill & Creamery Wine What s Cooler than Ice Wine Winery Weibel Family Tasting Foodies 16 18 20 64 24 26 28 44 46 66 68 92 94 96 48 50 72 74 10 HERLIFE WELCOME all smiles mothers. And just when you get to your breaking point an alarm goes off inside of them and they do something nice for you that melts your heart and keeps you going for another week. You immediately forget that a moment earlier you wanted to pack a bag and run away. The smile on your face relaxes your body as you wipe your tear-stained cheeks and your little monster pulls you in for a hug. All is well homeostasis is restored and you begin your routine with the family and work all over again. My moments with my red-headed spitfire of a five-year-old son Jackson come early in the morning. When he stumbles down the stairs in his pajamas at least four stuffed animals in tow along with his pink blanket my heart skips a beat as I listen to his footsteps. He reaches the last step and I wait anxiously to see his sweet face. My heart melts when he throws himself into my arms and I can t help but smile from ear to ear. He is quiet for ten minutes and in that quiet he sits still in my arms. He tells me Good morning Mommy in a sweet tone and sometimes even inquires on how I slept. The moments pass quickly before he bounces up and turns into an energetic boy again. I questioned how long this feeling will last. When Jackson comes down the stairs in the morning as a teenager will I still be all smiles My question was answered as I walked up the back porch to my parents house early one Sunday morning. My mom and dad were right where I expected them to be in our family room sitting in their respective chairs newspapers gathered around them and a sleepy Bichon at their feet. The newspapers lowered and their faces were bright all smiles. p h o to by stu d i o m o h s o h T here are moments in every mom s life when you feel everything is slipping out of your control the house is a mess the kids are crying or fighting you are late to work late to school late for a birthday party and the agenda for dinner is macaroni and cheese again. Our children have a way of driving us crazy. It s almost as if they have a built-in monitor that measures the stress levels and dogged tiredness of their Kimber ly M ullen facebook Herlife of Central Valley twitter HERlifeCali 12 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFE HEALTH by l i sa ta r a n t o bu t l e r on this popular diet trend. What is Gluten Gluten is a protein found in grain foods such as wheat barley and rye. The word gluten stems from the Latin root word glten literally meaning glue which explains gluten s function rather appropriately. When foods bake gluten forms thick stretchy glue-like properties providing bread and other baked goods with elasticity and texture. Gluten also helps dough rise by trapping bubbles from fermenting yeast within the dough. Is Gluten Bad Some people may be diagnosed with celiac disease and their bodies simply cannot tolerate gluten. Others may have sensitivity to gluten. According to the National Foundation for Celiac Awareness celiac disease is an autoimmune digestive disease that damages the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. When people with celiac disease eat foods containing gluten their immune systems respond by damaging the lining of the small intestine. When this damage occurs the body is unable to absorb nutrients from the bloodstream which can lead to malnourishment. Left untreated people with celiac disease can develop further complications such as other autoimmune diseases osteoporosis thyroid disease and cancer. For those with sensitivity to gluten the symptoms are similar but less 14 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Y gluten-free diets severe. Research estimates that 18 million Americans have non-celiac gluten sensitivity. Symptoms of gluten sensitivity include headaches foggy mind joint pain and numbness in the legs arms or fingers. Symptoms typically appear hours or even days after gluten has been ingested. What are the Benefits of Eating Gluten Free For individuals diagnosed with celiac disease it is imperative to eat gluten free. For others with sensitivity to gluten it may be difficult for their bodies to absorb vitamins and minerals properly and they may have decreased energy levels and fatigue. By transitioning to a gluten-free diet they may be able to improve digestive issues strengthen brain function and alleviate tiredness. Eliminating gluten in the diet can also alleviate stomach upset diarrhea abdominal cramping gas bloating and constipation. For those without celiac disease or gluten sensitivities a gluten-free diet may improve energy levels and enhance mood while allowing for better focus and clearer thinking. Does Eating Gluten Free Help You Lose Weight Reducing or eliminating gluten in the diet doesn t necessarily mean cutting weight. Calories are calories no matter how you look at it. In fact some gluten-free products have more calories than their regular counterparts. Of course if you eat more calories in a day than you use the extra calories will be stored as fat. In addition some gluten-free foods contain extra sugar or fat to make them taste better and to make up for the loss of the gluten. Just make sure to read labels for the best food choices. What s on the Menu for Eating Gluten-Free When choosing the gluten-free route your path to good health starts the benefits of ou hear the words gluten free almost daily and you see them on various food labels and menus. They are listed in countless headlines and your favorite movie star may have just started a gluten-free diet. But what does gluten free really mean To get a handle on the term let s break down the facts and get the goods with steering clear of wheat barley and rye. Any ingredients with wheat in the name are a no-no but buckwheat is an exception. Barley and malt foods should be avoided as well as breaded or floured foods. Some marinades such as soy and teriyaki sauces contain gluten as well. Other gluten-laden foods are licorice imitation crabmeat and beer. But fear not-- many companies make gluten-free beer and the taste is often close to the real thing. Foods to say yes to on a gluten-free diet are milk butter margarine real cheese plain yogurt vegetable oil and canola oil. Nosh on plain fruits vegetables (fresh frozen and canned) meat seafood eggs nuts beans and legumes. Check credible online sources for lists of gluten-free foods and ingredients. Going gluten-free is not the answer to everyone s diet dilemma. When it comes to eating gluten most of us are not affected but eliminating it may improve some aspects of our overall wellbeing. If you think you may have celiac disease or a sensitivity to gluten get tested by your doctor and discuss with her or him whether a gluten-free diet (or any other diet) is right for you. So if you tend to get a regular tummy ache experience nagging joint pain or are often tired instead of reaching for a vitamin supplement or a third cup of coffee think about going gluten free in your diet. If you begin to notice a difference in the way you feel your gut feeling may have been right on target. HLM Sources HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 15 HERLIFE INTEGRATIVE MEDICINE sun exposure and skincare sunscreen both positive and negative there have been many studies that suggest that sunscreen could be hurting us as opposed to helping. Having sunscreen on too often might actually increase your risk of skin cancer whether it is due to a vitamin D deficiency or the chemicals from the sunscreen itself. I would suggest following the basics of healthy living to help combat any potential skin cancers eating lots of vegetables staying active and limiting your stress levels. Following the paleo diet is a great way to keep your body in top shape. By decreasing or deleting altogether your consump- S omething we all pay closer attention to during these blistering summer days is our sun exposure. Most of us are careful to layer on the sunscreen before a full day at the lake but sun exposure is something to be mindful of on a daily basis. As more research is done and compiled on effects of tion of foods that have been refined have chemicals in them or have other unhealthy qualities your body will be able to increase its productivity and ability to fight off diseases and other health issues. There are a few simple ways to help keep your skin healthy and to avoid future health problems such as skin cancer. The first which is sometimes easier said than done is to moderate your sun exposure. While getting your regular dose of Vitamin D is healthy and even recommended these doses should be closely monitored. Spend brief amounts of time in the sun before seeking out shade adding a hat or cover up or going inside. Being conscious of the time of day is important too try to spend shorter amounts of time in the sun in the afternoon when the day is hottest. HLM Dr. Lisa Hunt Lisa J. Hunt D.O. is the Medical Director of Valley Wellness Center in Modesto whose mission is to build on every level of your health to achieve the best quality of life. She is Board certified in Family Medicine and Holistic and Integrative Medicine. She specializes in anti-aging treatment natural thyroid replacement menopause andropause therapy (including bio-identical hormone replacement) strengthening the immune system neurotransmitter analysis replacement and nutritional support guidance. 16 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 17 HERLIFE SPOTLIGHT THE Grand project will assist in the development of new art and cultural centers across America. This professional and community-based fine arts a handful of similar facilities in America. The Grand Theatre Center for the Arts is also a wonderful rental facility. You can rent just a small space or the entire facility Large and private events are booked on a regular THEATRE national and international artists as well as arts organizations in all disciplines and genres. Performances at the Grand Theatre Center for the Arts have steadily increased over the years. Many amazing artists have performed at the Grand Theatre Center for the Arts over the past seven years including Willie Nelson Kellie Pickler Drew Carey Frank D Ambrosio Robert Cray Band Uncle Kracker and the Swon Brothers to name a few Cultural and family offerings for the current season include Mariachi Imperial De Mexico Diwali Festival of Lights The Nutcracker Alice in Wonderland and Mad Hatter s Tea Party Charlotte s Web Brubeck Institute and Jazz Reach and the Freedom Riders performance. The Grand is very excited to announce the 2014-2015 season that launches on August 23 2014 with two-time Grammy Award winner Peabo Bryson and includes such great acts as country artist Joe Nichols a holiday show with Bobby Caldwell an off-Broadway show Girls Night family entertainment classic rock Motown and much more This will prove to be the most exciting season yet HLM The Grand Theatre Center for the Arts is located at 715 Central Avenue Tracy California. For additional information visit or call (209) 831-6858. by k im s c ar la ta p h o to gra p hy by h a ske l l i m a ge s THE GRAND THEATRE OPENED ON AUGUST 11 1923 AS A PREMIERE vaudeville half-house. Conceived and built by German-born entrepreneur John C. Droge the theatre was converted to show talkies by the late 1920s. The facility received a major remodel during its heyday in 1941 complete with bold new Art Deco features and a sculptural marquee. It functioned as an eclectic movie house with occasional live performances until 1977. Today three generations of our community have enjoyed and experienced entertainment and fine art at the facility. Droge s crown jewel of Tracy has been historically renovated to once again offer live performances of all kinds as well as multi-media presentations and cinema. The 37 000-squarefoot facility opened in September 2007 and is celebrating its seventh anniversary during the 2014-2015 season. The Grand Theatre Center for the Arts is owned and operated by the City of Tracy and managed by the Cultural Arts Division in the City Manager s Office. The Grand has been honored with awards from the California Heritage Council and the California Preservation Foundation and has been acknowledged in the State Legislature and U.S. Congress. The Center was recognized as one of 50 unique and important cultural redevelopment projects being studied 18 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM in 2010. Information gained from this research municipal interdisciplinary arts center is the only one of its kind in the state of California offering programming through arts education exhibitions and performances of all kinds and is one of only corporations host their annual employee events here conferences also take place in the facility basis. The gallery spaces are available to rent with availability and scope subject to Exhibition Program oversight. Exhibitions that feature large objects and or a substantial amount of 3D work will restrict capacity flow and layout options for proposed events. The facility lends itself to a modern flair with the historical preservation of the building. Guests are amazed at the beauty of the Grand once they step inside. The Grand Galleries feature the Exhibitions Program which offers combinations of professionally produced exhibitions and fine arts-based events. Exhibitions feature local regional HERLIFE BEAUTY by l i n d say l a d e ro u te hype or truth the extra money on organic beauty products or is it all a marketing ploy What difference does organic actually make These questions and many more arise when it comes to organic products. Read on to learn what organic means and whether organic products should make their way into your beauty routine. Understanding organic products begins with knowing what the term organic means. According to Merriam-Webster s online dictionary the basic definition of organic is something grown or made without the use of artificial chemicals. The website includes another definition that goes into more depth stating that organic products are made from ingredients produced without the use of growth stimulants antibiotics chemical fertilizers or pesticides. This appears to be the perfect formula for beauty products The problem lies in the fact that there is not a standard definition for organic beauty products in the United States. Although most people have an idea about what organic means generally a product made or a food grown with no added chemicals preservatives or man-made materials there is not a 20 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM organic beauty products A re organic products all hype or is there truth to the new craze Organic beauty products have traveled from specialty items to mainstream purchases over the past few years. But what does it truly mean to be organic Should you spend blanket definition for organic beauty products. Don t begin to fret that all of the organic products in your makeup case are impostors there are some regulations that can guarantee a product is organic. Beauty products that use any type of agricultural products may be regulated by the USDA s National Organic Program (NOP) which has two different levels of organic labeling. Items labeled 100 percent organic are made up entirely of organic materials excluding salt and water content. Organic is used if the product is made up of at least 95 percent organic ingredients. Recognizing that your products meet the USDA s definition of organic is easy there will be a seal which is a circle containing the words USDA ORGANIC on the front of the packaging and the name of the agency that certified it as organic must be displayed on the back. If your products do not have the USDA organic seal that doesn t necessarily mean they are not organic certifying a product can be expensive and time-consuming and the process results in some businesses choosing not to become USDA organic certified. Other phrases describing a product s organic content may be used but the product won t have a USDA stamp. The National Organic Program allows the use of made with organic ingredients to refer to a product with 70 to 95 percent organic ingredients. These products may list Continued on page 22 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 21 Recognizing that your products are USDA Organic is easy there will be a seal which is a circle containing the words USDA ORGANIC on the front of the packaging and the name of the agency that certified it as organic must be displayed on the back. three organic ingredients in the labeling and may use the certifying agent s logo if they are prepared in a certified facility. The manufacturer of any item using less than 70 percent organic ingredients is proscribed from using the term organic although it may state made with organic ... and then list up to three ingredients or ingredient categories. For beauty products the stamp to look for is the NSF Contains Organic Ingredients logo. NSF International headquartered in Ann Arbor Michigan is a 66-year-old independent non-profit standards development organization whose standards are accredited by the American National Standards Institute. Its NSF ANSI 305 Standard defines organic labeling specifically for beauty and hygiene products. Many of these products are not certified organic by the USDA because of cosmetic industry processes and production methods. The NSF stamp may be used on any cosmetic item that contains at least 70 percent organic ingredients. Certification for an NSF seal follows the same structure and steps as the USDA NOP system. Keep a product s water content in mind when determining if an item is organic. If the description uses the terms organic natural or chemical free without the logo of the USDA or NSF International the water content can be considered a portion of the organic percentage. For items such as shampoos or body washes this can mean the item is technically 90 percent organic although the other 10 percent may be extremely high in chemicals or altered substances. Another descriptor to be wary of is natural there are no federal regulations on this term when used about organic items. It is usually used to refer to products derived from nature such as plant fruit or flower derivatives or oils that may have been chemically treated or altered. Once you ve found some truly organic beauty products are they worth the extra money they might cost For those who have sensitive skin skin allergies or serious reactions to chemicals the answer is yes. Organic products may be gentler on skin and help reduce bad reactions or sensitivities. Remember the fact that a product earns the organic certification does not guarantee that it will provide good or better results. Look for scientific backing or personal reviews to get a grasp of the product and its benefits. If you are passionate about being organic and chemical free when you find the right products that give you beautiful results the money is well worth it. HLM Sources 22 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 23 HERLIFE MOTHER S PERSPECTIVE grieve a loss by h e a th e r n o b l e p h d helping your child G necessary. rieving a loss can be difficult devastating and complicated for any of us. The thoughts and emotions involved are intense and vary by the day. Include a child who might also be impacted by the loss and be grieving and the situation becomes much more complex. Does it really need to be so At the very least it is important to be mindful of how the child is experiencing the loss and what he or she might need for support. At the same time it s often helpful to be aware of any misconceptions that you might have about children s experiences of death that add stress or strain to the child and you when it actually might not be child might become scared wondering whether she will die the next time Myth 1 Children should avoid exposure to death. Although death can certainly be painful for those who are grieving it can also be viewed as a very normal and natural part of the life cycle. From an early age children can begin to witness and consider it. A wilting flower in the vase a dead bug in the yard and even the changing colors of leaves during the fall season are natural occurrences that spark curiosity and questions from children. These are valuable moments to acknowledge how death is a part of life. Such discussions might be easier since fewer emotions are involved and they can serve as foundational learning for future experiences that are more emotional. Myth 2 Death is too complex or scary to discuss with children. Very young children through ages five or six understand concepts and the world in very concrete and literal terms. Death can be explained in a fairly simple manner. For the bug in the yard that has died its body stopped working and thus it stopped moving. Euphemisms such as went to sleep should be avoided because this can be incredibly confusing. A Myth 3 Children should never attend a funeral. This will depend upon how you and your child feel about attending. When it is being considered talk with your child about what he might expect to see and hear. For a young child describe the scene if the body of the she goes to sleep. Therefore it is better to be specific in describing what behavioral changes occur as a result of death including how the person no longer eats talks moves etc. This might be a time to share any spiritual or religious beliefs as they relate to the discussion. For older children offer your openness to discussing their thoughts and addressing their questions. For some questions you might not know the answers and it is okay to share in the wondering with your child. It is healthy to show you are open to considering questions and sharing in the grieving process. If you notice any changes in the child especially a dramatic shift in behaviors or emotions do not hesitate to seek input and support from family friends community members and possibly professionals for your child and for yourself. 24 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM person who died will be in an open casket and again note how that person will not be moving or interacting with anyone in any way. Also describe how others might be experiencing strong emotions including crying due to mourning. If the child wants to attend consider having a designated person who can assist if the circumstances would prevent your assistance. This person would be willing and able to leave the funeral with the child should the child decide he wants to leave at any point. Myth 4 You need to stay strong and not show your own sadness to your child. While the emotions that might be stirred up within you can feel unpleasant they are important. They are natural reactions to something major that has happened in your life and impacts you. For a child you are then in the powerful position of role model for how an adult can experience and navigate the strong emotional vicissitudes of grieving in a healthy way. When the child witnesses your tears explain in a straightforward manner why you are crying. If the child is young or appears concerned provide reassurance that you feel sad because you miss the deceased person and it is normal to experience distress. However that does not change how much you love the child and will remain supportive in her life. A child might not experience death in the same way that you do and that is okay. It is best to provide time and space along with patient support and understanding. As with all other major changes in life dealing with death and loss is a process for all of us at any age. HLM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 25 HERLIFE SPOTLIGHT Burt Shoes of Lodi on s PROPER FIT IS KEY by re becca flans burg P hot ogr ap hy by b r ig g s p hot ogr ap hy We are very aware of our customers preferences and that includes shoes manufactured in the U.S.A. with American-made materials Yolanda revealed. We do our best to locate those companies and do business with them to keep them in business and doing well. It is how we feel we can do our part in supporting American-made products. 26 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM L ocated in beautiful downtown Lodi the last remaining Burton s store in Lodi he jumped at the chance. Though it s been more than half a century since the original Burton s Shoes set down roots in the Central Valley region their values and beliefs for providing quality footwear remain strong today. We firmly believe in the sit and fit practice of selling shoes shared Cynthia. That concept was the way all shoes used to be purchased in the past. The local shoe store was a destination and buying shoes for your family was an event. We work to keep that concept alive by taking the time to work with each customer that comes through our doors to find out what their needs are through Burton s Shoes has been a source for everything from elegant high heels to custom-fit orthotics for the whole family since 1948. The Burton s Shoes company has had name recognition as a supplier of high-quality footwear since the 1940s and the original Burton s Shoes had eight locations in Northern California including one in Lodi. Frank Garza the current owner of Burton s along with his wife Yolanda and daughter Cynthia Estrella is no stranger to the shoe business. Frank worked his way through college selling shoes in the 1960s and when the opportunity arose in 1992 to purchase a series of questions. These questions and attention to their needs will ultimately help us make sure they get the best fit possible. With our long experience and deep knowledge of the shoe industry we can analyze our customer s feet and instinctively know what will fit their foot. We want our customers to have a quality product that fits them correctly and also lasts a long time. Burton s staff of seven employees some of whom have been with the company for more than 20 years are constantly training on new products and retraining on current products in order to stay consistent with proper fit and expertise. At a time when many shoe shoppers turn to big box stores or online shopping Yolanda and Cynthia point out the benefits of working with a local shoes store like Burton s. Such advantages include a highly trained and knowledgeable staff a welcoming atmosphere and a high-quality product that will fit like it was made for their feet. They also shared that many of their customers prefer shoes made in the U.S.A. We are very aware of our customers preferences and that includes shoes manufactured in the U.S.A. with American-made materials Yolanda revealed. We do our best to locate those companies and do business with them to keep them in business and doing well. It is how we feel we can do our part in supporting American-made products. With the desire to always provide the best quality product possible Burton s Shoes carries brands such as ECCO UGG New Balance SAS Stride Rite Naot Clarks Birkenstock and many other top brands for the whole family. The shoe manufacturers we work with have continued to do an amazing job to produce healthy shoes but also ones that look stylish Cynthia added. The orthotic shoes we carry have evolved so much over the years and that has also been beneficial to this community. Many of our local medical community members refer their patients to us because they know we can help make them feel better. We have people who come to us with back issues or knee issues and it s amazing what quality footwear and orthotics will do to enhance their quality of life. Our diabetic customers are also very important to us and we carry a full line of diabetic shoes hosiery compression socks and inserts to help with their foot care needs. Burton s long-standing reputation of stellar customer service and exceptional products has worked to keep generations of customers coming back time and time again. We recently had a long-time customer come in with her greatgranddaughter for shoes Yolanda affirmed. This child will be the fifth generation of that family who will get fitted for shoes at Burton s. Even customers who move away will stop back at our store for shoes when visiting and they bring friends When we gain a new customer it s like gaining a new friend for us. That is something we are so grateful for. It all starts with your feet Cynthia informed. The health and comfort of your feet the two things that carry you everywhere in life can affect your overall health if not properly cared for. Pay attention to your feet invest in quality footwear and your feet will carry you far in life. HLM Visit Burton s Shoes at 226 S. School Street in Lodi California or call (209) 334-6822 for more information. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 27 HERLIFE COSMETIC SURGERY JOSEPH R. BURLIN MD American Board of Plastic Surgery Stanford Trained More than 25 Years of Experience Common Plastic Surgery Questions Q. I had breast cancer several years ago and had a mastectomy of my right breast. My remaining left breast is a 32C. My sister is very interested in liposuction to her abdomen and I was wondering if the liposuction fat could be injected into my right chest to create a breast mound. A. Breast reconstruction following mastectomy is a very rewarding procedure for both the patient and the surgeon. There are a number of different methods to successfully restore a breast but the use of fat injections is not one of them. Breast reconstruction is best accomplished with the use of a silicone breast implant that provides the best and most predictable long-term results. Fat injections are typically not predictable and frequently require multiple injection sessions. Further fat injections between different people would not work unless they are genetically identical (i.e. identical twins). Q. I still have a very large gap in my stomach muscles 14 months following the birth of my third child. I notice a huge gap in my stomach muscles when I lift my head off the ground while lying on my back. I am fairly thin and don t think I need a tummy tuck. Are there any special exercises that I can do to fix the problem A. The problem you describe is known as diastasis recti. We all have two major abdominal muscles (rectus abdominis) that run vertically down the center of the abdomen. During pregnancy these muscles shift outward which reduces the resistance of the abdominal wall to the movement of the baby coming forward. Unfortunately following pregnancy (especially multiple pregnancies) these muscles may not move back into their previous position lined up in the center of the abdomen. The gap that occurs is the resultant space between the muscles. The treatment of this problem is simply to secure the muscles back together (from the ribs above to the pubic area below) with sutures. An abdominoplasty surgery usually treats any of three separate issues removal of extra skin removal of extra fat and tightening of the abdominal muscles. Thus while you might not need to have much skin or fat removed a more limited abominoplasty would still be required in order to achieve the muscle tightening. Q. I had a consultation for breast augmentation surgery a few months ago. Prior to that visit I did research about the procedure on the Internet. I read that the implants can be placed either above or below the chest muscles. However at my consultation the surgeon told me that the final implant placement would be both above and below the chest muscles. Now I am really confused. How is that possible A. This is a very common question that I address in nearly every consultation I have on breast augmentation surgery. I like to explain to patients that there are several different placement options available to choose from when inserting a breast implant. Each of these options has advantages and disadvantages that must be considered individually for each patient thus there is no one best way to place a breast implant. The ultimate factor that determines implant placement is the adequacy of soft tissue coverage over the implant itself. Most patients considering breast augmentation have very little breast tissue and thus there is very little soft tissue available to cover an implant thus it is best to place the implant deeper under the chest muscles so that the muscle itself can add additional padding over the implant and avoid implant palpability or visibility. If on the other hand a patient seeks augmentation surgery but she already has a moderate amount of breast tissue (patient is already a C C cup and wants to go to a D D cup) then it is not necessary to go under the muscle and a beautiful and natural result is usually achieved by placing the implant above the chest muscles. When the decision is made to go under the chest muscles it is important to know that the pectoralis chest muscle does not cover the entire chest and that even if the implant is placed under the chest muscle there will be a certain portion of the implant (about 20 to 30 percent) that will NOT be directly under the muscle. So when the surgeon told you that your implant would be both under and above the chest muscles he was technically correct but most people would simply refer to that placement as simply under the muscle. When the implant is placed above the muscle there are actually two different ways that can occur as well. There is a very thick membrane (fascia) that lies directly over the muscle. Implants can be placed either on top of this membrane and directly under the breast tissue itself (subglandular) or under the membrane (subfascial). The subfascial placement has been very popular in South America and Europe for many years and data show it to be superior to the subglandular method. When going above the muscle I always use the subfascial method. HLM If you have questions or would like to hear about a certain topic relating to cosmetic surgery or skin care please email your questions to Kimberly 28 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFE INSPIRATIONS I truly believe that by volunteering or by being present in various organizations you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The more you know the more powerful your life business and confidence will become. If you allow your wisdom to speak for you the extra things like age and gender just fall to the wayside. 30 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Dr. Kaylin Schack BACK TO BASICS wr it t en by r eb ec c a flan sb u rg p h o to gra p hy by d a ri o l eve n ti n i o f f 3 stu d i o s p h o to gra p hy lig ht ing as s is t ant s haw n a b ri g g s h a i r a n d m a ke u p by j e ssi c a va n r u i te n o f j v r d e si g n A all set to music. body always in motion is an accurate way to describe chiropractor and long-time Tracy resident Dr. Kaylin Schack. Born and raised in Tracy and a 2003 Tracy High School graduate Kaylin began Around the eighth grade Kaylin s coach decided to move to a different city and that decision marked the end of the sports acrobatics program. I was disappointed but I also knew I wanted to stay active so I started thinking about what other sport I would like to participate in. Kaylin noted. Since I was going into high school I opted to go for high school gymnastics. In my freshman year of high school a teacher named Julie Van Os who was also the school s activity director and owner of a competitive cheerleading program encouraged me to try cheerleading. She had heard through the grapevine that I could tumble so she asked me to tumble across the football field as part of a rally fest. I did and that s where my love of competitive cheer began. The years that followed found Kaylin becoming more deeply involved in the sport of competitive cheerleading but she was sidelined in her junior year after experiencing a bad back injury. Due to that injury Kaylin once again found herself visiting the local chiropractor. My interest in the chiropractic profession was really piqued at that time I would use my visits to not only get treatment for my injury but also to soak up information like a sponge. I would ask questions and observe everything that my chiropractor was doing. By the end of my junior year I knew a career in chiropractic care was what I wanted to do with my life. After graduating from Palmer College of Chiropractic West in San Jose in 2010 Kaylin spent some time working an externship at Tracy Chiropractic. The last four months of chiropractic education is spent doing something called an externship Kaylin noted. Externships are experiential learning opportunities similar to internships generally offered by career college types of educational institutions. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 31 the journey to her current profession with an interest in chiropractic during her high school years her academic choice ultimately led to a stint at San Diego State University after high school graduation. Knowing she was on the right career path Kaylin went on to attend Palmer College of Chiropractic West in San Jose where she graduated valedictorian and magna cum laude in 2010. Today as a well-known chiropractor at Tracy Chiropractic Kaylin uses her love of being active and of body health to help her patients feel better and get on the path to wellness. Kaylin s active lifestyle and interest in body health began when she discovered gymnastics at the tender age of four. Her love of tumbling soon evolved into something called sports acrobatics a competitive gymnastic discipline in which partnerships of gymnasts work together and perform routines consisting of acrobatic moves dance and tumbling I started with sports acrobatics right around the fourth grade and instantly fell in love with the sport Kaylin revealed. It s very similar to Cirque du Soleil and I really had a talent for it. I trained several hours a week and sometimes as many as eight hours a day in the summer. But with that high caliber and elite training come injuries. Luckily I never really had any serious injuries but mild ones did happen. I think that s when I first became aware of the profession of chiropractor. I am very passionate and give a lot of whatever spare time I can find to the community of Tracy Kaylin shared. I think by being born and raised in such a small town like Tracy one develops a strong love for a place like this. If I sound nostalgic about my hometown it s because I am 32 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM I was able to do my externship at Tracy Chiropractic with Dr. Timothy Brown who just so happened to be the partner of my original chiropractor from my high school athletics days. After my externship was over and I graduated I continued working for Tracy Chiropractic and it has been an amazing experience for me. What does Kaylin like best about her career in chiropractic The most enjoyable moments in any given day or week are when someone says I wish I had come to see you sooner or I ve never felt this good before. Those times are the most rewarding for me--and also when I realize what a cool and distinctive profession I m in she affirmed. Chiropractic is unique because we have the opportunity to form long-term relationships with our patients since the majority of them need to come repeatedly as opposed to a single visit. I feel as if I gain a new friend every time a new patient comes to me for care. During her down time Kaylin admits she still loves to be active but also appreciates time spent just hanging out with friends and family. My life is very full and very busy she confirmed with a laugh. I love spending time with my friends and my family. I enjoy cooking immensely and look for any opportunity to entertain and cook. My parents without a shadow of a doubt are my biggest fans and support me in whatever I do. I m tremendously grateful for my family s love and support. Acknowledging that she has thick roots in her community this longtime Tracy resident also does her best to give back to her community through volunteerism. Active on local boards such as the Tracy Grand Foundation and involved in such organizations as the local Chamber of Commerce and the Good Samaritan Community Services Kaylin also makes time to serve as club service director for the Tracy Rotary Club. I am very passionate and give a lot of whatever spare time I can find to the community of Tracy Kaylin shared. I think by being born and raised in such a small town like Tracy one develops a strong love for a place like this. If I sound nostalgic about my hometown it s because I am I went away to two different schools for my education but ultimately came back here something that I didn t think would happen. My childhood was filled with bike rides lemonade stands and insanely hot summer pool days. It was a wonderful way and place to grow up. This town shaped my childhood and I very much enjoy being a part of it as an adult. Staying involved with community events and organizations is one of my top priorities. Another local community project Kaylin is passionate about and gladly lends her time and expertise to is the community s competitive cheerleading program Athletic Perfection for which she acts as coach and serves as team doctor. Working with the girls and staff at Athletic Perfection has been so rewarding for me Kaylin declared. It is basically a continuation of what I was doing in high school but now instead of performing I am coaching a team of girls who are in the 12- to 19-year-old age bracket. I also get to coach with my best friends Andrea Fagundes Jennifer Moore and Julie Van Os who are also owners of the gym. Currently I commit as much as nine hours a week to coaching but in my opinion it s time well spent. It s a welcomed addition to my day-to-day routine and it brings me just as much joy as chiropractic does. What advice does Kaylin have for those just starting out in their careers Someone told me a long time ago to say yes to any opportunity that comes along. Obviously there needs to be a work life balance but I also believe that the fact that I have said yes to so many opportunities is why I am enjoying the success that I have now. The end result has been so enriching for my personal and work life and the chance to learn from others is priceless. I truly believe that by volunteering or by being present in various organizations you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The more you know the more powerful your life business and confidence will become. If you allow your wisdom to speak for you the extra things like age and gender just fall to the wayside. HLM To learn more about Dr. Kaylin Schack visit the Tracy Chiropractic website HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 33 L di Living HERLIFE CRAVINGS Bud s Seafood Grill wr it t en by ad r iana b r og ger p hot ogr ap hy by b r e meyer 36 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM W hen the temperature starts to rise and you don t feel like turning on a hot oven or even messing with a stove a cool refreshing salad might be money with that assessment. There s something for everyone at Bud s. And while that halibut will be forever imprinted on my taste buds I also fell in love with Bud s Beef. It s the most tender flavorful melt-in-your-mouth piece of beef You will be singing its praises after just one bite It s offered multiple ways salads entrees appetizers. It is a recipe Bud has had for the last 30 years. If you like beef you will LOVE this. Another dish not to miss is the Clam Chowder. The clam chowder recipe has been in Bud s flavor arsenal for 35 years. It s a hit with customers. I asked Bud what the secret is. We in the restaurant business for 34 years. Once the opportunity to have his own restaurant came up Bud took on the adventure and the rest is history Today Bud and his wife Jeanne are less involved than they once were with Bud s Seafood Grille and its day-to-day operations mostly in the hands of the Millsaps capable son Matt. Bud s family affinity for great food and high standards is a shining star among local restaurants. Bud attributes his restaurant s success to having a great customer base and consistency in the kitchen. There are plenty of regulars some customers are so consistent that they call only to say when they won t be in Still Bud says there is room for everyone at his table especially new faces. Everyone is welcomed here at Bud s. Bud s Seafood Grille is well loved by its community. This is evidenced by the restaurant s earning the distinction of taking first place in the local paper s category of Best Seafood Restaurant in San Joaquin County for the last 20 years. Bud is also committed to sourcing his ingredients and resources locally whenever possible. It s important for us to do business with people who have a vested interest in our community Bud explained. In addition to the regular menu salads the perfect dining option. Instead of slicing and dicing on a sweltering day turn to Bud s Seafood Grille in Stockton s Lincoln Center for a fabulous find on a fresh salad creation (and so much more ). You ll feel right at home with Bud s great service elegant atmosphere and welcoming staff. Best of all There s an emphasis on two key things here simplicity and freshness. We make everything from scratch desserts salad dressings everything right here in our kitchen Bud explained. He is adamant about offering only the highestquality ingredients. Our motto from the beginning was simple and fresh. Fresh veggies when in season are the featured stars of many dishes on the menu. Local tomatoes asparagus and fruits are crafted into amazing and flavorful dishes at Bud s. Food made from scratch using whole ingredients is the cornerstone of the Bud s experience. Crispy lettuce colorful tomatoes ripe veggies and exquisite meats and seafood are the stars of the summer menu. The salads were glorious I enjoyed every superb bite of the Shrimp and Crab Louie Cobb Shrimp Stuffed Avocado Fresh Garden and the Tomato Shrimp Vinaigrette salads I sampled. As the name implies seafood is the specialty at Bud s. Petrale sole catfish calamari prawns red snapper salmon halibut mahi mahi rainbow trout northwest select oysters and more are what you can expect to find. They offer the freshest fish and pride themselves as being what Bud calls the best seafood place in town. After a heavenly bite of Seared Halibut in Beurre Blanc I have to say he is right on the don t skimp on it. It s a CLAM chowder. There s nothing in it that s instant. It comes fully loaded. My philosophy is this give people good quality the best and they ll want it. It was a treat to meet with Bud Millsaps the man behind the business and get an inside look at one of my personal local favorites. Bud is easily one of the most pleasant people I have come across while writing our Cravings column. It s clear he is passionate about high-quality great food. He enjoys feeding people who love great food. As you might guess we got along just fine. Bud grew up in Linden and he still grows his own fruits and vegetables there. He has been Bud s offers weekly salad specials. We re always modifying. We listen to what people like. The well-appointed interior of the restaurant offers lots of room there s the comfortable patio dining area and a banquet room is available for up to 40 guests if you re planning a private affair. Brunch is served every Sunday. Bud s also offers a full service bar for your pleasure. Daily Happy Hour is from 4 00 p.m. to 6 30 p.m. HLM Go in for a great meal at 314 Lincoln Center Stockton or call ahead to make reservations at (209) 956-0270. You can also check them out online at One of the Central Valley s leading proponents of all things multimedia Adriana Brogger has worked as a reporter blogger producer host emcee writer and actress performer in local media for more than ten years. She teaches Multimedia Production at San Joaquin Delta College and loves it Born in the year of the monkey Adriana has a clever wit and a magnetic personality. Seriously though she enjoys good comedy spending time with her hubby and four cute boys and of course great food. If you know of a local restaurant that would welcome a visit by Adriana 37 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM please contact Kimberly Mullen at Kimberly HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 37 HERLIFE CULINARY love at first bite by p a tty c o o k exotic fruits grass the heady scent of all flowering things a sultry breeze in the summer sun a warm and starry night... the sound of bees and the sight of the first butterfly I remember that first unexpected summer romance. What I m talking about is hybrid fruit of course. My culinary crush was a goofylooking cantaloupe. Its rind had an exotic alien quality with none of the familiar orange and white netting of the ordinary melons in grocery stores or roadside stands. This fruit had a smooth gray-green netting as unfamiliar as an ancient map of a European city. I was dubious about making a commitment but I took a calculated risk. Risky behavior is not always rewarded. In this case slicing that cantaloupe was the beginning of a summer love affair. Its flavor surpassed that of any cantaloupe or honeydew I d ever tasted and the paper-thin rind produced an abundance of fruit. In my cantaloupe-intoxicated passion I bought one of these on every trip to the store. But like any summer love this one was destined to last only one season. The following year I waited patiently for its return. I hung out where we first met week after week playing it cool when the truth was that I could hardly wait for this delightful relationship to begin anew. But as time passed reality set 38 38 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM W e each have our own private sweet memory of our first summer love. Against a backdrop of fresh-mown in. I had to admit that I d been stood up in the produce aisle. Anyone who has experienced a failed relationship wants to know the reason it had to end. In time I sought out the produce manager to ask--what happened Ma am it was a hybrid. What Hybrids. Every year in a field somewhere something cross-pollinates. We ll have a whole crop of good stuff. But it s never there the next year. And so I learned that my summer fling had been the result of a summer fling of its own Somewhere a farmer unexpectedly had a couple of fields of cantaloupe. Fate with help from the birds and the bees helped produce a once-in-a-lifetime generation of cantaloupe that would never reproduce. It seemed like a tragedy of star-crossed lovers. I remembered the old wives tales from serious gardeners and farmers in the family people who faithfully composted their leftover harvest each year. They spoke of strange-looking vines and fruits emerging from the compost pile the following spring things that were not quite cucumbers or cantaloupes but something in between could it be a one-time hybrid Modern science says no certain hybrids like these are as elusive as unicorns. Cucumbers and squash do not cross-pollinate nor do squash and melons. But hybrid produce has existed as long as mankind has tilled soil and planted seeds. Fields of cantaloupe in Continued on page 40 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 39 ancient Sumeria were carried to Europe and beyond by wind insects merchant trade routes armies in wartime and other travelers. They were cross-bred with muskmelon along the way. People still confuse a true cantaloupe (small and round with a smooth dark netted rind) with its hybrid muskmelon cousins (larger with deeper ridges). The hybrid fruits and vegetables in grocery stores today were probably influenced most by a commercial nurseryman named Luther Burbank. As a plant breeder in the early 1900s Burbank was responsible for introducing more than 200 varieties of fruit into American produce. He was not a scientist but he used techniques such as cross-pollination seed selection and grafting to bring new varieties of apples straw- Here are some exotic hybrids found in grocery stores and their provenance Cotton Candy Grapes A hybrid seedless grape embryo plants are grown in vitro Honeycrisp Apples Macoun and Honeygold apples combo Pluots Plum and apricot its predecessor was the plumcot Peacotum Peach apricot and plum cross Rabbage Cabbage crossed with radish Tangelos Tangerine and grapefruit hybrid Nectacotum Nectarine apricot and plum cross Boysenberries Blackberry and raspberry cross berries cherries peaches pears and more to the marketplace. Hybridization should not be confused with GMOs (genetically modified organisms). Hybrid plants occur in nature through crosspollination. Some hybrids are the result of controlled pollination--more of an arranged marriage controlled by a plant breeder as opposed to fields pollinated by the birds and the bees. One example of hybridization is the seedless watermelon which is a sterile fruit. Think in terms of mules in the animal kingdom hybrid offspring of horses and donkeys combine the desired traits of both breeds in a patient and intelligent field animal that cannot produce offspring. In contrast GMOs are unable to occur naturally as they have components of altered DNA that change their very gene structure. One example of this is the Hawaiian rainbow papaya. When the papaya ringspot virus threatened to wipe out the harvest DNA from the virus was transferred into papaya DNA producing genetically modified fruit that was resistant to the disease. Once-exotic fruits are now ordinary who knows what the hybrid future holds Only the imagination of the creative and tasteful agriculturists and horticulturalists HLM Sources almanac content 97 2 95.full 40 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 41 HERLIFE RECIPES barramundi with fruit salsa Serves 4 Prep time 15 minutes Cook time 10 minutes ingredients 2 kiwis peeled and diced 4 large strawberries diced cup diced pineapple cup extra virgin olive oil 1 Tablespoon lemon juice 1 clove garlic minced 1 teaspoon dried oregano teaspoon salt teaspoon ground black pepper 4 barramundi fish fillets (about 4 ounces each) tilapia may also be used directions Set oven to broil with rack 4 inches from the heat. Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray. In a medium bowl stir together the kiwi strawberries and pineapple. In a small bowl whisk together the olive oil lemon juice garlic oregano salt and pepper. Transfer the fillets to the baking sheet and brush the mixture on top. Broil about 4 minutes per side (depending on the thickness of the fillets) or until flaky and cooked through. Keep an eye on the broiler so they don t burn Top with the salsa and serve. HLM recipes and p hot ogr ap hy by ver y c ulinar y.c om 42 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM no-bake dark chocolate haystacks with macadamia nuts Makes approximately 30 Prep time 20 minutes ingredients 3 cups chopped dark chocolate 1 teaspoon shortening 3 cups chow mein noodles 1 cup chopped macadamia nuts white chocolate for drizzling optional directions Line 2 baking sheets with wax paper set aside. Place chocolate and shortening in a large microwave-safe bowl cook in the microwave for 1 minute and then in 20 second intervals stirring each time until melted and smooth. Add in the chow mein noodles and macadamia nuts stir to combine. Drop heaping tablespoon mounds of the mixture onto the wax paper a few inches apart. Drizzle white melted chocolate over the tops if desired. By the time you ve formed all of them they should be dry. If not place baking sheets in the refrigerator for a few minutes to fully set. Eat and enjoy HLM recipes and p hot ogr ap hy by ver y c ulinar y.c om HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 43 HERLIFE BEHIND THE MENU VELVET GRILL & CREAMERY Capturing Taste Buds in the Central Valley by re b e c c a f l a n sb u rg p h o to gra p hy by j u l i e n i c o l e p h o to gra p hy Tina and I are both self-proclaimed foodies Kirk confirmed. We love food and are always trying new foods. We ve used this curiosity to help Velvet Grill s menu to continually evolve by incorporating new and fresh flavors or seasonings. K irk Smith likes food. The long-time owner of Velvet Grill & Creamery began his passion for the restaurant industry during his teen years and today that passion continues to fuel his goal of creating memorable flavor profiles textures and innovative dining ideas within the walls of his four Central Valley locations. My love of food and the restaurant industry began while I was still in high school Kirk shared. I worked at a Bob s Big Boy in Southern California and worked my way up from dishwasher to area supervisor. Then in 1990 I was presented the opportunity to come on board with the original Velvet Creamery owners and I ve been with Velvet ever since. In the early to mid-1990s we became Velvet Grill & Creamery and at that time shifted our focus away from ice cream and more toward food. The Velvet Grill & Creamery flourished until around 2007 when the changing economy began forcing some of the local restaurants to close their doors. Around that time the company chose to refocus their attention on ice cream as a creative way to get through the tough times. Not only did Velvet Grill shift their focus back to ice cream they decided to do it with a twist. We started looking at what we could make ourselves in house Kirk shared. It started with soup. We found that if we made our own soups from scratch not only was it more cost effective it was a higher quality product. So then we started looking at ice cream and wondering Could we make our own and make a better product With that thought in mind Kirk did what any savvy person would do he Googled it. This resulted in a vast amount of information about making ice cream from scratch but one particular finding stood out to him. A gentleman by the name of Malcolm Stogo ran a company called Ice Cream University in New Jersey that specialized in all things ice cream. Intrigued Kirk soon boarded a plane for New Jersey and spent several days learning the process behind making homemade ice cream. I used what I learned at Ice Cream University to buy the equipment that we would need for producing high-end ice cream and also for making unique ice cream recipes Kirk enthused. We add fresh ingredients such as fruits nuts and even wines (for the adults) to create different flavors. It was a huge hit and we eventually added this process to both of our Modesto locations our Lodi location and our 44 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM new Galt location. Kirk and his team took this love of handmade ice cream to a new level two years ago when Velvet Grill added a mobile ice cream cart to the mix. Using this ice cream store on wheels the business sold their product at events such as high school sporting events local winery celebrations and even weddings. Our ice cream cart concept has been hugely popular with the community Kirk revealed. We are getting many requests for our ice cream cart to be present at a wide variety of events and we ve even actively used it for fundraisers. We added a second cart not long ago and will probably be adding another soon since the demand seems to be increasing. Kirk s family is involved in the Velvet Grill & Creamery experience as well. Tina Kirk s wife of 30 years helps with everything from waiting tables to making ice cream. The couple s oldest daughter Kimberly 21 has also worked in the restaurant in the past and Kirk has memories of 14-year-old Danielle wiping down tables occasionally in her grade school years. Kirk admits there are times he still cooks at his restaurants but his main focus has been on continuing to create dishes and recipes that their clientele enjoy. Tina and I are both self-proclaimed foodies Kirk confirmed. We love food and are always trying new foods. We ve used this curiosity to help Velvet Grill s menu to continually evolve by incorporating new and fresh flavors or seasonings. Anyone who owns a restaurant knows that you need to always be striving to find new ways to capture people s tastebuds. We create things at Velvet Grill & Creamery that people love and crave and since they can t re-create that flavor at home they feed their craving by coming back to our restaurant. HLM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 45 HERLIFE WINE by do u g fr o s t what s cooler than ice wine E verybody likes dessert right Luscious fruit pie ice-cold ice cream or a thick gooey brownie So why don t dessert wines feel a bit of that love Throughout wine s long history it s the sweeties that have consistently earned the high praise and highest prices. Now instead modern favorites tend toward dark and wine. But the greater volume is merely water. Freeze that water into ice and what s left is far more concentrated in sweetness and in flavor. Freezing the grapes on the vine seems to lock in a bit more of that flavor than a trip to the deep freezer at least to this taster. New York State uses two differing terms for its versions Ice Wine (frozen on the vine) or Iced Wine (frozen afterwards in the cellar). You can find lovely versions of either one but the true Ice Wine is going to be expensive. To make it you have to start with ripe grapes and then instead of harvesting them you wait. And wait. In most cases ice wine grapes are going to be hanging out until early December or even into January. By that time animals or rain will have ruined them most ice wine makers use netting to keep birds from feeding on them. But only a few climates cold northerly ones such as Canada Austria or Germany see temperatures chill enough to turn those grapes into the frozen little marbles that make them ideal for ice wine production. What is squeezed out of them is intensely sweet juice but different from that produced by other late-harvested grapes though it s hard exactly to explain why. Mere late-harvested grapes produce wine that can be densely sweet almost like pancake syrup but ice wine tends to be lighter in style for such an intensely sweet wine. Still it s mostly a function of the producer. As in all things wine good producers make good wine consistently bad producers are just as consistent in their own unfortunate way. If you want to taste the upper limits of the style you ll have to save up powerful reds with teeth-shattering tannins dry as a British comedy the sweet wines of fame are overlooked or forgotten. Lush and honeyed drinks such as Sauternes (once the most famous of Bordeaux wines) Tokaji (Hungary s first and only moment in the vinous sun) Constantia (South Africa s centuries-long competitor) or Germany s Trockenbeerenauslesen (okay nobody can even pronounce that)--each still has customers but not in proportion to their excellence histories or rareness. Ice wine has fared a bit better. Though Germany is its birthplace it s prohibitively expensive there and it should be so difficult is it to make. Canada has helped keep the style relevant to North Americans utilizing their frigid Arctic air to freeze grapes right on the vine. That s the quick definition of ice wine in countries that can do so such as Germany Austria and Canada the wine is supposed to be made only from grapes frozen on the vine. Other countries (the good ol USA among them) have been more flexible averring that grapes tossed in a freezer differ little from those hanging off an ice-cold vine. Perhaps perhaps not. Grape juice from fully ripe grapes is sweet that s why grapes taste good and it s why yeast can turn juice into an alcoholic beverage called 46 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM your marks and plunk down a sizable stack of cash for German ice wine called Eiswein. Producers such as Diel Donhoff Loosen Richter Selbach Oster or von Hoevel are among the top ones though you may have to spend hundreds of dollars for a single bottle. Canada s versions are less pricey but no less impressive. With Riesling the language of Germany s icy greatness Ontario growers also use a grape called Vidal Blanc it is exotic like peach mixed with mango and usually costs less than Riesling. Inniskillin or Jackson Triggs make ice wine from red grapes too it is no less rich and powerful. Across the border New York State offers excellence but with less frequency than Ontario (blame climate change the producers do). Look for Casa Larga Glenora Knapp Standing Stone and Wagner among others. Across the continent Washington State offers some from Kestrell Cellars Pacific Rim or Ste. Michelle New Zealand (it s cold down at the bottom of the world) has lovely deft ice wine from Selaks. Even California rather warm to play the frozen game has Joseph Phelps Eisrebe. In truth you can find ice wine from lots of places. Ever since Randall Grahm of Bonny Doon fame created his Vin de Glaci re to describe his lush wine made from grapes frozen in the cellar lots of people have been at it. Missouri and Ohio each have many delightful examples some frozen on the vine and some not so much. Is there such a difference The price for the best may freeze you in your tracks but at any price you ll find enough flavor to bring a chill to your summer. HLM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 47 HERLIFE WINERY Weibel Family Tasting by b et h d os t al p hot ogr ap hy by d a ri o l eve n ti n i o f f 3 Stu d i o s T Owners Fred and Judy Weibel s passion for life good wine and enjoying both are immediately apparent in this Lodi gem. ake one step into the Weibel Family Tasting Room in downtown Lodi and you ll be transported into a wine lover s dream. Glass-topped tables gleam with medals of award-winning wines displayed ing room Judy will casually point out their Zsa Zsa Corner with a deft wave of her hand. And yes that is the famous actress and socialite Zsa Zsa Gabor who was also a spokesperson for Weibel s Green Hungarian wine once upon a time. The corner is complete with a down sofa pictures of the famous Zsa Zsa and plenty of glamour. People call in just to reserve this corner Judy enthused. Moving into the back hallway which is lined with old photos to provide a Weibel timeline Mrs. Weibel glows with pride as she describes the Weibels rich history from purchasing the original winery from the Stanfords (the very same founders of Stanford University) to their move into the Lodi area down to their newest crowning glory the downtown Lodi tasting room. If she didn t grab your attention on the way in Lois will stand out as another eye-catching feature of the Weibel Tasting Room. Judy introduces her with a grin And this is Lois A mannequin handpicked by Judy Lois has become the tasting room s mascot. Always dressed to the nines in her seasonal outfits Lois casually holds her personalized wine glass greeting all fellow wine tasters making their way into Weibel. The next time you re walking down School Street be sure to drop into the Weibel Family Tasting Room for an unforgettable experience filled with glamour hospitality and of course some excellent wine. HLM Please visit the Weibel Family Tasting Room at 13 N. School Street in downtown Lodi call them at (209) 370-6013 or find them online at under the glass. A glossy bar catches your eye (on which dry erase marker signatures doodles and wine ratings are HIGHLY encouraged ) and a rotating collection of retro or antique wine glasses and other baubles sparkle (available for purchase these always make great gifts) from a few display cases. Owners Fred and Judy Weibel s passion for life good wine and enjoying both are immediately apparent in this Lodi gem. More often than not you will also be greeted by Judi Baumbach s smiling face she s the Tasting Room manager. She and owner Judy Weibel have a history together starting as co-parishioners at their church transitioning to Judy s offering Judi a job continuing to Judi s working her way up the Weibel ladder and finally landing in their current roles employee and employer as well as fast friends. Ask anything about the tasting room Weibel wine or Weibel s rich history and the two will light up and immediately inundate you (in a good way ) with more information than is possible to process. Judy conveys an elegance that some people just seem naturally gifted with gushing warmth and hospitality and a true love for wine wine tasting the Central Valley and her extended family. She embodies the true spirit of the Weibel Family Winery and Tasting Room. As you wander through the tast- 48 48 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 49 HERLIFE FOODIES foodies Woodbridge Crossing Macaronage Macarons EAT GATHER SHARE We pride ourselves on being the best at all we do... Lunch dinner brunch special events cocktails and your location for live music every Friday and Saturday evening. Your second home 18939 N. Lower Sacramento Rd Woodbridge (209) 366-1800 For the newbies French Macarons are almond-based cookies sandwiching a concoction of filling flavors. They are light and airy on the inside and a little crunchy on the outside Macaronage Macarons make the perfect dessert table highlight at birthdays weddings and other special occasions. A box of these goodies also makes the perfect gift Open Tues-Sat 10am-7pm Sunday 11am-6pm and closed Monday. 7610 Pacific Ave Suite B6 Stockton (209) 955-0857 macaronagebygrace De Vega Brothers Italian Cuisine Happy hour every day full service bar and patio dining. Semi -private Banquet for all occasions. Catering for large or small events. Serving traditional Italian food Seafood Steak and Chicken. 5757 Pacific Ave. A140 Stockton (209) 323-4339 515 N Main St. Manteca (209) 823-0947 DeVega Brothers Thai Spices Chef Bun Khotakoon has long been captivated by the many ways to combine sweet and fiery spices to bring together flavors that mingle and enchant each other. Pair the traditional and monthly special menu items with a fabulous local wine or ice cold Thai beer to create a fascinating culinary experience. 2401 W Turner Rd. Ste. 224 Lodi (209) 369-8424 Towne House Towne House Restaurant at Wine & Roses is a legacy to the country farm it once was and our cuisine is made for sharing. We look forward to sharing with you the innovative dishes warm traditions and gracious service that is the Towne House Restaurant. 2505 West Turner Rd Lodi (209) 371-6160 Corner Scone Bakery and Teahouse Come visit our boutique bakery for some award-winning pie Featuring made-from-scratch daily scones hand pies quiches and other unique baked goods along with a monthly high tea service. We are also serving iced tea iced espresso drinks summer salads and lunch wraps for the warmer weather. We can accommodate special orders as well call or stop by to see what we have 322 N. California St Lodi (209) 747-3418 50 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Komachi Sushi A personalized Japanese dining experience catered to you and your taste buds. Choose fresh exquisite dishes both on and off our menu. Come as a customer leave as our family. Open Mon Thurs 11am 9pm Fri Sat 11am 9 30pm and closed on Sunday 307 S Lower Sacramento Rd Suite D Lodi (209) 334-3131 Vita Dolce Two Italian-Swiss sisters have combined energies to bring to Tracy a small cafe filled with high quality cookies panini s homemade soups fresh salads and delicious coffee. Topping off any time of the day would be a delicious scoop of San Francisco s very own Mitchell s Ice Cream. Come on in and enjoy some of the sweet life of Vita Dolce. 11 East 6th St Tracy (209) 834-1234 VitaDolce Whirlow s Whirlow s Tossed and Grilled specializes in build-it-yourself tossed salads cafeteria style or choose from excellent sandwiches burgers and full plate dinners. Don t forget to make us your first call for catering carry out and private parties for the holidays 1926 Pacific Ave Stockton (On the Miracle Mile) (209) 466-2823 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 51 HERLIFE TRENDSETTER 52 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM dee yates studios (209) 327-7164 photography by dee yates studio model molly brower hair and makeup amy brower clothing provided by GUESS of the promenade shops at orchard valley shot on location at the university plaza waterfront hotel 54 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 55 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 55 56 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFE FINANCE by l is a taranto butler to know about money what every woman needs N 58 o one said making money is easy and knowing what to do with it once you have it can be a bit overwhelming. When it comes to women and finances there seems to be a love hate relationship. I love making money but I just hate that I don t know what to do with it. banking or smartphone apps (can you say spreadsheet ) to review your accounts and carefully track where every dollar goes. The key is finding a system that works for you. Saving Just as you know you are going to get older you know you will need money in your golden years so start planning now. Even if you are a bit financially behind from what you imagined you would be at this point participating in a 401(k) plan or other type of employer-sponsored retirement program is a solid way to start saving money long term. Deferrals are set up as payroll deductions and you ll never miss the dollars. If you don t have a 401(k) option where you work or are self-employed consider an IRA to save for your retirement. Investing While deemed the most exciting part of finances by some the job of investing can leave some women fiscally flailing. Follow a few simple strategies to keep the cash flow moving and your financial future secure. Continued on page 60 All women single married working or widowed should have a basic understanding of money management. With a general knowledge of finances and the emotional awareness needed to overcome challenges we can achieve a long-term grasp on financial security and have a little fun while we re at it. Budget and Tracking Although it s not as exciting as spending or investing budgeting is the first step to keeping sound finances. If you want to save money knowing where your hard-earned cash is going each month sets the tone for the more fascinating financial decisions down the road. With that in mind how can you tell how much money you are truly spending unless you track it Use paper and pencil to review your spending or take advantage of one of the many tech-friendly tools such as online HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 59 Invest Directly. This can be as simple as buying a home or vehicle. Perhaps you would prefer to buy shares of stock or put your money in a CD. When you purchase assets directly whether it be property shares of stock or bonds you directly own your purchase and the income from the investment goes straight back to you. Purchase a Managed Fund. While you may not be ready for property or a portfolio of shares buying a managed or mutual fund offers a sound investment opportunity that is carefully managed by a professional. Typically a mixture of stocks bonds cash and other securities a managed fund is held by multiple investors and is a simple way for women to get in on the investing track. Emergency Fund Most experts agree that you should keep between three and six months worth of your living expenses set aside in an emergency fund in case of job loss or an unexpected financial issue. Depending on your situation you may need more or less. Even someone in extreme debt should have at least 1 000 saved to cover unforeseen expenses. Lending As much as we think money can t interfere with our relationships it almost always does. If a friend or family member asks you to lend them money consider the issues and make your decision on sound principles. Loan the money only if you re comfortable with the idea that you ll never see it again. And put everything in writing this is an absolute must for both personal and tax reasons. Borrowing As with lending borrowing can be just as harrowing. Before you borrow consider if you can take on the additional debt and if the product or service is absolutely necessary. Then determine if you can afford the purchase without having to borrow the money at all. If not make sure to do your homework to obtain the best possible rate and fees. Need Help No matter how much investigating and research you do financial decisions can be scary. Many people don t realize that hiring a financial planner can be a good investment. If you are unsure of yourself or find that you are letting certain financial decisions go unmade hiring a financial planner for even a few hours can bring years of peace of mind. Of course when it comes to money women can tackle this issue just like anything else. Combine a bit of research with your undeniable quest for getting it right and basic finances won t be intimidating but stimulating And it doesn t matter if you have a little or a lot. The important thing with money is to make a plan track the results and make adjustments as necessary. In the end conquering your fear of finances may be your most exhilarating reward. HLM Sources and 60 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 61 HERLIFE WORKING WOMEN finding the perfect balance by h o p e e . f e rg u so n the family business N 62 o one is more important than family. No one can grate your nerves Some folks can t wait to turn like family. bravely struck out on another venture--jewelry design and sales--with her husband. I had a very good experience working with my parents she said. They allowed me to learn from my mistakes and never made me feel guilty if I did something wrong even if my mistakes could have cost the company thousands of dollars We would analyze what went wrong and put procedures in place so that the mistake would not happen again. I worked in every department of the company so that I could learn the whole business. I worked next to my father and learned firsthand how to run a company and manage employees. When the time came for me to run the operations of the company I was prepared. Carrie Rosenblum co-owns the Children s Orchard an upscale boutique in Manhattan Beach California with her sister Cindy Kehagiaras and mother Carol Mintz. The best thing about working with my mom and sister is that we can always cover for each other and help each other out when we really need it she explained. If one of our kids gets out of soccer practice early we can always ask the family 18 to slip the familial bonds while others actually commit to working side by side with their relatives for all or part of their working lives. Take jewelry designer Esmeralda Lambert. For eight years Lambert ran operations for her family s retail bicycle stores and warehouse. She had such a good experience that last year she HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM member who s not at the store to pick him or her up for us. It s not something you can ask coworkers that you re not related to Yet there are also downsides. We never turn off work exclaimed Lambert. Because my parents my brother my sister and I all worked in the business every time we were together even outside business hours and on vacations we talked about work. Another pitfall Lambert said On many occasions my father would schedule management meetings during the weekend or late at night. Because it is our business we could not complain about having a meeting during our personal time. As owners of a family business you all wear 100 hats. You have to work harder than anybody longer hours and the success or failure of the company directly affects your family. Things can easily get emotional and quickly shared Rosenblum. Since we ve spent our whole lives together there are days when we get frustrated with each other and we may argue (yes there have been a few tears shed at the store) but at the end of the day we know we need to keep our emotions out of it. Carrie Enders VP of front office at the family-owned RE Suspension advised The number one rule we follow in our small family business is this No business no job no disagreement is worth more than our family. My father my brother and I work well together but it s certainly not easy. We are all stubborn independent thinkers and have definite opinions on everything. But each of us has learned to pick the battles we feel strongly about and each of us has learned to compromise--a lot. Before diving in make sure your goals for the business are clearly defined and in line with one another Enders adds. For example what is your exit plan if someone decides to leave the business What is your five-year goal Your ten-year goal If you re starting this business at home when do you move into a new space Make sure the expectations you have for each other are the same--work hours vacation days schedules roles and responsibilities. Who s going to take out the trash Who s going to do the bank deposit What time does the work day start One of the best things about owning your own business is the freedom and flexibility to be your own boss but one of the biggest pitfalls is that with family emotions run deeper and if one person feels another isn t pulling their weight resentments will certainly follow. Talking about those little issues up front can save a lot of headache down the road. Stephen Sheinbaum founder and CEO of capital funding provider Merchant Cash & Capital urges families to consider a succession plan prior to going into business. Small business owners often treat all of their heirs as equals even though the actual responsibility of inheriting a business will fall to one or a select few. Other business professionals recommend written and funded buy-sell agreements and exit strategies. For Rosenbaum togetherness trumps everything Most families only get to see each other on the weekends when they re not working but we are able to stay connected and up to date with each other even during the week. The store is like our very own social network. HLM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 63 HERLIFE SPOTLIGHT Rick Weeks OF DELTA FINANCIAL by re b e c c a f l a n sb u rg p h o to gra p hy by j u l i e n i c o l e p h o to gra p hy F resh out of high school Rick Weeks owner of Delta Financial and Insurance Services Inc. of Woodbridge knew he wanted to be either a chef or a financial planner. Both interested me greatly Rick shared. I love to cook and eat and was tempted to pursue a restaurant management degree after I graduated high school. I even worked at several restaurants during high school and college and I loved the industry. But investments and money management were something that had always piqued my interest as well. The more I educated myself on the topics the more I knew that being a financial services provider was what I wanted to do. I also liked helping people and I knew the investments industry would allow me to do just that on a daily basis. Plus I knew there would be fewer calories involved he added with a smile. Leaving his dream of restaurant management behind Rick began his educational journey toward a degree in finance at Sacramento State. He graduated with a finance degree in 1999 and worked for various financial planners including a firm called Pension Planners of Sacramento. where he primarily worked with educators in the retirement planning field. Within five years of receiving his degree Rick was ready to take the plunge and open his own agency. In 2004 Rick opened Delta Financial and Insurance Services Inc. in Woodbridge as a fully licensed and certified financial services provider. We are a small agency consisting of two other agents and an assistant Rick added. We offer services including educational seminars financial planning pension consulting employer-sponsored benefits such as 401(k) plans portfolio management for businesses or institutional clients portfolio management for individuals and or small businesses and security portfolios management. Since the first day he opened the doors to Delta Financial Rick noted that the clients he served came to him with some sizeable misconceptions. The biggest misconception people seem to have is that investing is complicated and intimidating he revealed. I also believe that there are others in my industry who make investing far more complex than it is. When I started Delta Financial I had a goal to make investing as simple and straightforward for my clients as possible. We talk normal people talk here and avoid big confusing terminology whenever possible. I feel our clients really respect and appreciate that. What Rick and his two agents strive for the most is not putting a square peg in a round hole when it comes to assisting clients. We work to find investments and options that fit our clients personalities Rick noted. When a client sits across the desk from me I always ask what they are looking for in investments because I value their opinion and want to discover their life or retirement goals. Everyone has different needs and everyone who comes to Delta Financial is in different stages of life. There is no cookie-cutter approach to investments and we recognize and honor that approach. What a 25-year-old conservative investor wants and needs is going to be far different from Helping to Make Investing Uncomplicated 64 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM When I started Delta Financial I had a goal to make investing as simple and straightforward for my clients as possible. We talk normal people talk here and avoid big confusing terminology whenever possible. I feel our clients really respect and appreciate that. what a 65-year-old aggressive investor would want or need. My agents and I work to tailor our clients investments to what works best for them not what works best for us. That same philosophy is a big part of Rick s personal life one of his core beliefs is that family is always first. A proud family man Rick his wife Kris and their three children Nathan Ashley and Lindsay enjoy quality family time whenever possible. For fun the Weeks family hosts many backyard barbeques in order to spend as much time with friends and family as they can. My family means the world to me and everything I do I do with them in mind he affirmed. Rick and his team are committed to showing appreciation and giving back to their clients as well. The Delta Financial team hosts a client appreciation event every year that usually involves a trip to one of the local wineries a catered gourmet meal and a live band. Another way Rick and his staff work to show their gratitude is by offering their clients a warm and casual atmosphere in which to do business and Rick admits that his clients know his door is always open. We try to instill that we are normal people just like you and we treat everyone who stops by with warmth and respect. What s the best part of his profession I enjoy that I can get out and meet people Rick enthused. I appreciate being able to visit or meet with different people in different parts of the state and I m grateful that I can take the time to leave my office interact with people and help them with their investing future. It s why I love to do what I do. HLM You may contact the Delta Financial team at 18815 N. Lower Sacramento Rd. Ste. B-1 Woodbridge California and (559) 222-7441 or (800) 726-2732. Rick Weeks offers securities and investment advice through Capital Financial Services Inc. Broker Dealer Investment Advisor Member FINRA SIPC 1550 E Shaw Avenue Suite 120 Fresno California 93710 (209) 339-4942. Delta Financial and Capital Financial Services are unrelated entities. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 65 HERLIFE REAL ESTATE short sales & foreclosures by ti n a v. sava s E month. endless. very day we hear news reports of an economic recovery. Employment is growing. Manufacturing is on the rise. The stock market is hitting highs. Housing is heating up. But for those of us who are still struggling this news is of little consolation especially when it s time to make the dreaded mortgage payment each Loan modification if you are faced with a long-term income reduction or increased ARM payments Selling your home Bankruptcy a viable legal procedure to offer you a fresh start (visit the U.S. Trustee Program) Other foreclosure alternatives if you have a Federal Housing Administration (FHA) or Veterans Administration (VA) mortgage you may have other foreclosure alternatives However if your loan servicer is not able to assist you in keeping your home you may be forced to give it up. These last steps are commonly referred to as short sales foreclosures and deeds in lieu of foreclosure. First let s discuss selling your house outright. Your loan servicer might decide to postpone any foreclosure action if your house is listed on the market or has a pending contract. Naturally you are completely out of the woods if the sales price will cover your loan balance at the real estate closing in addition to fees such as taxes insurance etc. Such a sale would allow you to avoid late and legal fees and damage to your credit rating and protect your equity in the property. A short sale occurs when you owe more on your home than what it s worth in your local market. In short you list your home with a real estate agent and your loan servicer takes less than the amount of your loan balance. Keep in mind that you are still involved in the process and will have to accept the offer too. Typically short sales are the first step to avoid foreclosure. They are complicated and the outcome is not certain. Furthermore your loan servicer is not under obligation to take a short sale and the Perhaps you ve lost your job or worse suffered an illness which is putting a tremendous strain on household finance. It could be that your mortgage structure isn t working for you because it is an ARM an adjustable rate mortgage that means just that it has changing rates that drive you crazy because it s difficult to stick to a budget. The reasons seem But if you are experiencing a housing hardship there are several options for your consideration. The first step is to contact your loan servicer and discuss your situation as early as possible. The longer you wait the fewer options you have. Even if you ve been turned down in the recent past it is still worth your time to call. There are many programs available and you may be pleasantly surprised with the Home Affordable Refinance Program (HARP) or the HOPE for Homeowners (H4H) program. For more information visit the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. Your loan servicer can also discuss how to avoid default and foreclosure. Inquire about Reinstatement if your payment problem is temporary Repayment if you ve missed a few payments Forbearance if your income is reduced temporarily 66 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM approval can take some time maybe months. But this approach does avoid having a foreclosure on your credit report. If you don t have other loans or obligations secured by your home a deed in lieu of foreclosure is another option for you. The home title is transferred to your loan servicer if they agree of course in exchange for canceling the remaining debt on your loan. You still lose your home but this is less damaging to your credit than an outright foreclosure. And remember that you will lose any equity in your home but under the IRS mortgage forgiveness rules the forgiven debt may be excluded from income when calculating your federal taxes due although it must still be reported. Check with the IRS or a trusted advisor for these rules. The final step would be foreclosure when the loan servicer takes possession of the home. This will happen if you fail to make the mortgage payments and have not exercised any other options such as a short sale. You are no longer a party in the sale as you would have been in a short sale situation. Foreclosures are not sold by real estate agents but auctioned at a sale at the local county courthouse. A last note you don t have to go through this process alone. Housing counseling agencies can look at your situation and help you with your loan servicer usually for free or at a low cost. Consider contacting the Homeownership Preservation Foundation (HPF) at 888-995-HOPE. HPF is a non-profit organization that partners with mortgage companies local governments and other organizations to help you get loan modifications and prevent foreclosures. HLM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 67 HERLIFE GREEN LIVING while you clean by k a th l e e n k r u e ge r keeping it green D o the everyday products you use to keep your house clean and healthy actually pose a health risk to your family and the environment If you re using commercial solutions that Survey found persistent detergent metabolites in 69 percent of the streams tested. The American Lung Association reports that exposure to chemicals from cleaning supplies has been linked to respiratory illnesses and occupational asthma and it warns consumers about the presence of volatile organic compounds or VOCs in many household cleaning products. Humans aren t the only ones at risk from these products. In most chemical-based cleaning solutions surfactants are the primary active ingredient. They re the stain-removing degreasing elements in laundry detergents all-purpose cleaners and disinfectants. Nonylphenol ethoxylates and octylphenol ethoxyl- contain chemical compounds and harsh abrasives the answer could be yes. Many of the most popular cleaning products on the market today contain hormone-disrupting chemicals that can cause injuries to the skin eyes and internal organs. As they re washed down the drain or flushed down the toilet they can also find their way into local waterways. In fact a 2002 study of stream water contaminants by the U.S. Geological Distilled white vinegar also kills mold and mildew cuts soap scum sanitizes cutting boards or counters and makes a great window cleaner for streak-free non-toxic shine. One-fourth cup baking soda followed by one-half cup vinegar allowed to work for about 20 minutes and flushed with hot water can help clear a clogged drain without moving chemicals into the water system. 68 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM ates are commonly used in this capacity if you want some serious technical jargon to look for. Both of these chemicals break down into toxic substances and don t easily biodegrade in water or soil. Many of these chemicals are also petroleum-based and can contribute to oil dependence. Changing your cleaning routine to include non-toxic and earth-friendly green alternatives is much simpler than you may realize. Also because so many of these methods allow you to replace several different chemical cleaners at once you re likely to net noticeable savings along the way. Hydrogen peroxide for instance is a great substitute for chlorine bleach kitchen disinfectants and bathroom cleaning solutions. Peroxide is equally powerful in terms of combating mold and mildew and it can easily replace chlorine bleach for laundry purposes sanitizing food prep surfaces and removing stains. Distilled white vinegar also kills mold and mildew cuts soap scum sanitizes cutting boards or counters and makes a great window cleaner for streak-free non-toxic shine. Onefourth cup baking soda followed by one-half cup vinegar allowed to work for about 20 minutes and flushed with hot water can help clear a clogged drain without moving chemicals into the water system. Abrasive cleaners can work wonders for stains but they are often packed with problematic chemicals. For a non-toxic alternative combine baking soda with a few drops of Castile soap. You ll see the same scouring properties without the dangerous residue. You may also want to consider replacing all-purpose disinfecting cleaning solutions with a homemade alternative. Just add one teaspoon of tea tree oil and two teaspoons of liquid Castile soap to two cups of distilled water for a quick and easy all-purpose cleaner. For a sweet scent you can even include a drop or two of your favorite essential oil. Lemon and lavender oils are especially well-suited to this purpose but be sure you re using pure essential oils and not synthetic fragrance oils. One of the best additions to your greencleaning arsenal is a stash of microfiber cloths. These versatile cloths are capable of whisking away even stubborn stains on hard surfaces HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 69 make ideal cloths for cleaning glass due to their lack of lint and make effective dusting cloths. They re reusable and long lasting making them an eco-friendly replacement for disposable paper towels. Instead of throwing away paper towels by the handful you can reduce paper use without sacrificing cleanliness. Because of the gripping quality of microfiber they re effective for dusting even when they re dry no furniture polish is necessary. Just be sure to choose cloths of good quality. When comparing microfiber cloths look at the microfiber thickness as it can range from one-sixth to one-two-hundredth the thickness of a human hair said Paula Davis independent Norwex consultant. Also check on how many washes they last and what kind of warranty or guarantee they offer. The thinner the fiber the more effective the cloth will be. If you aren t sold on the idea of making your own cleaning solutions there are a wide range of options available on the commercial market. Be aware however that misleading labeling is a continuing issue as demand for natural nontoxic products continues to rise. Brand names containing words such as green or eco aren t a reliable indicator of quality. Fortunately Consumer Reports does operate a website at that offers a breakdown of eco-logos used within the industry. This resource will allow you to decode the claims on labels and to determine if the products are actually regulated. Whether you choose non-toxic products from the shelves of your favorite store or decide to make them yourself you can start creating a clean hygienic home without risking the health of the environment or your family. HLM Sources and 70 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 71 HERLIFE HOME outdoor living spaces by m e r ri tt re th l a ke best buys for T he great outdoors greatest secret is that you no longer have to rough it to enjoy it. Outdoor living spaces are rising in trendiness thanks to beautiful and durable options that essentially give your home an extra room. Harness the rustic or missionstyle design of these living areas or branch out into a style A fire will forever be a gathering space for sharing stories laughs and everything in between. Information from landscape architects shows that 97 percent of consumers want to put a fire element in their outdoor living space. A fire element could be a fireplace fire ring fire pit table or any other fire feature. Outdoor fireplaces give you the luxury of creating a space that s homey and inviting while remaining elegant and chic. Choose a wood-burning fireplace for maximum warmth emission and memories of campfires past or go for a gas-burning option that feels just as homey and still allows you to roast s mores. Linear fire pits specifically are on the upsurge in outdoor living spaces due to their elongated and sleek builds that show off modern design. Looking to get away from the heat Replenish with drinks from beautiful beverage storage options and built-in bars. A small wine refrigerator can be easily added underneath an outdoor bar or countertop and its various temperature zones will keep your wine chilled as desired. Or opt for decorative wine racks built-in racks save space and add dimension to the counter base while a small artistic wine rack can sit upon the counter top and act as a helpful accent piece. These refrigerators come in a multitude of sizes and materials so you can choose one that best suits your personal style. And there s no need to sacrifice other entertainment necessities such as music speakers embellished lighting or luxurious seating. Yamaha PylePro Polk Audio BIC America and TIC are some manufacturers that produce permanent audio fixtures specifically designed to resist water heat and other natural elements however a portable Bluetooth speaker such as BOOM s water-resistant Urchin is a safe choice that that better suits you. Whether you plan to use this space to entertain or to relax you can add chic pieces and dynamic design elements that are out of this world...or just a step outside. When mapping out your space think not only of furniture pieces and accessories but also what will be under foot. While natural stone is ex- tremely durable it can be expensive so be sure to check out concrete options which are now in a wide variety of finishes that look luxurious while being affordable. These two options are also best for harsher weather conditions. Bricks and tiles may be arranged in the most decorative fashion but if they re not frostproof they will most likely require a sealant to prevent cracking. Remember to keep region in mind when selecting flooring as certain materials may be better in a specific climate. Natural stone concrete and tile are beautiful materials not only for flooring but also for counters. When selecting a material keep the overall design style of your outdoor space in mind and determine how you plan to use the countertops. Stone is great for wear and tear but stains can easily settle in so if you will have a grill built in or close by this may not be an ideal option as grease stains may find a home in stone. Concrete is a trendy option now with its contemporary look and durable functions. Tile gives you the widest range of design and customization options but you risk major cracks if you live in a colder environment. 72 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM still provides strong sound without your having to worry about electronics constantly out in the open. Feel free to go a little more fun with your lighting options for your outdoor space. Whether you re looking for small accent lighting or a bright light post be sure to select fixtures that screw together or have welded soldered or riveted joints as they will hold up against harsher weather. Attach string lights to a charming pergola to create a stylish outdoor escape. Rustic globe bulbs are trending and they are a beautiful accent to a pergola s wooden beams. Don t be afraid to use lower-watt bulbs not only is this level of lighting more romantic it will also keep your home from looking like a Christmas light display. Add a pergola to keep the outdoor wow factor yet create a more private enclosed area. Pergolas provide immediate protection and help create a dynamic living space. Cozy up underneath one of these structures with cushioned or canvas-wrapped furniture. These comfortable seating options give any outdoor space a refined and clean appearance. Laundry or dishwater detergent mixed with warm water can take care of most fabric stains but consider metal or wood furniture if you are weary of maintenance. With these ideas and your creativity you ll be enjoying your new multi-season room in no time at all HLM Sources HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 73 HERLIFE IN HER GARDEN p h o to gra p hy by j u l i e nicole p h o to gra p hy Olson Debbie n What do you do during the day I m the executive director of a public agency working on a federal property transfer. I am helping transfer property no longer needed by the military from federal to local control. I also do a great deal of community work. I sit on two local boards of directors Lodi Health and the Lodi Planning Commission and one national board of directors the Association of Defense Communities. local artisans and love the gravitas and simplicity in the size and the detail. All have an O for Olson in the design. IN HER GARDEN n What has been the most challenging part of creating your garden We redesigned the garden from formal and fussy to simple for several reasons. We wanted a design that would honor the grandeur age and style of our 100-year-old house but also be relatively low maintenance. The creeping fig that grows up the face of the house is a challenge to maintain it s a vertical garden of sorts. It s been growing on the house for well over 60 years and we wouldn t consider removing it but it requires (more like demands ) constant maintenance. It provides a beautiful backdrop for other plant material. n Who designed created your garden The front garden was done in collaboration and with great affection by Rosemary Stoebner of Garden and Green. The design elements were done at her direction and the plantings selected and refined over many conversations. n What has been the part you ve loved the most We loved working with Garden and Green and found great creative energy in the collaboration with Rosemary the landscape designer. n What is your favorite feature The planter boxes are very special. They complement and reinforce the use of repetition of the same plant materials in different shapes across the front yard--balls twists spheres and boxwood hedges. n What is the most popular area or feature of your outdoor space with family friends guests We often have requests from strangers to use the house as a backdrop for photos--family portraits weddings etc. The columns arches and n Why is this your favorite part The planter boxes were made by a local craftsman. We love supporting 74 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM greenery and the way the light moves across the house make it a beautiful backdrop. n What is your favorite activity to do in your outdoor space The world goes by one s front door. We often sit on the front steps and greet neighbors friends and family. We love that the front is both welcoming and well appointed. n If you had to give other garden enthusiasts one piece of advice in creating their outdoor space what would it be I think of a garden in the same way I do an individual s signature. Both are developed and stylized over years of practice. Its simplicity or flourish (or scrawl) become one s unique identifier and say something about you whether consciously or not. I d urge others to be thoughtful and practiced--it takes time to develop a signature or a garden n What are your future plans for your garden The front walk has planters on both sides that lend themselves to seasonal changing. I m looking forward to adding new plant material specifically for the holidays--cyclamen perhaps. HLM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 75 HERLIFE GARDEN Seed Saving wri t t e n and photographed by s har on filomeo b aker niggling at the back of the mind what I thought were Early Girls were something else entirely. Horror of horrors If they were Beefsteak that meant I would not feast upon a ripe tomato from my own toils until August But how could this happen to such an experienced gardener as myself I save and start my own seeds Did I accidentally mis-mark the baggies I have years and years of experience. I have roots. My father and his father before him--they were farmers. I had to ask myself am I really this great gardening guru who can so glibly tell others how to grow their own or am I just... a gardening imposter The task of seed saving appears to be gradually becoming a lost art. It s a lot of work and as even I have found over the years it s much easier to let someone else do the work of sowing the seeds with me just swooping in to buy the already established plants stick em in the ground water weed and watch em grow. (As I think about it now that scenario does not leave me feeling very connected to the whole circle of life thing.) But really this is not my best excuse to have become a seed-saving slacker. I am always afraid the seeds I gather will not by true but will turn into some genetically mutated monster veggie that can t be eaten or will overrun my whole garden. But if you are thinking about joining the ever-growing grass roots movement toward seed saving a little knowledge of hybridization can help you rest more easily. Hybrids are produced by cross-pollinating two varieties to 76 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM produce a unique variety and they are common in modern agriculture and commercial garden seeds. Seeds from hybrids often do not produce trueto-type that is offspring of hybrids do not maintain the characteristics of their parents. The International Seed Saving Institute online gives comprehensive instructions on how to grow and harvest the seeds of popular garden plants. However some of the techniques given are a bit complicated for the basic backyard gardener as most would find it somewhat difficult to plant their different genuses of cucumbers a quarter-mile apart to prevent cross pollination. But if you are ready to take up the seed-saving challenge and desire a more serendipitous style of collecting visit my website at You will find that my own simple albeit successful method of saving seeds has not evolved much past watching my grandmother snap off a few dried sweet pea pods and stick them in her apron pocket. So in the meantime what did I do while I waited patiently for those gigantic tomatoes to ripen Well a seasoned gardener always has a backup plan right Good thing I didn t pull out all those volunteer plants so at least I would have something ripe before Labor Day. Those plants may or may not be true Early Girls but they are allegiant annuals and produce a tasty edible fruit which slices cooks cans and freezes well so what more could I ask of Mother Nature This tomato season brought a hard lesson but I had to look for the silver skillet--when life gives you green tomatoes just fry em. HLM B ack toward the end of June I had a Green Thumb Identity Crisis. While my competitors were getting their first ripe tomatoes I was waiting patiently for the first green ones to tint. I ve always had a basketful by Father s Day but as they got bigger with no sign of changing color I had an ever increasing fear Green Fried Tomatoes I coat the slices in flour and My Awesome Simple Seasoning and fry in Corto Extra Virgin Olive Oil until tender and golden. My Awesome Simple Seasoning 1 6-8 oz. container of garlic salt from dollar store 1 heaping Tablespoon fine black pepper 1 heaping Tablespoon dried Italian herbs (I dry my own from fresh oregano rosemary parsley basil thyme sage and savory) Grind in small batches in coffee grinder until powder. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 77 HERLIFE FINE THINGS here s looking at you magnificent mirrors and gorgeous globes by l i sa ta ra n to b u tl e r look at it mirrors are a reflection of our taste and decorating style. While some mirrors offer a particular purpose such as a practically placed magnifying mirror above the bathroom sink other mirrors are clearly for decoration such as a breathtaking garden mirror ball or that ornate jeweled makeup compact that we only open for special occasions. Mirrors can show a happy reflection or a confused expression and they can make objects appear farther away than reality dictates. Besides being one of the most versatile accessories for decorating a home we use them daily for all sorts of sensible purposes. But there s more to a mirror than what the eye can see. Be it a reflecting ball or a crystal globe mirrors help us find a way to look a little deeper into ourselves. M irror mirror on the wall you look so perfect in the hall and in the dining room and in the powder room and in the gym. No matter which way you are the most basic and most manufactured while other mirrors suggest a fancier feel. Antique mirrors have dyes and coatings applied to make them look deteriorated with age while tinted mirrors are generally used for decorative applications in which color and diminished light reflection are desirable. Although it is sometimes used by artists and designers the highly fragile optical mirror is most often placed in cameras and kaleidoscopes. On concave mirrors the glass is curved inward and then coated creating enlarged reflections. But most mirror-gazing individuals prefer the look of a convex mirror where the glass curves outward making objects appear smaller. Historically a mirror was often called a looking glass. While it may have been considered a more poetic and romantic way of describing a mirror many years ago we do not often hear the words looking glass today. But it certainly sounds pleasant to the ears. Gazing Globes have been important to gardens and gardeners since the early 13th century both spiritually and aesthetically. Typically made of iridescent glass and either set upon a pedestal or lying among the flowers and plants gazing globes were first made by Italian artisans who crafted them out of mouth-blown glass. Many kings from the regions of France to the Netherlands demanded that gazing globes be placed in their palace gardens. The orbs were thought to have brought prosperity and good luck to those who owned one. These days gazing globes are made out of everything from stainless steel and glazed ceramic material to mosaic tile and glass. Sizes can vary from very tiny to about 22 inches in diameter with the most popular gazing ball being about 12 inches in diameter. They can perch atop a wrought iron pedestal or just nestle amongst the blossoms of a well-kept flower bed. Although the meaning of the globes has changed throughout the centuries the look is still just as treasured as when the first kings and queens adorned their gardens with them. Crystal Balls We might imagine a gypsy or psychic reader Mirrors Many types of mirrors abound and each has a various purpose and design. Clear mirrors 78 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Gazing globes reflecting balls yard balls chrome globes or lawn balls are usually one and the same. These shiny ornamental orbs gazing into her beautiful crystal ball to divulge the future to a dazed customer. Or perhaps we envision a majestic wizard rolling his wand over a sparkling globe to dispel the mystery of ancient oracles. Crystal balls have always carried a bit of secrecy and intrigue about them. Today we may see crystal balls as part of the popular Feng Shui form of decorating--the practice of arranging the environment so the energy or chi flows gently and smoothly through the home. Crystal balls are displayed to convey a harmonious calming energy in various spaces. If a house is prone to hosting arguments then a clear quartz crystal ball may be placed in the living room to help soothe the tension and clear the energy. Water As much as man-made things reflect our image so do the wonders of nature. One of the most serene and beautiful ways to view a reflection is simply in a shallow pool of water. Perhaps a late-day summer shower has filled a small spot of uneven pavement with rain and the sun allows a gracious glimpse of what stares into it. The reflection always remains the same. Mirrors offer a myriad of uses and an unending form of display. Although you may not always be able to find just the right painting or photo to hang in a stairway landing or suspend above your fireplace mantel a well-placed mirror or two offer a true glimpse of the home s character and the people who live in it. HLM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 79 HERLIFE TRAVEL volunteering vacations by ste p h a n i e f o x open to individuals and families with a range of interests and skill levels. These are not vacations on the cheap and while many can cost as much as a stay in a fourstar hotel the money spent helps pay for equipment facilities and staff for these non-profits. In some cases the costs are tax deductible (ask your accountant). Most of all altruistic vacations are a chance to help repair the world. And think of the stories you can tell your friends when you return Here are some of the best. Village program offers volunteer opportunities Volunteer at Archaeological Excavations For those interested in ancient civilizations instead of a day tour through already-excavated ruins get in (literally) on the ground level by signing on to one of dozens of archaeological digs offered by Biblical Archaeology Society. Join with archeologists in places such as Israel Jordan Italy Spain Turkey and Egypt to help uncover the past. Dig directors and professors are there to help train and educate volunteers. Excavations around the world accept volunteers through the Archaeological Institute of America. Some digs have set dates and required minimum stays costs can vary with college credit included for some digs. Accommodations can range from tents to dorms. Digs fill quickly so plan ahead. 1-800-221-4644 ext. 241. Build Homes with Habitat for Humanity Housing instability can mean frequent moves overcrowding and homelessness for many families and the result is often poor access to health care healthy food and educational opportunities. Habitat for Humanity s Global 80 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM in the United States in places such as Alaska Hawaii Montana New Mexico Vermont and the post-Katrina Gulf Coast. International building projects lasting one or two weeks are opening in locations such as Guatemala Paraguay Cambodia Malawi and Nepal. Lodging food sightseeing and group dinners are included in the price which varies by country and trip length but generally ranges from about 1 300 to 2 500. Volunteers spend a week helping build new homes which are sold to families at prices they can afford to pay. No construction skills are necessary. 1-877-434-4435. As natural disasters occur in the United States Habitat steps in quickly you may find immediate opportunities for involvement by contacting their office in your home city. Support Homeless Companion Animals at Best Friends Animal Society If you love dogs cats horses birds or even pigs and bunnies Best Friends Animal Society offers volunteer opportunities at their sanctuary in Kanab Utah. The no-kill shelter houses hunSave the Wild Places Through Sierra Club Outings Sierra Club operates nearly 90 service trips a year around the U.S. ranging from helping with research projects to working with forest managers restoring the wilderness. Training is provided by the Sierra Club. In addition to volunteer time service trip workers are given free time for explordreds of animals all of whom need care and love until they find their forever homes. Volunteers can help at Dogtown Cat World Horse Haven Marshall s Piggy Paradise and even a parrot refuge. The work isn t glamorous and includes walking feeding grooming and cleanup (pooper scooping). There are age restrictions for volunteers but while the grownups work kids ages six to nine can attend the fun and educational Best Friends Kids Camp. Volunteers can stay for a day or for several weeks. Reservations at guest cottages guest cabins at the RV site or in nearby motels are recommended. Some off-site lodging options give discounts to volunteers. 1-435-6442001. I f you want more from a vacation than a hangover and a tan consider signing on to one of hundreds of volunteer vacation opportunities across the country and around the world. The trips are interesting and enlightening and are ing on their own. Accommodations vary from lodges to cabins to tent camping. Volunteer groups are small but the Sierra Club maintains waiting lists. While many trips run about 500 per person (not including transportation) scholarships are available for volunteers ages 18 to 25. 1-415-977-5522. Learn About Other Cultures While Helping Sustain Them Families and individuals who want to discover a new culture but don t want to leave the USA can volunteer to work with the Anishinabe people at the White Earth Indian Reservation in northern Minnesota offered through the Global Citizens Network. The cost is 1 200 for an eight-day stay for adults (kids 15 and under are half price) including lodging meals and transportation from the Minneapolis St. Paul airport. The project was recently rated by as one of the ten best family volunteer vacations. Volunteers stay in communal accommodations and meet with tribal leaders. Projects focus on maintaining the culture of the tribe and can include gardening harvesting raspberries and wild rice (during wild rice season in August) or refurbishing community buildings. Time is set aside for day hikes through the Northwoods to where the Mississippi River begins or canoe and fishing outings in one of Minnesota s nearly 15 000 pristine lakes. The Global Citizens Network offers other in-culture volunteer opportunities around the world as well. 1-800-892-0022. HLM Websites fieldwork digs.bib-arch. org digs HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 81 HERLIFE BOOK CLUB next to love by ellen feldman review by k at hleen k r ueger secret. A secret that couldn t be shared with even her two best friends Grace and Millie much less her own soldier husband Claude. As we enter the pages of author Ellen Feldman s novel Next to Love Babe and her two friends have recently graduated from high school and the United States has just entered World War II. Grace marries Charlie and will be the first of the three to become a mother as well as a wife. When Pete and Claude boyfriends to Millie and Babe get called up to fight along with Charlie marriage proposals follow. Their little town in Massachusetts along with the rest of the country will never be the same. War changes things. Throughout the book it is obvious that Babe is the main character but the author often changes the point of view. As life moves on in South Downs after the war the author allows us to see through the eyes and thoughts of Babe s two friends Grace and Millie to widen our perspective. Each girl s perspective is colored by her personal background and upbringing. Babe grew up on the south side of Sixth Street South Downs 82 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM S he d always been called Babe even as a little girl. To introduce herself as Bernadette her given name hadn t even occurred to her until afterward. After she d been called a tease and she d been raped by the overly friendly soldier who refused to let her out of his sight. But that was her equivalent to the other side of the tracks. Millie came from the better side of town but she was orphaned young and raised by her aunt and uncle. Grace was of suitable stock to marry into the family of King Gooding the local banker a man of influence and prestige in their little town. When their bonds of friendship were formed in kindergarten the girls were oblivious to the differences in their lifestyles. Although the bonds remained intact into adulthood we see how the unique foundations of their lives affect their choices and perspectives in the situations that arise. Feldman uses the lives of this tight circle of three women to paint a picture of the cultural transformation that took place during and after World War II. We see the glory of war in young men s faces turn into the somber realities of battlefield deaths and minds traumatized by the scenes and sounds that can t be erased from memory. With a casual subtlety Feldman gives clues to the changes ignited by wartime experiences which heighten awareness of previously accepted inequities. Women who were invaluable to operations on the home front during the war are relegated again to their places in the kitchen at home. Black men who were allowed to risk their lives for their country are reminded that their status with their neighbors has not been elevated in any way by their sacrifice. Men are buried. New husbands take their place. Children grow up. Everyone grows older. Time continues on. The war has changed everything but it hasn t stopped the world from turning or life from progressing. In Next to Love we are given the privilege of peering behind the social fa ade and into the thoughts and phobias of individuals trying to make sense of post-war realities. We witness the beginnings of racial strife rising to the surface. We see women questioning the roles and responsibilities that society has limited them to. There are small ripples that unsettle the surface and continue to grow. Eventually they will be called the civil rights movement and the feminist movement. Next to Love is the story of a small town and the intertwined lives of a small group of friends and their families. With the three main characters being female it is told from a distinctly feminine perspective. There is nothing typical or expected in how their stories unfold yet women readers will find themselves identifying with the internal struggles these three women live with. One reader may identify with the grief-induced depression of Grace another the survivor mentality of Millie and still another with the self-medication of Babe whose loss is not publicly known or recognized. If you re looking for intriguing romance or intense wartime battles you won t find them in Feldman s novel. The flow is steady with only minor peaks of crisis. It is the quiet tide the normal ebb and flow of life in a small northeastern town during the two decades following World War II. If there is a heroine it is Babe who has never been refined enough to simply accept things as they are. After all she was the one who refused to stay in her place--on the south side of Sixth Street. HLM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 83 HERLIFE SHE SAID YES STACEY TOBY w ritten by marily n is aminger ph otography by julie nic ole p hot ogr ap hy and F numbers. or Stacey Broussard and Toby Damron the skies were exceptionally friendly when their paths first crossed on a flight from Hawaii to Sacramento. To further demonstrate that more than coincidence was at work in pull- ing them together Stacey and Toby ran into each other at the gym a couple of weeks later and exchanged Toby planned nicely for his special proposal on July 6 2011. We went to a romantic dinner at our favorite steakhouse Stacey smiles. On the way home Toby mentioned he wanted to stop at the store and pick up a movie. Instead of going to the store he 84 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM led me to the star-gazing spot where we shared our first date. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Of course I said Yes The two celebrated under the stars with a bottle of champagne. Toby and Stacey s unique and seemingly opposite natures create a wonderful sharing blend in their relationship. Toby notes As a pharmacist I m very science driven while Stacey is really charismatic because she s a wedding planner. We feel we make a great couple Stacey and Toby have set September 27 2014 as their wedding day. We re looking forward to having all our family and friends with us to celebrate Stacey shares. It will be especially meaningful since we moved to New Jersey in July and will be flying back home for our wedding in September. It will be so wonderful to see everyone and have a great party HLM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 85 86 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFE TIE THE KNOT Cassandra Murphy Skyler Ingemansson TIED THE KNOT AUGUST 24 2013 wri t t e n by marilyn is aminger ph o t o gr aphy by briggs phot ogr ap hy assandra Murphy 27 years old grew up in Stockton California and went to St. Mary s High School. She graduated from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo with a major in biological sciences and minor in psychology. Shortly after she went to graduate school and earned her master s degree in nursing. Cassie now works as a registered nurse at Mercy General Hospital in the cardiac surgical intensive care unit and picks up shifts at UC Davis in their ICU. Cassie and her new husband just moved to Folsom and bought their first house Skyler Ingemansson also 27 grew up in Marin County and attended Terra Linda High School. He graduated from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo with a major in biological sciences. A couple of years later he moved to Henderson Nevada where he received s master s degree in physician assistant studies. Skyler works in Sacramento County as a physician s assistant at Med7 Urgent Care. He has two brothers one of whom is his identical twin and a sister. Skyler enjoys the outdoors and playing sports. Cassie and Skyler met the first week of college at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo at their dorm s ice cream social. Cassie shares We were both biology majors and had all of the same classes so we couldn t get away from each other We immediately had crushes on one another and spent a lot of time together. We ended up developing a strong friendship that turned in to a relationship a few years later. Skyler chose the perfect weekend and setting for his proposal. Cassie smiles It was our anniversary weekend. Skyler took me to dinner to Papapavlo s one of my favorite restaurants that Friday night our actual anniversary. Then Saturday afternoon we went out to Point Reyes to hike down to the beach and have a picnic lunch. We spent a few hours on the beach just hanging out and walking along the water. We were just about ready to pack up and leave when he finally got the courage to propose and of course I said yes Later that night we drove out to San Francisco and were able to celebrate with some of our best friends The blissful couple tied the knot on August 24 2013. Cassie was attended by nine bridesmaids her sister Gianna Murphy friends Megan Berube Andrea Dommer Cheri Mann Annie Maghan Jessica Reynolds Chelsea Wiley and Nicole Zagaroli and her cousin Mariella Stie. Nine groomsmen also stood with Skyler his twin brother Bronson Ingemansson and their older brother Canaan Johnson his bride s younger brother Chris Murphy and friends Roy Center Anthony Gilmore Derek Hiler Ted Johnson Ivan Ranada and Marc Zosky. Cassie and Skyler were thrilled to host their wedding celebration at Viaggio Estate and Winery. We feel that Viaggio as a venue made our wedding unique they agree. We got to know the owners well and they did their best to make everything very personalized and specific to us as a couple and fulfilled our every request. Not only that the winery was gorgeous and there were so many great photo opportunities We had such a special time with all our family and friends there to share this day with us. The couple honeymooned on St. Maarten in the Caribbean Islands. Skyler reveals We wanted to go somewhere that we could relax and just be with each other--somewhere tropical We had both already been to Hawaii a few times and wanted to experience something new. It was wonderful HLM C 88 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 88 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM businesses that shared in the love bridal gown bliss bridal salon bridesmaids gowns bliss bridal salon hair styling trish sanchez indulgence studio photography briggs photography florist embellish floral design dj elite entertainment caterer viaggio estate and winery cake something sweet bakery venue viaggio estate and winery HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 89 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 91 HERLIFE SCENE AND BE SEEN Lodi Chamber Summer Mixer L 92 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM odi CDJR (Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram) dealership played host to the Lodi Chamber of Commerce s Summer Mixer Wednesday June 25. Chamber members enjoyed local companies tailgating on the lot with their booths on truck beds provided by Lodi CDJR along with excellent barbecue featuring local hot dogs and sausages. For more information about the Lodi Chamber of Commerce please visit For more information on Lodi CDJR and other events please visit HLM p ho to gra p hy by h e r l i f e sta f f E TH k As r fo I SH D EL CARNAUBA WAX NOW WITH The Valley can be tough protect your car with . HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 93 HERLIFE HOROSCOPE star journeys The first part of the month is going to see signs feeling sluggish and impulsive. This is due to several retrograde planets whose influence until the 23rd are going to make it necessary to check details twice not take chances and spend time with family rather than acquiring things. HLM by m e l o dy b u ssey Scorpio OCT. 23-NOV. 21 It s the last days of summer so enjoy Be careful of rumors that may be going around toward the end of the month and refuse to engage in the process. You may be feeling a need to add something to your life this month. Try learning something new. Taurus APR. 20-MAY 20 You are getting the bull s share of the energy this month enough so that you will find that your problems seem to take care of themselves. This might make you impulsive in the work sector and you should rein yourself in. This is also true in your love life. You are going to have a difficult decision to make this month in that area. Lean more on your feelings and not your logic to work it out. Sagittarius NOV. 22-DEC. 21 The retrograde will still be in full effect until the 8th of the month so do everything with some amount of caution. The 23rd is going to see the Sun passing across Virgo which is your career sector. This is a good time to move forward with proposals and new objectives. Gemini MAY 21-JUNE 20 Your work sector is going to boom this month especially toward the middle of the month. Make sure to invest for the long haul and prepare yourself psychologically for some big opportunities. Because of the extra energy you might tend to overdo it and burn yourself out by the end of the month so pace yourself. Capricorn DEC. 22-JAN. 19 A small financial glitch at the beginning of the month may threaten to derail you but rest assured it won t. Older family members may irritate you as they offer advice that is not warranted. Listen to yourself and if you can wait until the 18th then Jupiter will bring finances into alignment. Do not spend more than you make. Cancer JUNE 21-JULY 23 You won t want to but you MUST take the time to see things from all of the angles. Otherwise many of the decisions you will make this month are going to come back to bite you in the Spanx . After the 23rd your energy and clarity will return. In fact you may catch someone trying to scam you. Aquarius JAN. 20-FEB. 18 The full moon on the 6th is going to lend you the ability to make connections easily. Networking is going to be key for you during the middle of the month so make sure to put yourself out there. Think through all major purchases this month as the devil is lurking in the details and be cautious about traveling in unsafe weather conditions toward the end of the month. Leo JULY 24-AUG. 22 You ve been focusing all of your attention on others and the result is that your health may be feeling the effects. Signs indicate that identity theft may come knocking so make sure that you lock the door. Pisces FEB. 19-MAR. 20 This would be a great month to be cautious on the money front as Mars is going to exert its influence over you. It will make you irritable quicker to jump to conclusions and more likely to be impulsive. Conversely used wisely this energy can help motivate you to take action to make your future more secure and to set attainable goals for yourself. Virgo AUG. 23-SEPT. 22 Since July Neptune has been in retrograde putting a damper on your relationships but other cosmic heroes are coming to your rescue this month. The 7th through 9th of the month will see Venus working her magic bringing others to your doorstep. The Sun will get in on the rescue effort and by the 23rd you should feel positively radiant. The need to claim alone time will be strong this month but strike a balance between yourself and time spent with others. Aries MAR. 21-APR. 19 The beneficial properties brought about by Mars and Saturn will see your career s star shining especially on or around the 23rd. Note that your overall health is going to be affected by your state of mind so keep a positive outlook and stay well. Libra SEPT. 23-OCT. 22 Venus is going to make an appearance in Virgo this month lending you the ability to be very effective in your career. However this will also make the spendaholic in you come out. Don t give in to it but rather spend time with family at cookouts picnics and low cost mini-vacations. 94 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 95 HERLIFE CALENDAR august 15 Classic Car Show LIVE 23 Pacific Athletic Foundation s Annual Orange DATE August 15 TIME 6 00pm - 9 00pm LOCATION 374 Lincoln Center Stockton DETAILS Start your engines Lincoln Center s annual car show will feature more than 200 classic cars Rock out to live music by The Hot Rods RBX and Don Garibaldi. Visit or call (209) 477-4868 for more information. and Black Ball DATE August 23 TIME 5 30pm - 11 30pm LOCATION Janssen-Lagorio Gymnasium University of the Pacific DETAILS Participate in the Pacific Athletics Department s main fundraiser of the year This event will include silent and live auctions a main raffle and mini raffle dinner and entertainment. For more information please visit or contact Mike Becker at (209) 946-2591. 16 Solar Day DATE August 16 TIME 10 00am - 3 00pm LOCATION WOW Science Museum 2 North Sacramento Street Lodi DETAILS Learn all about the sun at Solar Day Build different solar-powered items make art with solar etching race solar cars and much more For more information please visit or call (209) 3680WoW (0969). 23 The Grand Theatre Presents Peabo Bryson DATE August 23 TIME 8 00pm LOCATION Grand Theatre 715 Central Ave Tracy DETAILS Come enjoy the Grande Theatre s Season Opening Peabo Bryson A two-time Grammy Award winner Bryson and his music have withstood the test of time Purchase your tickets today online at or call the box office at (209) 831-6858. 16 Moonlight Sip and Stroll DATE August 16 TIME 6 00pm - 9 00pm LOCATION Brookside Classics Heron Lakes Drive Stockton DETAILS Purchase your tickets now for the Hospice of San Joaquin Butterfly Auxiliary s annual Sip and Stroll Enjoy wine tasting gourmet treats and much more Proceeds from this event will go toward the Hospice of San Joaquin Butterfly Auxiliary. For more information please visit or call (209) 922-0380. SAVE THE DATE 6 Walk the Mile to End Lupus DATE September 6 TIME 3 00pm LOCATION Whirlow s Tossed and Grilled 1926 Pacific Ave Stockton DETAILS Raise awareness for Lupus by walking or sponsoring this mile walk Participate in walking passports to win a 50 gift card to Whirlow s win raffle prizes and enjoy live music by Mondo Mariscal and friends Visit SanFrancisco2014 Team4M or call (209) 406-2902. 22 Summer Concerts at Stonecreek Present Rachel Steele & Road 88 DATE August 22 TIME 6 30pm - 8 30pm LOCATION Stonecreek Village Pacific Ave & Robinhood Dr Stockton DETAILS Enjoy one of many Summer Concerts at Stonecreek Village Rock out to the country sounds of Rachel Steele & Road 88 Friday August 22nd. Be sure to visit or call (209) 474-1634 for more details and other concerts 17 17th Annual Power of the Purse DATE September 17 TIME 11 00am - 1 30pm LOCATION Gallo Center for the Arts 1000 I St Modesto DETAILS Help support the United Way of Stanislaus County Women s Leadership Council This year s speaker is Carissa Phelps survivor and now an attorney youth advocate and author. Registration is available through website or email. Please visit their website at power-purse email POPinfo or call (209) 523-4562. 96 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 27 Ironstone Concours d Elegance DATE September 27 TIME 10 00am - 4 30pm LOCATION Ironstone Vineyards 1894 Six Mile Rd Murphys DETAILS Come see the annual antique and classic car show with 300 antique and classic cars participating each year. Proceeds from the Ironstone Concours d Elegance benefit Central and Northern California youth in agriculture and the non-profit Ironstone Foundation which has helped fund the California State FFA headquarters in Galt scholarships in partnership with the California State Fair and the Calaveras County Fair Scholarship program. 28 5th Annual St. Mary s High School Olive Oil Festival DATE September 28 TIME 12 00pm - 5 00pm LOCATION St. Mary s High School 5648 N El Dorado St Stockton DETAILS Come support St. Mary s High School with tons of olive oilcentered activities Listen to some amazing musicians including the SMHS Jazz Band join in the 5K or 1 mile run and enjoy the variety of tasting food and market booths Visit for more details. All calendar event submissions must be received by August 1st for the September issue and adhere to our guidelines. E-mail beth herlifemagazine. com for guidelines or to submit entries. HLM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 97