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6 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 7 staff & contacts Publisher and Editor-In-Chief Kimberly Mullen kimberly 209-224-8810 For advertising information please call 209-224-8810 Kelly Moore kelly 209-200-1229 Vikki Sandor-Girolami vikki 209-629-5382 Editor Art Director Advertising Art Director Contributing Authors Marilyn Isaminger Cyndi King cyndi Elana Bell elana Adriana Brogger Melody Bussey Lisa Taranto Butler Patty Cook Hope E. Ferguson S.E. Filomeo Rebecca Flansburg Wendy Kristina Glaister Eunice Green Marilyn Isaminger Carrie Rowlands Johnson Katie Koonce Melissa Haines Lavin Kimberly Mullen Linda R. Price Merritt Rethlake Tina V. Savas Gail Silverstein and VeryCulinary. com Briggs Photography Dee Yates Studios Jon Michael Terry Photography Julie Nicole Photography S.E. Filomeo Studio Mohsoh and Wendy Kristina Glaister PO Box 2674 Lodi CA 95241 For advertising information call (209) 224-8810 Fax (866) 665-4499 Subscriptions are available for 20 (for 12 issues). Please go to or mail a check made out to HERLIFE Magazine to the above address. Advertising Information Account Executives Contributing Photographers To contact HERLIFE Magazine Subscriptions HERLIFE Magazine of Central Valley is operated locally by Kimstry LLC an independently owned and operated franchisee of HERLIFE Magazine LLC. To reach national headquarters call 913-402-6994. 2014 by HERLIFE Magazine. All rights reserved. Although some parts of this publication may be reproduced and reprinted we require that prior permission be obtained in writing. HERLIFE Magazine is owned by Kimstry LLC and is a free publication distributed locally and is supported by our advertisers. It is available in selected specialty stores doctor and dental offices medical spas hair and nail salons tanning salons public libraries and numerous other high traffic locations. Please call for a location near you or if you would like copies placed at your business. We do not necessarily endorse the views expressed in the articles and advertisements nor are we responsible for the products and services advertised. We welcome your ideas articles and feedback. 8 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 9 10 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 11 HERLIFE CONTENTS features 28 20 36 42 44 14 16 Welcome From the Publisher Spotlight Jennifer McNeil MD of Dignity Health Health Breast Cancer Decreasing Risk Through Lifestyle Choices Beauty All Clear Help for Your Skin Fine Things Designer Footwear for Fall Cosmetic Surgery Breast Cancer Awareness Inspirations Nancy Shaw-Elium 34 36 Design Trends 101 Fall Front Porch Display Mother s Perspective Make Your House a Hit on Halloween Spotlight Zeiter Eye Medical Group s Dr. Joseph Zeiter Jr. Home Live Large in Your Small Space Real Estate Buying a House Do Your Homework Garden The Next Generation of Gardeners Travel So Many Islands So Little Time 50 60 64 66 Trendsetter Flair Boutique Cravings Thai Spices Culinary The Whole Foods Trend Recipes Baked Rice with Sausage and Broccoli Bruschetta Scones Wine Restaurant Wine List Survival Foodies Green Living National Energy Awareness Month Save the Planet and Your Electric Bill 80 Spotlight TSM Insurance 82 Working Women Recognizing and Countering the Workplace Bully 84 Alternative Medicine The Role of Nutrition in Breast Cancer Therapy 86 Book Club The Silent Sister 88 Scene and Be Seen Wine & Roses Hosts a Decadent Affair 90 Tie the Knot Brooke and Adam 94 Horoscopes 96 Calendar 20 40 42 22 24 26 28 44 68 72 78 46 48 12 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFE WELCOME grace How do you call someone you have never met and ask them to be on the cover of a local magazine and share a personal journey with thousands of readers Oftentimes when reaching out to potential cover girls I feel nervous when making the first contact. Asking someone about a personal health struggle a devastating loss of a loved one or a cancer diagnosis is not always the easiest conversation to navigate. My first exchanges with our October Cover Girl Nancy Shaw-Elium started with emails then moved to a phone call which finally led to a lunch date where we officially met for the first time. Captivated by her beauty and strength I was enamored by Nancy s confidence her infectious smile her gentle voice and her fun-loving stories about her beloved parents and what it was like growing up with nine sisters. Like so many of our breast cancer survivors we have featured in the past Nancy was diagnosed in her late twenties. Unlike our previous survivor stories Nancy received her news in 1988 a time when a cancer diagnoses equaled death. Her young age of 28 years old was unheard of. She was the youngest patient many of her doctors had ever treated and the youngest woman in support groups looking for some commonality amongst other cancer patients. Devastation fear sadness and countless questions filled her mind upon receiving the news. Nancy shared with me her most personal thoughts and deepest fears of her journey through breast cancer. I listened quietly and tried to mask my tears as we walked through her diagnosis her treatment and recovery. How did I make that phone call Well I picked up the phone and Nancy did the rest. We talked for over an hour on an early evening in the late winter. Rain drizzled outside my window and it was almost dark when our conversation began. She made my job easy she led me through her story and her career with ease. By the end of our phone call darkness fell and I felt as though I had known Nancy for years. When I met her in person the simple elegance in which she conversed paired seamlessly with her warm smile. I am truly blessed to know this amazing woman a woman of grace Nancy Shaw-Elium. KEEPING WOMEN CONNECTED p h o to by stu d i o m o h s o h K i m b e r l y Mu l l e n Choosing a Handbag for Your Body Type Fall Looks from Flair Boutique plus... Kitchen Gadgets Starting a Family Are You Ready Fall Recipes On behalf of our HERLIFE Magazine family we dedicate this issue in loving memory to Melissa Galvin facebook Herlife of Central Valley twitter HERlifeCali melissa galvin Dancing Back into Lif e 14 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 15 HERLIFE SPOTLIGHT Breaking down barriers below the belt My hope is that someday we can discuss matters of the colon as freely as we discuss people medical to make issues smart involving the breast. I want decisions when it comes to their health and one of those smart decisions would be to not be afraid to speak up if they have any health concerns. JEnnifer mcneil md of Dignity Health by r eb ec c a f l a n sb u rg p h o to gra p hy by b ri g g s p h o to gra p hy 16 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Health topics especially our own personal health are sometimes the hardest conversations to have. But some medical issues are more difficult to address than others. Whether it s with a family member or a doctor discussing matters and concerns regarding areas down there are often shied away from because of embarrassment and shame. This issue is something Dignity Health St. Joseph s Medical Center colon and rectal surgery s Dr. Jennifer McNeil knows all too well. As one of the newest members of the hospital s surgical team Dr. McNeil is fully aware that discussing topics such as hemorrhoids fissures incontinence and diverticulitis can be touchy and intimidating for patients. I want people to understand that I completely understand their reluctance to discuss medical issues regarding their bottom area Dr. McNeil shared. It s a part of the body that no one likes to talk about. But I also want people to know that my work is the central focus in my life and I am here to help patients in any way I can. Basically my job is to help to remove bad things from bad areas in order to get people on a better path of health. is so much more than hemorrhoid surgery. It involves abdominal surgery laparoscopic colon and rectal surgery anorectal disorders cancer of the colon and rectum surgical problems related to inflammatory bowel disease and so much more. Special Care Provided at St. Joseph s After leaving Walter Reed Dr. McNeil spent 13 years practicing at a renowned private practice in Oklahoma before opting to make the move to California and put her vast medical knowledge to work at the Dignity Health Medical Group and St. Joseph s Medical Center. I am thrilled to be living in this beautiful area and even more excited to be closer to family Dr. McNeil affirmed. My partner of 15 years and I can spend more time with my mother sisters and nephews. I also feel fortunate to be working with some of the most amazing doctors and staff in the Central Valley region. I knew there was something special here when I joined the Dignity Health team. The people who work and practice here truly care about their patients so much so that you can feel it. It s one thing to say those words it s another to genuinely mean it and I know the team here at St. Joseph s does. Conviction about Her Career Dr. McNeil s journey to a career in medicine started with a determination early in life that helping people was something that she was destined to do. Being a doctor was something I just always felt I was meant to do she confirmed. There are no doctors in my family but my grandmother was a nurse. Pursuing a career in the medical field just felt like the right thing for me to do. Staying true to that feeling led her to the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences in Bethesda Maryland where she studied and received her medical degree. In the course of training several doctors introduced her to the prospect of becoming a surgeon which influenced her to do some further training at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. While training at Walter Reed my eyes and world opened up when I was in the operating room she recalled. When I chose the specialty of colon and rectal surgery again I simply felt that was where I belonged. This type of specialty Overcoming Concerns Dr. McNeil advises patients who are hesitant to discuss these issues to look at the situation with a new perspective. For those who are reluctant to have a conversation with a physician about their colon or bowel issues I encourage them to do so for the sake of their family if they are unable to do it for themselves. I feel that my purpose here at St. Joseph s Medical Center is to help break down barriers and make it easier for people to have a conversation about health concerns regarding their bottom. My hope is that someday we can discuss matters of the colon as freely as we discuss medical issues involving the breast. I want people to make smart decisions when it comes to their health and one of those smart decisions would be to not be afraid to speak up if they have any health concerns. HLM Visit to learn more about Dr. McNeil and St. Joseph s Medical Center. Dr. McNeil eases concerns for patients experiencing fear and reluctance in addressing the medical issues involving their bottom. One thing that I want people to know about GI tract or colon and rectal issues is to not be afraid. Do not be afraid to reach out to a physician or to schedule a colonoscopy especially if they are over 50 years of age or have a family history of color cancer or polyps. So much of the surgery that I do these days is laparoscopic surgery. This type of surgery is less invasive patients experience less pain and their recovery time is accelerated. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 17 18 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 19 HERLIFE HEALTH decreasing risk through lifestyle choices breast cancer by l i sa ta ra n to b u tl e r But what is a risk factor Anything that increases our chance of developing cancer is called a cancer risk factor. Since risk factors affect our chances of getting breast cancer a healthy goal would be to lessen the impact those factors have on us. While some risk factors such as a person s gender age or race can t be changed others are personal choices smoking drinking the foods we eat. Some factors influence risk more than others such as genetics while others such as aging and modifying behaviors can change over time. Of course breast cancer risk factors don t tell us everything but most experts agree that they are very important. So what do we do about the things that we CAN change Lifestyle Choices Make a Difference When it comes to cancer and just about everything else the choices we make have a profound effect on the rest of our lives. Much research shows that women who make healthy lifestyle choices W henever we hear the words risk factor our response is typically not positive especially when we re talking about breast cancer or any other disease for that matter. lower their risk of developing invasive breast cancer regardless of whether they have a family history of the disease. Exercise There s no way around it. We need to exercise. Regular exercise helps reduce breast cancer risk. And the American Cancer Society recommends that women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer exercise regularly (about five hours per week) to improve their quality of life and physical fitness. In addition women who exercise regularly after being diagnosed with breast cancer may improve their chances of survival. Body Weight Overweight and obese women those who have a Body Mass Index over 25 have a higher risk of being diagnosed with breast cancer compared to women who maintain a healthy weight especially after menopause. For women who have had breast cancer in the past being overweight can increase the risk of recurrence. This is mainly because fat cells make estrogen. Additional fat cells produce more estrogen and estrogen can make hormonereceptor-positive breast cancers develop and grow. Alcohol Drinking alcohol is linked to an increased risk of developing breast cancer and the more alcohol consumed the more the risk increases. Women who have two to five drinks per day have about one and a half times the risk of women who don t drink alcohol. Excessive alcohol consumption is also known to increase the risk of developing several other types of cancer. their first child after age 30 or have no children have a slightly higher breast cancer risk than women who started families earlier. Along the same lines studies suggest that breastfeeding may lower a woman s chances of getting breast cancer especially if done for longer periods of time. Hormone Therapy For many years women have been taking estrogen and progesterone often called combined hormone replacement therapy to relieve some of the symptoms of menopause. In 2002 the longterm Women s Health Initiative study of more than 27 000 women showed an increased risk of breast cancer and other diseases from HRT. However the risk seems to go back to normal over time once the hormones are stopped. Assess Your Risk Other risk factors also play a role in development of breast cancer but many are controversial unclear or unfounded. Knowing your risk and how it can affect you is a great head start. At the website women can use an online tool to help them assess their risk level by reviewing their health family history and lifestyle choices. Here women can learn more about their risk and seek recommendations for actions they can take to reduce it. And while in general we re focusing on women s risks please remember that men can develop breast cancer as well. Age high estrogen levels Klinefelter syndrome a strong family history of breast cancer or genetic alterations and radiation exposure are factors for men. Know Your Body Birth Control Babies and Breastfeeding Taking oral contraceptives can increase the likelihood of getting cancer slightly more than never taking birth control. The risk seems to go back to normal over time once the pills are stopped. Having children later in life may also have an effect on a woman s chance of breast cancer. Women who have 20 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Although we can t change some risk factors knowing and taking action on those that we can change is important. By being aware of our body and our life we are paving the way to survival of this dreadful disease. Why leave it up to chance HLM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 21 HERLIFE BEAUTY all clear help for your skin by h o p e e . f e rg u so n Women with darker skin in particular can have issues with acne and hyperpigmentation because their skin is easily prone to scarring. For example when I an African-American woman want to exfoliate I make sure not to choose scrubs or abrasive materials but concentrate on acidic exfoliation. I typically select products with alpha-hydroxy acids such as Derma E Overnight Peel which evens pigmentation and diminishes age spots. Salicylic acids are helpful for acne-prone skin and products such as the Aveeno Clear Complexion facial care line formulated with moisture-rich soy are specifically designed for blemish-prone skin. Some products in this collection also contain salicylic acid and work to clear and prevent blemishes. Board-certified dermatologist Dr. Kaleroy Papantoniou a clinical instructor of dermatology at Mount Sinai Medical Center who spether inflammation. Acne and hyperpigmentation are the most common skincare concerns for women said Dr. Joel Schlessinger a board-certified dermatologist and cosmetic surgeon president emeritus of the American Society of Cosmetic Dermatology and Aesthetic Surgery and president of There are always new treatments hitting the shelves that promise to improve blemishes and uneven skin tone. So how do you know which products will really work with your skin tone Dr. Schlessinger recommends products for acne that are formulated with salicylic acid such as LovelySkin s Luxe Clarifying Gel Cleanser that helps eliminate blemishes with 2 percent salicylic acid and exfoliates skin with 2 percent glycolic acid. Its gentle formula also reduces irritation and inflammation without leaving skin feeling dry or tight. With continued use the cleanser promises to fight acne and unclog pores for clearer healthier-looking skin. Using innovative stem cell technology NuGene NuLight Light & Bright Gel works to reduce the appearance of dark spots and excess pigmentation without the harsh ingredients found in some other brightening products. It works by breaking down excess melanin in the skin and reducing future melanin production. With regular use this treatment also helps improve overall skin radiance giving the complexion a more youthful glow according to Dr. Schlessinger. When asked for her view of the gold standard in treating these conditions Dr. Papantoniou said Gradual and controlled is the key to the treatment of acne especially in darker Hyperpigmentation can also be the result of melasma a darkening of the skin due to hormonal changes at pregnancy and menopause. Acne is caused by biological factors such as genetics and hormones causing oil-producing glands to become overactive resulting in dead cells and bacteria building up beneath the skin s surface. Effective treatments frequently require prescription medications overthe-counter products also may be used to clear acne and brighten skin. 22 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM M cializes in all areas of medical dermatology for any women from puberty to early middle age are plagued with acne. As blemishes heal they can leave behind scarring caused by hyperpigmentation. adults and children explains that treatment for acne must change depending on one s skin color and type. Acne treatment should be tailored in patients with darker skin types to optimize treatment outcomes. Unfortunately these patients tend to heal with hyperpigmentation or dark spots very easily even if they are not picking or disturbing the breakouts and this can be very stubborn to treat. Luckily many of the topical medications we use to treat acne work to help with evening out skin tone and can expedite the fading of old skin discolorations from acne lesions. We want to avoid using scrubs and aggressive exfoliation in these skin types as well as these can sometimes worsen the discoloration and lead to fur- skin types. The use of a gentle acne cleanser containing salicylic acid 2 percent with or without glycolic acid 5 to 10 percent can often help treat both the acne and the discoloration and because of the gentle exfoliation they will allow for topical acne creams to work better when applied. The topical prescription formulas with ingredients such as retinoic acid or azelaic acid also help to even out the skin tone and can work on the most stubborn of discolored complexions. A combination with a morning cream or gel for bacterial and anti-inflammatory control is also recommended for all skin colors and types. For moderate to severe inflammatory acne your dermatologist may want to treat with an oral antibiotic as well Dr. Papantoniou said. The addition of a lightening agent with hydroquinone is sometimes used if necessary and a series of chemical peels with salicylic acid can really help to decrease the treatment time and provide more dramatic satisfying results. For the most stubborn cases a fractionated laser treatment may be helpful as well. I would encourage patients to seek out treatment because there are so many ways to prevent and treat acne and hyperpigmentation. So ladies do not despair. There is a dizzying array of products and procedures that are easily found in your drug store spa dermatologist s office or online. I have already decided to pick up my AHA overnight peel right away. HLM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 23 HERLIFE FINE THINGS designer footwear for fall by l i n d a r. p ri c e F Boots all shoes are a combination of heavy-duty shoes for the changing weather and sleek elegant styles for the office and nights out. Everyone needs a basic wardrobe of shoes to meet these different occasions. Among the different styles you need are boots the basic black pump sandals flats and sneakers. But them for a well-put-together look. Contrasting the heavy boot with a long flowing skirt is a clever way to look chic. Pumps and Sandals The stacked heel is in again for dress pumps and sandals. Jil Sander created a lovely black suede three-inch sandal with a contrasting toe of black patent leather. The heel is stacked wood tones and the counter a warm honey. One of my favorite sandals was by Salvatore Ferragamo crafted of different skins (for example crocodile ostrich and snakeskin) in complementary shades of brown. Fur Many designers including Ferragamo Gucci and Fendi used fur to cover the foot or line their shoes for fall. The look s questionable to me some of the designs looked like you were wearing your cat. I can see you stepping on the fur from one shoe and pitching head forward. A neater look was presented by Dolce & Gabbana. Their red-heeled pump was trimmed stylishly in red fur. Even so this is a trend you can skip. Color Contrast Designers used color contrasts to highlight their newest shoes boots in particular. The basic boot is in one color and another color is used for contrast. Designers kept the contrasts to neutrals. Fendi used black and burgundy while Tom Ford chose black and beige. Jil Sander used dusty blue with burgundy and honey and a chic black-and-white combination that stood out. Sander also used a contrasting counter on many of her shoes. Metals This year the designers used metals for the shoe. Salvatore Ferragamo combined gold metal with black leather in a sandal with an ankle strap and who wants to limit herself to only five pairs of shoes Not me. Every woman needs both heavy-duty boots for the snow and ice and the sleek fashion styles to go with a pair of jeans or a dress for a sophisticated look. Patchwork was a major trend in different shoes and especially boots at the 2015 fall fashion shows. Etro showed a beautiful pair of knee-high patchwork boots in different tones of honey-colored snakeskin while Emilio Pucci fashioned a pair of short boots in different colors (white blue and burgundy snakeskin) trimmed with a wraparound cord of burgundy leather. Burberry took a different approach to patchwork. Their knee-high boots were freestyle patches of suede leather in different colors (beige and red patches) on a background of neutral dull blue suede. Dress boots worn with a sleek outfit were highly popular. Calvin Klein Marc Jacobs Altuzarra and Tom Ford all showed beautiful kneehigh dress boots in dark fashion-neutral colors. Some of the boots had the trending stacked heel while others kept the stiletto heel. Versace fashioned a beautiful thigh-high boot in lime green with a transparent acrylic heel. Emilio Pucci covered a midnight blue suede boot with goldembroidered astrological signs and a stacked gold heel. However Christian Dior stunned with an over-the-knee sleek red leather boot that took no prisoners. It simply slayed the competition. Another trend was the incomparable riding boot for day. Flat-heeled equestrian boots look sleek. You can wear your pants or jeans inside of 24 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM a stiletto heel on a one-inch platform base. He also combined gold and silver metals in an ankle-strapped sandal with a novel heel. The open toe box is of black leather. Both are unusual yet attractive designs. Prada combined gold metal and dove in the upper shoe with a dove-colored stacked heel. Men s Wear Designers favored black patent leather and plain black leather to create a wide variety of clunky menswear shoes for fall. Some of these oxfords and lace-ups have thicker soles than others. There is a wide range of grommets ties tassels kiltie tassels wing tips and top stitching. Mary Janes Marc Jacobs presented a charming pair of black leather sandals with ankle straps and an extra-large stacked heel. Donna Karan combined grey suede and smooth leather with a wide ankle strap and curved heel for one of the better-looking Mary Janes. Prada used gold straps across the instep on an icy blue Mary Jane for a classy look. To get the most out of your shoe wardrobe go for the classic styles and leave the unusual trends (fur for example) to others. Leather shoes for fall are expensive. The upside is that with good care they will last for several seasons. When you simply can t resist the fashion statement shoe try a classic black navy or grey. These colors never go out of style and can be worn with most of your classic and trendy outfits. HLM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 25 HERLIFE COSMETIC SURGERY NATHAN A. KLUDT MD UC Davis Trained Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery breast cancer awareness October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month which is an annual campaign to increase awareness of the disease. According to the American Cancer Society breast cancer is the most common cancer among women in the United States other than skin cancer. One in eight American women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. It is estimated that approximately 110 000 women who are diagnosed with breast cancer opt to have a mastectomy (surgical removal of the breast). Astonishingly 70 percent of American women facing surgery for breast cancer are not aware of the options for breast reconstruction. Breast reconstruction is a surgical procedure that rebuilds the natural volume shape and symmetry of a woman s breast after breast cancer surgery. While breast cancer can be a trying and life-changing diagnosis plastic surgical techniques for breast cancer reconstruction have improved significantly over the past several decades. Women facing mastectomy have a variety of options when it comes to breast reconstruction and post-operative results are better than ever. To Reconstruct or Not to Reconstruct Breast reconstruction is an option available to most women confronted with the physical changes following mastectomy. While breast reconstruction is considered elective surgery undergoing breast reconstruction can have profound emotional and practical benefits. It is also important to keep in mind that breast reconstruction does not interfere with the treatment of breast cancer or surveillance for recurrence. It can however help to enhance your confidence and self-image after mastectomy. The decision to have breast reconstruction is a personal one to be made by you and your loved ones. It is important to know that not all patients are candidates for all types of reconstruction. The type of reconstruction you undergo will be decided by you and your surgeon depending on your particular needs anatomy and previous treatments. Immediate or Delayed Breast reconstruction can be performed at the same time as the mastectomy (immediate reconstruction) or any time after mastectomy (delayed reconstruction). When the mastectomy and reconstruction are performed at the same time a skin-sparing mastectomy can usually be performed that saves most of the natural breast skin envelope. Only the actual breast tissue under the skin is removed. The reconstruction then fills this empty skin envelope. Implants or Tissue The major choice for a woman and her plastic surgeon to make regarding breast reconstruction is whether the breasts will be reconstructed with her own tissue or with breast implants. Currently in the United States the vast majority of breast reconstruction is performed with implant-based techniques performed in two stages (tissue expanders followed by permanent implants a few months later). Both techniques have their roles and neither one is superior to the other in all scenarios. Many women wonder what a reconstructed breast looks and feels like. Will it look the same as my previous breast Will it match my other breast Does the nipple have feeling Unfortunately while there are many techniques of breast and nipple reconstruction none of them will be able to give you back the exact same breast you were born with. It is important to realize that after a mastectomy the only tissue remaining on the chest wall is muscle and a thin layer of skin. Your plastic surgeon will be creating an entirely new breast from these tissues. The breast often feels and looks different from the original breast and procedures to make it look more similar to the opposite side may be needed. Despite these limitations most women who undergo breast reconstruction derive immense benefits from the procedure. These include feelings of regained wholeness and femininity as well as practical benefits such as eliminating the need for wearing a cumbersome breast prosthesis. As previously mentioned many women are not made aware of their breast reconstruction options when they are diagnosed with breast cancer. Many are also not aware that these procedures are covered by their health insurance. I strongly encourage all women interested in breast reconstruction to research their options and seek a referral or consultation with a plastic surgeon specializing in breast reconstruction. HLM Skin-sparing mastectomy and immediate breast reconstruction can produce a very natural result. Patients undergoing immediate reconstruction also avoid the experience of a flat chest altogether. Immediate reconstruction when possible is often the goal for patients with early breast cancer (stage I or II). In some cases breast reconstruction cannot be performed at the same time as the mastectomy. Reasons include advanced breast cancer (stage III or IV) inflammatory breast cancer plans for radiation therapy after mastectomy or lack of access to a reconstructive plastic surgeon. If you have questions or would like to hear about a certain topic relating to cosmetic surgery or skin care please email your questions to Kimberly 26 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFE INSPIRATIONS NANCY Shaw-Elium by rebecca flansburg photography by dee yates studio Shaw household and Nancy along with her nine sisters was expected to go to college despite the fact that their parents never finished high school. After being a part of a Special Olympics event in Arkansas she discovered the joys and fulfillment of working with kids with disabilities and she knew her heart and spirit belonged in education. Her teaching career began in Mississippi in 1982 but Nancy chose to relocate to California in 1985 along with her significant other Michael. Once in the state she began to work in San Joaquin County as a teacher of students with special needs. After a few years of living working and playing in the Central Valley region she and Michael decided to create a new business that offered behavioral therapeutic services in a group home setting. Michael also had a background in psychology and special education Nancy confirmed. Together we founded The Creekside Residential Care Facility that catered to clients age 18 to 59. It was wonderful and rewarding work but it was 28 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Never miss an opportunity when the door opens. N ancy Shaw-Elium always quite a juggling act working full time as a classroom teacher and also being hands-on with the group home. But it was a sacrifice I gladly made for four years in order to provide better services to kids with behavioral needs and their families. Nancy revealed that Creekside was a vibrant business for many years but a large part of her missed teaching kids. She decided to re-enter the teaching field and in 2000 her career shifted in a new direction and her professional life in the administrative realm began. In 2000 I had the opportunity to become a program specialist which involves being out of the classroom and learning first-hand what special education classroom teachers and administrators needed Nancy offered. I worked closely with and was trained by the State Department of Special Education on current laws new case laws and federal law changes that would impact and affect special education. I gained the ability to impact more than just one classroom of students and instead I was able to work with an entire school district. Though the job was filled with wonderful experiences and learning it once again took me farther away from my first love working with students. Nancy soon found herself considering a role knew she wanted to be a teacher. Education had a strong emphasis in the HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 29 as a special education consultant for the State of California. I still felt I wasn t close enough to the forefront of special education law changes or when new federal processes happened she noted. I wanted to be right in the thick of things and that only happens in the State Department of California. I applied for the position and after a five-month interview process I was awarded the job as a specialized consultant for the State Department in 2006. Several other opportunities followed including an assistant superintendent position at a school in Palo Alto and a job with the New Teacher Center out of Santa Cruz California. There was something my dad had always told me in his living years Nancy remembered. He told me to never miss an opportunity when the door opens. He advised that it may not look like an opportunity at the time but you have to be able to recognize that it is an opportunity even if you don t want to do it. Those words have stayed with me all through my professional journey and have helped to lead me to where I am today. In 2011 I accepted the position of project administrator for the Beyond Our Gates-Tomorrow Project at University of the Pacific and I am so honored to be a part of this vision for our community. Beyond Our Gates-Tomorrow Project was born out of a series of community forums convened by University of the Pacific President Pamela Eibeck. The goal of this ambitious campaign is to lift college-going rates in Stockton and the surrounding Central Valley by offering skills and resources to the region s most academically vulnerable children. The after-school weekend and summer programs that make up the Tomorrow Project build a network of sustained support to guide young people toward high school graduation and to prepare them for enriched and enriching lives beyond. The University of the Pacific has been committed to educational excellence for more than 160 years Nancy offered. The Tomorrow Project empowers a student s intellectual ethical physical social and spiritual development with the purpose of keeping them in school and working toward graduation. I oversee seven academic academies and it s an initiative I am incredibly proud to be a part of. Though Nancy s climb to success seemed virtually seamless to many in 1988 a life-changing event occurred shortly after her move to California. I have always been a health-conscious person she noted. I love to exercise and even still have some of my old Jane Fonda and Billy Blanks workout VHS tapes But in 1988 at the age of 28 I discovered a lump in my breast while doing a monthly breast exam. Not long after that I found myself in a doctor s office with the doctor sitting on his little stool hearing the words you have breast cancer. The shock of that statement was profound. I remember seeing the doctor s mouth moving but not hearing any words. I remember my sweetheart and me sitting in our car after that appointment crying our eyes out and trying to get our heads around that diagnosis. Back then cancer equaled death. It was devastating news for both me and Michael who was not yet my husband. Her treatment was a huge ordeal for the couple since neither had the support system of family in California. Michael was my rock and to this day I am grateful he stayed by my side during this journey Nancy shared. Before I knew it surgery day for my partial mastectomy was upon me and the days and weeks following my surgery were tough but together we made it through. The fact that Michael was so loving and supportive even though we were not married at the time reinforced the fact that he was the man for me. The reality is that body parts don t make the person they are simply a part of a person. I had my concerns that Michael would see me as less of a woman since I was missing a breast. Those fears were unfounded and we were married in 1994 it s been a wonderful 21 years of marriage 32 together. Breast reconstruction was not an immediate concern for Nancy and she found herself getting creative when it came to getting dressed. I used to stuff my bra on the mastectomy side with things like tissues or knee-high socks she shared with a laugh. Reconstruction was not a high priority for me until one day ten years later I was sitting in a group 30 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Professionally I am able to be a catalyst for continued learning and growth to the Central Valley region. Education is so important and there is such power in knowledge and learning. I am simply honored to be at the forefront of that movement. meeting doing a presentation. I was wearing a turtleneck sweater that day and kept noticing my assistant was subtly trying to tell me something. I ignored her and continued with the presentation. After everyone had left she led me to the bathroom and told me to look in the mirror. I looked and burst out laughing. One of my socks had escaped from my bra had inched its way up my chest and was peeking out of the top of my turtle-neck I can t even imagine what the people in the meeting thought of this growth coming out the top of my shirt but no one said a word. It was hilarious but I also realized it was time to schedule my reconstruction. Despite the hills and valleys of her professional and personal life Nancy remains optimistic and excited for the future. The love of education has been my guide virtually my whole life she affirmed. Following my breast cancer diagnosis I armed myself with knowledge and education during that time and even today I advise those who are newly diagnosed to do the same. A personal lesson I ve learned throughout this journey is that being diagnosed with and surviving breast cancer has been a blessing not a burden. I am blessed to have the best husband on the planet and the best family anyone could wish to be born into. Professionally I am able to be a catalyst for continued learning and growth to the Central Valley region. Education is so important and there is such power in knowledge and learning. I am simply honored to be at the forefront of that movement. HLM To learn more about The Tomorrow Project visit them on the web at HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 31 32 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 33 HERLIFE DESIGN TRENDS 101 Fall Front Porch Display wr it t en and p h o to gra p h e d by we n dy k ri sti n a g l a i ste r Elements of Design excerpted from Interiors An Introduction 5th Edition McGraw Hill 2011. HLM 34 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM To view the video tutorial visit Wendy Kristina Glaister Design on Facebook. Welcome to Design 101. In this month s installment we ll illustrate how design elements come together to create a festive fall front porch display. overall design. Textures present in our fall display are very intentional. We began with a simple wreath of leaves from Pier One. To achieve a fuller volume and appropriate scale we added two kinds of berries different-colored and shaped leaves grasses and ribbons. The video tutorial shows a progression of the wreath as the different textures are added. Space Our front porch has two principal areas available for decoration the front door and surround and the bench flanked by flower pots. The door area is asymmetrical with a large window to the left as well as the porch light. This leaves the area to the right of the door somewhat bare. To address this challenge we added a cheerful fall-themed canvas found at Home Depot. This extends the space visually and adds a sense of balance. Space was also maximized with the addition of an outdoor cocktail table providing an area for entertaining. Pattern Patterns or themes work in design to bring cohesion to the space. Our fall front porch display weaves three themes through the d cor Birds found in the canvas artwork on the bench pillow and the cocktail table. Burlap The ribbon in the garland the tablecloth on the cocktail table and the trim on the long bench pillow. Fall Leaves Repeated in the wreath the garland the canvas artwork the table topper and the fall bench pillows. Mass Scale If you watch our video you can see a demonstration of how important scale is to your design implementation. Often a garland purchased from a craft store lacks mass and that becomes immediately apparent when you place it over your door. To give your decorations proper mass consider combining two or more garlands over the door. Then add picks and sticks purchased individually of greenery berries etc. into your garlands and wreath increasing the scale of your decorations to an appropriate size for the scale of your front porch. We found our picks and sticks at Michael s. Light In an outdoor situation lighting can be just as important as in indoor applications. Here a coach lamp is the main source of lighting and a candle lights the romantic table display. Color Fall colors can get a little too orange for my taste so I work at adding greens to the oranges to make the display easier on the eye. The burgundy red and cream colors in the fall eucalyptus leaves are also a nice point of rest for the eye in the orange and brown landscape of fall decorating. Kelly Moore has done a beautiful job of pairing their new fall paint palette to our project with African Safari KM5387 Brickhouse KM4421 Dangerously Red KM5449 and Elf Slippers KM5154. Try something a little out of the box this year for your fall front porch d cor. Welcome guests with artwork full glorious garlands and wreaths and fresh potted flowers. Line Line is used by designers to give an impression of the space. Line is enhanced in our front porch display with the incorporation of the canvas artwork and the asymmetrical placement of the garland. Asymmetry is useful when you want to carry the eye to a destination and in this case we wanted the viewer to notice the artwork and the pot of coordinating flowers as a special detail. Kelly Moore Paints Texture Texture is the surface characteristic and appearance of every element present in the A member of the American Society of Interior Designers ASID and a practicing designer for over ten years Wendy comes to every project prepared educated creative and responsible. She strives to make your project a joyful experience resulting in a space you ll love. Winner Best of Houzz 2015. wendy 209.247.2730 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 35 j o n m i c h a e l te r r y p h o to gra p hy HERLIFE MOTHER S PERSPECTIVE make your home a hit on halloween by k a ti e ko o n c e L ooking for easy ways to make your house a neighborhood hit this Halloween night If you re tired of sitting by the door with a candy bowl mix it up this year and impress children from around Our annual disco Halloween has become a huge hit among parents and trick-or-treaters alike who love to boogie for candy. Of course even those who refuse to dance are welcome to the treats but performing a task as simple as dancing telling a joke or doing a few jumping jacks in order to earn that Reese s is much more satisfying than simply ringing the doorbell and reciting trick or treat for the 25th time. Hanging a pi ata from your porch or a tree branch in your yard is another fun way to interact with trick-or-treaters that is easy and sure to make your house a hit. Load the pi ata with candy and other small goodies. When trick-or-treaters come to your house invite them to try to break the pi ata using a broom handle whiffle ball bat or stick. You can decide whether or not to blindfold them but either way give each child one chance to break the pi ata and then allow them to pick a treat from a candy bowl. As the night progresses the pi ata will continue to become more damaged. When it is finally broken open allow all of the children at your house at the time to split the treats inside of it. Warning this may cause repeat trick-or-treaters. Make It Scary If you are looking for something a little scarier this Halloween try this next idea to make a low-maintenance candy bowl on the front porch more fun. Put the bowl on a side table next to a mannequin or other spooky figure. Place the fake ghoul s arm into the bowl but instead of putting the fake hand into it as well use your own hand. Hide behind the figure and when trick-or-treaters come to pick out their treats grab their hands for a good trick. This is perfect for giving older schoolage children a little scare. Use the element of surprise in another way to frighten older kids. Advance disclaimer this is best for more mature trick-or-treaters who are less likely to become too frightened from the surprise. Make your yard and house look as spooky as possible. There are numerous ways to have fun with this. Drape cobwebs around the porch and on the block with these fun ways to hand out Halloween treats. Make It Fun Too often trick-or-treating is repetitive and sometimes boring for school-age children. Make the middle and elementary school kids feel as if they have earned their goodies by requesting that they do something in order to pick their candy. For example as a tradition at my house we make children dance. Yeah that s right dance. Stay with me here for a second and it will make sense. The neighborhood where my family lived had quite a few children who were very young so instead of decorating our house with cobwebs and spiders my parents instead set up a disco ball strobe light and a stereo that blared music hits from the 70s. 36 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM bushes play a spooky soundtrack behind a mist machine add other creepy figures and decorations to set the mood. Then find an accomplice to help you execute the scare. If you have older children who feel they are too old to trick-or-treat they are perfect for this role. Have them hide near the walkway to the front door while remaining out of sight. Trick-or-treaters will already be cautious walking through the scary yard so help to calm their nerves while letting them pick their candy. As they turn to leave or while they are at the door have your partner in crime jump out to scare them. Make It Easy Finally if you would prefer to have a more low-maintenance Halloween while still ensuring the children have fun create a trunk or treat. Leave your car in an accessible central place in your driveway or yard with its trunk open. Fill the trunk with goodies. Use poster board to create teeth or fangs that will hang from the top of the trunk. Make a large tongue from a red plastic tablecloth and place it so it hangs out from the bottom of the truck. This will transform your trunk into a huge open mouth that children must reach into to grab their treats. Get creative with the mouth to make it look like a vampire or monster for a fun and very easy way to distribute candy. Make Halloween fun this year for trick-or-treaters and your family by changing up the way you hand out candy. Try one of these suggestions or create your own Who knows you might just begin a new Halloween tradition this year. HLM Sources and the experience of the author. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 37 L di Living HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 39 HERLIFE SPOTLIGHT Zeiter Eye Medical Group s Dr. Joseph Zeiter Jr. Three Generations of Eye Care Professionals by r eb ec c a flans b u rg p h o to gra p hy by b ri g g s p h o to gra p hy ract surgery. The practice has evolved over the years and now includes subspecialties such as glaucoma diabetic retinopathy and macular degeneration along with routine eye exams glasses contact lenses and LASIK surgery. Zeiter Eye has also become one of the largest eye care providers in Northern California with 14 doctors and 7 locations including offices in Stockton Lodi Manteca Tracy and Sonora. For those who are born and raised in the Central Valley Region the Zeiter family name is not only well known it is a name synonymous with quality eye care for patients of all ages. Zeiter Eye Medical Group has served the needs of the Central Valley for more than half a century by offering valuable ophthalmology services including refractive surgery and cata- A Strong History of Professionalism The legacy of Zeiter Eye Medical Group began 50 years ago by its founder and patriarch Henry Zeiter. Since then three other Zeiter family members have joined in the practice Joe Zeiter John Zeiter and Joseph Zeiter Jr. Keeping the family tradition of medical professionals Dr. Joseph E. Zeiter Jr. joined the practice in 2012 and has continued the practice s 40 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM choice of using cutting-edge medical and surgical technology to enhance the quality of life of patients who walk through their doors. Dr. Joseph Zeiter Jr. or Dr. Joseph as he is called by his patients is proud to be the third generation and fourth Zeiter to join this premier medical practice. He received his BS degree from the University of California San Diego and then completed four years of medical school at Wayne State University in Detroit Michigan. Dr. Joseph Jr. then completed his internship at the University of Arizona in Tucson and his residency in ophthalmology at the Kresge Eye Institute in Detroit in 2012. He finished a six-week externship to further sharpen his Spanish skills in Medellin Colombia before joining his family at Zeiter Eye. Leading the Way in Care My mission with this practice is the same as it has been for Dr. Henry Dr. Joe and Dr. John Dr. Joseph Jr. shared. I strive to exceed our patients expectations by providing unprecedented medical and surgical care with the highest degree of respect and consideration for each patient. We work very hard to stay up with cutting-edge technology and our practice became the first in Northern California to provide laser precision cataract surgery. Our patients are our number one priority and their care and satisfaction is of utmost importance to everyone here. What inspired Dr. Joseph Jr. to follow his family s path in the healthcare field I think it s very natural for a son to want to follow in his father s footsteps. I saw what a large impact my dad had on people s lives and that really inspired me to want to do the same. It was commonplace for my dad to be approached in public by past patients who were always extremely thankful and grateful for the care he had given them. Oftentimes they had tears in their eyes as they thanked him. That left a lasting impression on me and just reinforced the fact that I wanted to follow in his footsteps. Ophthalmology is an amazing medical profession that allows doctors to better people s lives in a very profound way and I m proud to be a part of that. My partners and I have been given the opportunity to give thousands of people each year the gift of improved vision and quality of life. We also offer our time to help hundreds of uninsured or underserved patients with free eye care and cataract surgery. That s something that we re very proud of. LASIK FACTS LASIK was developed and FDA approved in 1999. Since then the procedure has become effective safe and the option of choice for refractive surgery. Today Zeiter Eye Medical Group is one of only five ophthalmology offices in the United States to use the femtosecond laser in cutting the LASIK flap adding a new level of safety and protection. This method is a 100 percent blade-free approach enabling the doctor to create an individualized LASIK flap without a blade ever touching the eye. This treatment uses a laser to reshape the cornea which corrects refractive errors in the eyes. This precise process improves vision significantly in addition to shortening recovery time and decreasing post-operative discomfort. The treatment is so effective that millions of people undergo the surgery each year. Pride in Improving Patients Lives Dr. Joseph Jr. admits his professional life is very busy and very full but he also concedes he wouldn t have it any other way. Most of his days are spent doing everything from general eye exams to complex eye surgery. He is dedicated to the management of glaucoma diabetic eye disease and macular degeneration and to the improvement of his patients vision through cataract surgery. My partners and I have been given the opportunity to give thousands of people each year the gift of improved vision and quality of life. We also offer our time to help hundreds of uninsured or underserved patients with free eye care and cataract surgery. That s something that we re very proud of. From the very beginning the mission of Zeiter Eye Medical Group has been to serve every patient with respect compassion and individualized care. Thanks to one family s commitment that spans multiple generations this legacy of quality care is guaranteed to be available for many generations to come. HLM To learn more about Joseph E. Zeiter Jr. MD and the team at Zeiter Eye Medical Group visit them on their website at or contact them at (209) 466-5566. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 41 HERLIFE HOME live large in your small space by m e r ri tt re th l a ke S mall-space living doesn t mean you need to scrimp on style or furniture. Instead it s about keeping modern and functional solutions in mind when it comes to decorating a space with less square footage. Whether you re just starting out in your first apartment or downsizing to a modern minimized house now that the more constricting than it actually is. To diffuse this feeling opt for lighter tones that you can carry through the whole space instead of making a clear color division between rooms. This will help make the space appear larger and the consistency among light colors creates a calm balance throughout. It also reflects light more easily brightening your room even more. Adding mirrors to your walls will bring in light too. Mirrors are a relatively inexpensive way to create the illusion of more space while simultaneously acting as a beautiful accent. Using a reflective material such as glass is also a smart substitution for any wood or steel. A coffee table with a glass top for example keeps a room looking more open than a solid wood table. Downsizing or living in a smaller space also asks you to be a bit of a curator and editor. Because there s less room to work with consider becoming extra particular in the accessories and pieces you choose to display and have in your home. This is a great opportunity for you to determine which items matter to you most. It s also a chance to get creative with your displays. If you have a large collection of items consider snapping a few photos and creating either a gallery wall or collage instead of finding room for individual items. A key tip tiny space doesn t always call for tiny furniture. A mid-size sectional could be a better scale for your room rather than a sofa and an accent chair even if they have smaller footprints. Think about how you re going to use the room. Is it easier to have one larger piece of furniture or multiple smaller kids are grown up and gone there are a few tricks to maximize and make the most of your smaller space. Think vertically When you don t have the space to go around go up instead. Tall bookshelves or cabinets give you the storage space you need without taking up your elbow room. High-reaching furniture pieces will draw eyes upward and also help create visual interest in your space. Choosing to commit to a floor-to-ceiling solution is a great opportunity for you to go custom investing in built-ins or a small renovation could save you money (and headaches ) in the long run by creating a lasting solution that works instead of looking for a quick fix every few months. If a built-in or larger structure isn t an option wall shelving can be an equally successful solution. Shelves can be placed strategically on your walls climbing upward to save space. Place canisters or other organizational items on shelves to keep things such as letters bills and magazines off the counter. Shelves are also a great place for plants adding greenery to the room without taking up table space. Dark paint colors or busy wallpaper can make a space feel smaller and 42 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM pieces that you ll have to maneuver around When decorating any space make sure you spend some time with it before making any big decisions or purchases. It will help you understand how you use the room and what pieces will be best suited for it. And in doing this you may find a particular room is multi-purposeful. Tossing any visual barriers to the wayside can improve the layout of your space. Hanging your television on a wall instead of placing it in a bulky media cabinet or entertainment unit for example is an easy way to declutter that area of your space. And other times adapting to less square footage isn t about giving up entire furniture pieces but simply choosing a different version. You can still get the king-size bed but maybe not the tall headboard. The island in your kitchen may have to be a more standard shape instead of an all-encompassing U-shape. The dinner table you choose might have to double as the breakfast spot or be functional enough to host more formal meal gatherings. Other general recommendations include avoiding bold patterns or overly obtrusive furniture. The design and scale of certain furniture pieces can be overwhelming in smaller spaces. Solid colors are best for larger pieces but let bright hues and personality come to life with artwork and throw pillows or blankets. Artwork that features vertical lines is also a great addition to a small space especially if you re dealing with low ceilings. Hang the pieces above eye-level to create the illusion of higher ceilings. HLM Sources housebeautiful. com and Just your style Making your home a reflection of you. Your source for lighting ceiling fans and home accents Light Design by Hubbardton Forge McHenry Village 1700 McHenry Avenue 76A Modesto CA 95350 209.524.6287 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Shop Online at 43 HERLIFE REAL ESTATE do your homework by ti n a v. sava s money but if you ask the right questions and do some research you could potentially save yourself years of trouble both financially and emotionally. Create a Budget Assuming you have a budget for life s everyday expenses such as utilities cable and Internet you need to create another one to include the potential costs of homeownership mortgage payment (principal and interest) maintenance and repairs property insurance and property taxes. Buying a house requires a large amount of cash up front to cover closing costs and a down payment which ranges from 3 percent for a government loan from the Federal Housing Administration to 20 percent for a conventional loan. That s a lot of cash. Be sure you can handle the outlay. Moreover you need to have enough cash in reserve for emergencies 44 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Find Your House It s a good idea to get pre-approved by a lender to determine how much house you can afford which in turn will point you in the right direction. Now you can begin the process with a Realtor or on your own. If you are single it may not make sense to buy a five-bedroom house with a pool but don t ignore the possibility that you may fall in love get mar- buying a house A house is one of the most exciting purchases you will ever make. That s why it s important to do it right. Whether you ve hired a Realtor or have decided to go it alone do your homework before signing on the dotted line. Anyone can buy a house even a teenager if they have the such as an accident or job loss. And don t forget the deposits required to set up various accounts and utilities. Take note that when you re buying a condo or town home it s necessary to factor in the homeowners association fees and any special assessments. If you re young you may not mind if your house is a fixer-upper. And if credit is an issue that may be what you can afford. But keep in mind that repairs and home improvements still require money so prioritize your projects within your budget. Consider making a commitment to live in your new house for at least five years. Most of your early mortgage payments will be applied to the interest portion of the payment anyway so not much equity will build. Why not make your house work for you instead of the lender Hire a home inspector to do a thorough inspection of the house. Items will include electrical plumbing air conditioning heating appliances structural integrity safety issues windows roof basement drainage and other items. ried and have a family and be stuck in a down market trying to upgrade to a larger house If you re an animal lover a condo or a townhouse may not make too much sense. Once you find your dream home in the perfect neighborhood on the perfect street and preferably close to your job your due diligence begins. Study the house at different times during the day. Drive by in the morning swing by around mid-afternoon and at night. This will give you impressions to consider. Is there a dog barking incessantly when a car drives by Do you hear loud music next door to the house Is the street too busy for your taste Inquire about the neighbors especially if you have children. Will there be any children to play with nearby If you feel comfortable with your surroundings move to the next phase. Making the Offer Your offer and contract should let the seller know that you are serious but also firm about the condition of the house. Hire a home inspector to do a thorough inspection of the house. Items will include electrical plumbing air conditioning heating appliances structural integrity safety issues windows roof basement drainage and other items. Stand firm in your negotiations regarding issues your inspector finds. The seller knows unsatisfactory items will need to be addressed whether it s with you or with another buyer. Most lenders will require a systems clear before disbursing your loan. Remember to get a termite inspection as well. Typically the seller will furnish the inspection and may also transfer their current bond to you upon the sale. Your appraisal will come next. It s usually paid for by the buyer at closing and is performed after the inspection to give you and your lender the satisfaction that your house is worth the money you are ready to pay. If the appraisal comes back with a lower figure than you have offered you have some choices. Walk away from the deal or ask the seller to come down on their price. Some lenders will give you the privilege of going ahead with the sale but keep in mind that you may not be able to insure the house for the total amount you pay. Chances are if you have gotten this far your new house is close to reality and will close soon. Remember to celebrate Buying a house remains an American ideal. It s certainly worth a pat on your back when you cross your new threshold. HLM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 45 HERLIFE GARDEN the next generation of gardeners wr it t en a n d p h o to gra p h e d by s. e . f i l o m e o Sporting Vans from head to toe Jared may seem like just another nerdy teen with a retainer who rides his bicycle to school every day with his iPad tucked away in his Vans backpack. Although accepted and well-liked by his peers he is generally not comfortable in the presence of adults. Until you get him talking about his garden. Jared is just one of the students who took part in the annual seed and plant exchange this year at my continuation high school in Linden. In early spring I bring in a variety of vegetable and flower seeds as well as seedlings and pass them out to the most interested students. We document and photograph their progress as I offer suggestions and advice. This year the garden bug seemed to spread like Gameboy Fever as students like Jared came out of the shadows after noting the enthusiasm of their participating peers. Jared admits that he owes his newfound interest to his friend Aaron. I saw him taking seeds and I thought Hmmm (rubs his chin in characteristic Jared style) if Aaron can do it I can do it. Jared reveals that this was not his first garden-go-round. My parents have had gardens in the past but it was a lot of work for them since they both work full time. Not to mention that after my little brother came along they have even less time to take care of a garden. If gardening was not a priority for Jared s parents it became such after he expressed his interest. They took Jared on a plant-buying expedition purchasing tomatoes and peppers in addition to the ones I had already given him. He soon realized that he wanted to plant corn pumpkins watermelons and strawberries and he even started a little herb patch. After Aaron s plants were destroyed by the neighbor s dog Jared s backyard beds became somewhat of a joint project for the two of them. Aaron s family was not new to the gardening scene either but again the responsibilities of keeping a patch of green alive in the hot Valley summers can be quite laborious. Residing just a few doors apart the two boys tag-teamed the project and spent a goodly part of the summer watering weeding and harvesting. When asked about the process and progress of their efforts they laugh and joke in authentic adolescent fashion each denying that the other had anything to do with the project. But once they get serious it s obvious how much they actually relied on each other. If Jared was busy or out of town Aaron would take up the slack making sure the plants were well watered and the tomatoes picked and stored. I was actually there to get the first tomatoes and I ate them all myself Aaron taunts Jared who responds by telling Aaron he s full of it. After a few slapstick punches and several affable insults they settle back down to discuss the pros and cons of their endeavor. The boys both admit that weeding was not a priority this time but concede that weed control is something they need to work on next year. The weeds got out of control so next year I need to be more proactive Jared asserts. Aaron adds that they should have looked into some ground cloth or mulch to keep the weeds down. As for pest control Jared says the only serious pest he encountered was his own dog that would occasionally take out a pepper plant. They both proclaim that watering was the biggest chore but Jared says I tried not to mind it so much because it s just one of those chores that pay off in the end. And then the horseplay begins again. Jared you know you didn t water as much as I did Aaron blurts good-naturedly. As for that end pay-off Jared says his mom has already made plenty of salads and salsa with the tomatoes and peppers and he is especially looking forward to carving their pumpkins into jack-o -lanterns for Halloween. Although the dynamic gardening duo agrees that the joint experience was wholly worthwhile as well as educational they realize that as graduating seniors their paths will likely lead them in different directions. Jared says he looks forward to new gardening horizons in the spring but he may be on his own as Aaron plans to join the military. The kidding around finally ceases when I ask them what their gardening futures look like. Jared nods his head vigorously when Aaron asserts soberly You know Baker someday we ll have to grow our own food. HLM For daily garden goodness join me on Facebook Pinterest Instagram Tumblr and Twitter. 46 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 47 HERLIFE TRAVEL so many islands so little time by c a r ri e row l a n d s j o h n so n T he evening air blankets me with its reliable island warmth. I glance over the top of my paperback and gaze at the breathtaking sight that is the sun dipping below the horizon. I reach down ca is the largest of the Balearic Islands an autonomous region of Spain. With its Mediterranean climate and beautiful seaside location it is a popular destination for vacationers from all over the world and has provided inspiration for creative greats such as Agatha Christie French writer George Sand and Polish composer and pianist Frederic Chopin. Tourism is the largest source of revenue for this island. Even the members of the Spanish royal family spend their summer holiday in Majorca where the Marivent Palace is located. While the beaches are alluring as we found out first hand don t be afraid to dive right in to this historical city center first set foot upon farther back than 100 BCE. The architecture is historic grand and much of it immaculately preserved such as Bellver castle a Gothic-style fortress built in the 14th century for King James II of Majorca and one of the only circular castles in Europe. Next head to the capital city of Palma for inviting shopping. While there pick up a few strands of the popular Majorca pearls. Veer off the main streets and into the tiny alleyways weaving in and out of the city and check out a few of the many boutiques and specialty shops. Before your trip you ll want to transfer your dollars to Euros the currency on this Spanish island. Though many Majorcans speak Spanish Majorca s own language is Catalan. Take note drinking water is precious and scarce here. Fiji With its white sandy beaches soft coral reefs and year-round tropical climate Fiji is a popular destination for both romantic and family vacations. Fiji is an island country in Melanesia in the South Pacific Ocean made up of a cluster of more than 332 islands. If you like it hot avoid Fiji from May through October as the average temperature during this cool season is a lovely 72 degrees. In addition to scuba diving and sunbathing check out a few of the other tourist attractions such as the Botanical Gardens of Thursten in Suva Sigatoka Sand Dunes and Colo-I-Suva Forest Park. You may want to brush up on Fijian as it is the major language though many Fijians also speak English. You ll want to ask your bank about exchanging your American dollars for Fijian dollars. and scrape up a handful of the soft pure white sand flinging it playfully and watching it dance across my partner s chest fully intending to wake him and head out together for a walk along the serene beach the crystal clear turquoise blue waters lapping at our feet. Such is life on the island of Majorca (Mallorca) where we are staying. Vacationing on an island holds the promise of a vacation like no other. Refreshing tranquil waters bright clear skies white sandy beaches balmy temperatures and radiating sunshine provide conditions perfect enough to tempt tourists into basking on a towel the whole day long. But many islands offer so much more than comfy beach chairs colorful umbrellas and tasty fruit drinks. Majorca Balearic Islands The island of Majorca is located just off the coast of Spain in the Mediterranean Sea. Major- 48 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM U.S. Virgin Islands For an island experience that doesn t require an unfamiliar currency or language consider the U.S. Virgin Islands where the U.S. dollar is the official currency and English is the main language. Located in the Eastern Caribbean the average temperatures range from 77 degrees in the winter to 83 degrees during summer. Choose from one of the three U.S. Virgin Islands depending on what sort of character and activities interest you. In St. Croix the historic towns of Frederiksted and Christiansted feature quaint shops charming pastel buildings and refreshing cultural diversity. Horseback riding near 18th-century sugar mills and golf are also popular. Nature lovers will enjoy St. John of which two-thirds is a national park. Camping hiking and breathtaking views are all readily available. It s also home to the world-renowned beaches Cinnamon Bay Salt Pond Bay and Trunk Bay. St. Thomas is the most visited port in the Caribbean boasting one of the most beautiful harbors in the world. This island is full of energy and offers elegant dining exciting nightlife duty-free shopping and submarine rides. You re in for an experience if you rent a car in the Virgin Islands as motor vehicles are driven on the left side of the road. Whether you travel near or far a vacation on the islands is bound to be a rejuvenating relaxing vacation that tickles all of your senses. HLM Sources and the experience of the author. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 49 HERLIFE TRENDSETTER p h o to gra p hy by d e e ya te s h a i r by c h e l sey h o b b s o f po m p s a l o n m a ke u p by f aw n m a r ti n o f p o m p sa l o n m o d e l kaye bl a ke l y 50 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 51 52 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 53 54 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 55 56 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 57 HERLIFE CRAVINGS T h ai Spic es by ad r iana b r og ger p ho t o gr a p hy by b ri g g s p h o to gra p hy Lodi might not be the first place that comes to mind when you think Thai cuisine. Bun Goble owner and head chef at Thai Spices in Lodi wants you to reconsider that. Growing up on her family s farm in the Northeast region of Thailand Bun was exposed to delicious fresh foods and aromatic spices that she developed a deep connection to. Her family grew rice tapioca corn and other vegetables and herbs. Bun loved spending time in the kitchen and developed a genuine appreciation for the dishes she grew up enjoying. The smells of spices such as turmeric ginger lemongrass and cilantro that filled Bun s childhood can now be found in her Lodi kitchen at Thai Spices. Bun moved to the United States in 2001 from Saipan. She had moved to Saipan for work when she was 19. It was there that she refined her skills in the kitchen. Only six years later she opened her Lodi restaurant Thai Spices. She didn t have any friends in the area or know anyone who could support her new venture. But she trusted her palate and her knowledge of authentic Thai dishes. Bun opened her business in Lodi for sentimental reasons. Lodi reminds me of Thailand. All the farmers and the crops remind me of where I come from. I love Lodi Bun said. And Lodi has been very good to Bun. She has found the local farmers and winemakers to be very supportive. In fact Van Ruiten Winery was one of Bun s early supporters that helped spread the word about Thai Spices and encouraged others to try something new. I am grateful to the farmers who help support my business. When they told other people about me my business grew. Bun s food is fresh bright and delicious. She is committed to using the finest ingredients available. Bun told me 80 percent of her menu is gluten free. She asserted that while some people might be skeptical about whether her menu is really as healthy as she claims she has won people over once they try her food. People like that we offer healthy choices. We don t use MSG or preservatives in our kitchen. Everything is made fresh with the best ingredients. A misconception about Thai food being too spicy is one that Bun is quick to refute. My food is not spicy. My food has flavor from the spices. I can make it spicy or mild depending on what the customer likes or they can add it at the table. For this tasting we sampled a variety of dishes from both the lunch and dinner menus. The dishes were lovingly prepared by Bun herself. The presentation was absolutely breathtaking. I fell in love with the intricate and delicate Thai vegetable carvings that adorned each dish. 60 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Bun makes every effort to bring fresh local ingredients into her kitchen. She is committed to using the finest ingredients available. In fact 90 percent of the produce she buys is certified organic. Bun said I know there are other alternatives but I want my customers to have the best. A love of cooking and using her hands motivates Bun to continue creating masterpieces in the kitchen. But there s another reason that s very important to her to spread awareness about the importance of developing healthy eating habits to support a healthy life. Sadly Bun s mom died from diabetes. Bun wants to teach her customers that choosing healthier alternatives can make a big difference in the long run. For her part Bun swaps regular white sugar for coconut sugar. She encourages people to experiment with flavors and to try something new. I appreciate Bun s dedication to healthy food without compromising flavor and I know you will too HLM Thai Spices is located in Woodlake Plaza at 2401 W. Turner Road Suite 224 in Lodi California. You can call ahead at (209) 369-8424 and also find them on line at HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 61 Green Curry You can order your green curry with a choice of chicken beef or pork. We had the chicken. Whichever protein you choose is then simmered in green curry and coconut milk with snow peas bell peppers green peas and basil. This is an aromatic masterpiece The green curry dish has so much flavor but it s not too spicy. Pineapple Fried Rice Wok-fried shrimp and chicken are combined with fresh pineapple onion peas and carrots and topped with cashews. Call me crazy but this was my first time having pineapple rice it will definitely not be the last. I adored the combination of pineapple and cashews with the savory rice. If you are new to Thai food this could be a great place to start. Jungle Curry Scallops prawns calamari and mussels are saut ed in red curry with bell peppers green beans and pumpkin. This is a wonderful option for the seafood lover. My family really enjoyed this one and I love that it s a hearthealthy dish. Pad Ka Pow Moo This is a dish of ground pork saut ed in garlic sauce with onion and bell pepper and served with roti a tortilla-type flatbread. This is a flavorful option that I highly recommend. I love garlic and this dish did not disappoint. A love of cooking and using her hands motivates Bun to continue creating masterpieces in the kitchen. But there s another reason that s very important to her to spread awareness about the importance of developing healthy eating habits to support a healthy life. One of the Central Valley s leading proponents of all things multimedia Adriana Brogger has worked as a reporter blogger producer host emcee writer and actress performer in local media for more than ten years. She teaches Multimedia Production at San Joaquin Delta College and loves it Born in the year of the monkey Adriana has a clever wit and a magnetic personality. Seriously though she enjoys good comedy spending time with her hubby and four cute boys and of course great food. If you know of a local restaurant that would welcome a visit by Adriana please contact Kimberly Mullen at Kimberly 62 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 63 HERLIFE CULINARY the whole foods trend by p a tty c o o k A s the season heads toward Thanksgiving it s ironic to hear people complain about the amount of food they throw away. With consumers shopping for a bounty of fresh food it often means that wilted or spoiled items together with uneaten leftovers are tossed in the trash. small part of a whole animal fruit or vegetable. I doubt that anyone intentionally wastes food but in the United States somewhere between 30 percent and 40 percent of our food supply goes to waste each year. That equates to 20 pounds of food per person per month. Could it be that we waste what we buy because we rarely see the whole of what we re eating Yet some people are becoming mindful of what they purchase and how it is used. This goes beyond basing your shopping list on a meal plan. You can be intentional planning for Monday s leftover roast chicken to be used for chicken tostadas on Wednesday. However I am talking about something completely different a new way of thinking that goes beyond these smart shopping choices Farm-to-table nose-to-tail rootto-stalk cooking. So what is this new philosophy all about In fact it s not new at all it goes back to how food was produced just a few generations ago before industrialization brought changes to farm practices. It is best summed up by the old phrase Waste not want not. Let s talk first about the parts of an animal that we no longer see at the meat counter offal. It s no coincidence that this word sounds identical to awful. The word offal is derived from Middle Dutch words meaning off and fall essentially the off-fall from the butcher s block. These items pig s snout and feet organ meats such as liver and kidney beef tripe were not prime cuts but they were edible. Offal was not tossed in the trash it became known as the food of the poor. Today however these off-fall cuts of meat are finding their way to expensive menus at high-end restaurants in appetizers and main dishes featuring foods such as duck tongue pork belly pig ears beef heart or blood sausage. People who grew up on a farm or have experience as a butcher often learn to prepare and enjoy variety meats such as ox tails or beef tongue. It s not that they are more adventurous eaters they simply have more experience with the whole animal. If you take part in butchering any animal it creates a sense of respect for all its parts. There s an old farm saying that when a hog is butchered every part is used except the oink. That saying still holds true today what does not go into the meat case ends up either used in food products such as sausage cheese and ice cream or sold for use in a variety of industries including pet food cosmetics and pharmaceuticals. Will home cooks embrace the nose-to-tail cooking philosophy Perhaps. With farmers markets and farm-to-table CSA programs consum- The next time you shop observe what food is already cleaned and processed. Carrots are bagged in bite-size pieces celery is trimmed of its leaves. Broccoli crowns have had their stalks chopped off. Vegetables are shrink-wrapped in Styrofoam trays and fruit mix chills out in plastic containers. The meat case displays tidy packages of beef pork lamb and poultry. We look at the processed packaged goods as food and rarely think in terms of whole food. What we take home is often one 64 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM ers may have more direct contact with local farmers and butchers than they did say a generation ago. But it s easier to implement root-to-stalk cooking in daily life no matter where you shop. Foodies love using tender young beet leaves in salads or braising the outer leaves of lettuce and radicchio as a side dish. Anyone can toss vegetable peelings into a plastic bag in their freezer for use in the next batch of soup stock. Even the most shall we say mature carrots onions celery and mushrooms produce great flavor when added to soup stock in the last hour of simmering. After they re discarded they can be used yet again toss them into a compost heap along with less desirable scraps such as egg shells or coffee grounds. If you re interested in nose-to-tail root-to-stalk cooking explore your local options. Attend events such as Offal Wonderful in Oakland California that feature classes with craft meat-cutters. Or seek out a cooking school such as Haven s Kitchen in New York City which offers the opportunity to learn sustainable methods of preparing and cooking meats and seafood. Raid your refrigerator pantry and garden to simmer a rich vegetable broth from scrubbed chopped unpeeled onions carrots chard potatoes and herbs. These small choices can make a big difference not only in how you cook but also in whether or not your food dollars go to waste. Is there any better way to celebrate the harvest season all year long HLM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 65 HERLIFE RECIPES baked rice with sausage and broccoli Serves 4 Prep time 20 minutes Cook time 30 minutes ingredients 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 8 ounces Italian sausage casings removed broken into pieces 1 medium sweet onion finely diced 3 cloves garlic minced Salt and pepper 1 cups Arborio rice cup dry white wine 2 cups low sodium chicken broth 1 head of broccoli (about 6 ounces) cut into 2-inch florets directions Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Heat oil in a large heavy ovenproof skillet over medium-high heat. Cook sausage stirring often breaking up the pieces until no pink remains about 3 minutes. Stir in onion and garlic cook until translucent about 3 more minutes. Season with a dash of salt and pepper. Stir in rice to coat then add the wine bring to a boil. Cook until rice has absorbed almost all of the liquid about 1 minute. Add broth bring to a boil. Transfer skillet to the oven and bake for 10 minutes. Sprinkle the broccoli over the top and bake for another 10 minutes until rice absorbs most of the liquid. Remove from the oven careful handle will be hot and stir. Cover and let stand 10 more minutes. Taste and add more salt if necessary. HLM recipes and p hot ogr ap hy by ver y c ulinar y.c om 66 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM bruschetta scones Makes 8 Prep time 20 minutes Cook time 15 minutes ingredients cup almond milk (or whole milk) 1 3 cup extra virgin olive oil 1 cup spinach leaves finely chopped 3 large basil leaves chopped cup sun-dried tomatoes chopped cup green olives chopped 3 tablespoons crumbled feta cheese 2 tablespoons pine nuts 2 cups all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons baking powder teaspoon salt directions Preheat oven to 425 F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. In a medium bowl whisk together the milk olive oil spinach tomatoes olives cheese and pine nuts. In a large bowl combine the flour baking powder and salt. Make a well in the center and add the milk mixture with your fingers or a fork combine until moistened and just incorporated (do not over mix ). Turn out dough onto a lightly floured surface and pat into a 1-inch thick rectangle. With a sharp knife cut the rectangle on the diagonal into 8 pieces. Place scones on prepared baking sheet and bake 15 minutes until golden. Cool slightly before serving. HLM recipes and p hot ogr ap hy by ver y c ulinar y.c om HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 67 HERLIFE WINE restaurant wine list survival by m e l i ssa h a i n e s l av i n tionally sparkling wines are a great palate cleanser and excellent pairing with most appetizers or small plates. Interesting First Impressions As you review the left side of the wine list keep in mind where your favorites generally come from and you ll minimize surprises. Example California s Lodi Zinfandel has an award-winning profile of a dark spicy fruit-forward wine whereas Italian Zinfandel (not Primitivo) may be a more dry and lighter version of the same winegrape. If you begin with what you know the wine selection process is a bit easier. For example since award-winning Pinot Noir requires cool cozy fog and warm daytime temperatures with loamy soil you would not likely select a Pinot Noir from Colorado. Wine grapes thrive in their ideal settings. Some varietals that are food friendly overall such as Zinfandel Shiraz and Sauvignon Blanc grow in several regions throughout the world. Referencing the classic varietals and their favorite growing conditions can help you select wines you haven t yet tried. This is part of the adventure in wine sampling wines by the glass you might not ordinarily while you peruse our menu Would you like to know our specials So many decisions Before your arrival you may have learned what type of cuisine is featured at this restaurant and that could provide hints to the wine offerings. Spanish restaurants may carry Albari o or Malbec wines Dolcetto or Chianti may be on the wine list at Italian restaurants. Wine that complements the region of food is one of the easiest ways to select a wine winner. By the glass or the bottle the array of selections on the wine list can seem like you re required to make huge decisions. Is it better to select a 68 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Y purchase untasted at your retailer. What a great glass for 8 or do you commit to the entire 28 bottle serving four to six This often takes place before you ve selected your entr e let alone the appetizer. Navigating the wine list can be daunting even for most experienced wine lovers. Asking your server about special wine flights or wine pairings is one way to get started as well as asking them what their current favorite might be. This brings your server into your wine and food experience as a tour guide for your evening. Bubbles Whites Reds Blends Beers Cocktails Most wine lists appear in this order. Wines in each category appear by vintage varietal and then wine region or appellation. Bubbles sparkling wines or champagnes usually appear first as the restaurant likely has only a few selections. AddiContinued on page 70 SHOW YOUR RESTAURANT WINE ETIQUETTE BY -Calling ahead or asking the server right away about corkage fees -Confirming it s the bottle you ordered or brought when it s shown to you -Sipping and confirming the wine is to your satisfaction before sharing with guests -Asking the server to test the wine if you believe it to be off or corked. Wallet Palate When you choose a wine only for the price point on the right side of the menu you re likely to enjoy your selection if you keep some principles in way to try new varietals new winemakers or both ou ve waited all week to try the newest bistro in town and you re looking forward to your wine and food experience. As you re seated the questions begin Would you like water Any appetizers HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 69 mind. This applies to the bottle price also. A bottle of wine may be 18 to 100 at the restaurant why is this The restaurant may have wine distributors that bring select labels the owner may purchase case volume directly from a winery. Many costs factor into the price of that wine. Generally restaurant bottle pricing is at least double or triple the hard cost and wine bottles may net four to six servings. Maximizing each pour is essential. Once a bottle is opened wine interacts with oxygen and changes by the minute. The per-glass price is set to cover the restaurant s costs of the wine bottle in case it needs to be discarded. The owner ultimately wants to sell the bottle to reduce this chance of spoilage and the need to properly store opened wine bottles. For this reason sparkling wines are usually sold in splits rather than the bottle once a sparkling wine has been opened the rate of losing its effervescence increases. BYO Favorite Take your own select bottle although corkage fees may be charged. Restaurants invest in specific licenses to permit alcohol for their guests enjoyment. Alcoholic Beverage Control grants these licenses specific to a state and county. Restaurant staff will usually open and serve your bottle of wine for a reasonable fee. Offer the owner a taste of the wine you brought or perhaps share why this particular bottle of wine has a fun story or special memory. If the restaurant waives your corkage fee by all means add the fee to the tip instead. It s great wine karma HLM Source 70 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 71 HERLIFE FOODIES EAT GATHER SHARE 1924 Pacific Ave. foodies (209) 466-3683 Stockton CA 95204 Taps De Vega Brothers Italian Cuisine DeVega Brothers Taps craft beer house featuring 28 handles of locally brewed craft beers changing regularly. Delicious food in a comfortable relaxed setting stop by for a cold one soon Open 7 days a week. Happy hour every day full service bar and patio dining. Semi-private banquet for all occasions. Catering for large or small events. Serving traditional Italian food Seafood Steak and Chicken. Open 7 days a week. Sun-Thur 11am- 9pm Fri and Sat. 11am -10pm. 1924 Pacific Ave Stockton On the Miracle Mile next to Whirlows (209) 466-3683 5757 Pacific Ave A140 Stockton (209) 323-4339 The Hidden Tea Room Blend Ultra Lounge New to San Joaquin.. The Hidden Tea Room nestled in the heart of Lodi Experience an elegant high tea of fine food in a 5-course meal as well as a diverse selection of loose leaf teas provided by Corner Scone Bakery. Ask about booking the venue for your private party. High Tea served Saturdays from 3-5pm. Reservations required. Blend is a Restaurant Ultra Lounge in the heart of Downtown Lodi. Our cuisine is a Californian fusion with International influences accompanied by a local friendly wine list craft cocktails and 8 rotating beer taps. We offer DJ dancing on Thurs-Sat. after 10pm in a fun upscale environment. Open Tuesday-Wednesday 4pm-9pm Thursday 4pm-12am Friday-Saturday 4pm-2am. Sunday Brunch will start at the end of August from 10am-3pm. 115 S School St 13 Lodi (209) 334-2036 310 N. California St. 209.747.3418 The Shadows Steak House Towne House The Shadows Steak House Visit us for excellent drinks and some of the best steaks around and more Join us for dinner and stick around Friday and Saturday nights for our live band. Book Shadow s for your next special event or mixer too Dinner at 4pm bar opens at 3pm. 7555 Pacific Ave Ste 155 Stockton (209) 473-3200 Towne House Restaurant at Wine & Roses is a legacy to the country farm it once was and our cuisine is made for sharing. We look forward to sharing with you the innovative dishes warm traditions and gracious service that is the Towne House Restaurant. 2505 West Turner Rd Lodi (209) 371-6160 72 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM foodies Thai Spices La Palma Meixcan Cuisine Chef Bun Khotakoon has long been captivated by the many ways to combine sweet and fiery spices to bring together flavors that mingle and enchant each other. Pair the traditional and monthly special menu items with a fabulous local wine or ice cold Thai beer to create a fascinating culinary experience. HERLIFE FOODIES La Palma is a quaint authentic dining venue located in the heart of the Miracle Mile. La Palma specializes in superior Mexican cuisine such as Sizzling Fajitas Fish Tacos and Mole Poblano Enchiladas all of which come served with Spanish rice and your choice of black pinto or refried beans. Alongside an exquisite selection of local wines La Palma Mexican Cuisine boasts a full service tequila bar with more than 52 of the finest imported tequilas. Open every day for lunch and dinner. NOW BOOKING our new banquet facility that seats 64 comfortably. Call for further details. 2301 Pacific Avenue Stockton CA 95204 (209) 941-4179 2401 W Turner Rd. Ste. 224 Lodi (209) 369-8424 ThaiSpicesLodi HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 73 HERLIFE FINANCE 529 college savings plan by m ar ily n is am inger parents were ecstatic the scholarship in itself was a major accomplishment but with it they knew Suzanne s college experience and quite possible her grad school costs would be fully funded. That s because both Suzanne s parents and grandparents had done their due diligence they had investigated and invested in 529 college savings plans named for the section of the tax code that created them. Incentives for Saving Congress created these plans legally named qualified tuition programs in 1996 and all 50 states have established them. There are two basic types prepaid tuition plans and savings plans each state s program is somewhat unique. Any U.S. citizen or resident alien 18 years of age or older can open a 529 account. The individual who purchases the plan is the custodian and she designates one beneficiary per plan usually the student who will benefit from it. The custodian makes contributions which are not tax deductible for federal tax purposes (although some states allow a deduction) but all earnings accumulate tax free and withdraw74 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Multiple Advantages A student can have multiple accounts set up for her a parent or grandparent can also set up more than one account and can even set one up for their own educational expenses. And the custodian is not restricted to plan investments in their state of residence. It can pay big dividends preparing for higher education S uzanne was accepted to the prestigious four-year college of her choice and her academic prowess landed her a 50 percent tuition and room-and-board scholarship. Her als are also tax free when used for qualified educational expenses at any qualified college or university in any state. The custodian may contribute up to five years of the allowable annual gift tax exclusion currently 14 000 she retains control of the account and may change the beneficiary or roll the funds into another plan without penalty. There are no income limits for either the custodian or the beneficiary. The IRS states that contributions cannot exceed the amount needed to provide for the qualified education expenses of the beneficiary yet the rising costs of college and post-grad education make this a nebulous statement. A state s prepaid tuition plan differs from a 529 plan in that it typically requires the custodian or student to be a resident of the state. It allows a parent to purchase future tuition at today s rates and most states guarantee that the funds in a prepaid plan will keep up with rising tuition costs. The student is restricted to qualified institutions within the state and frequently the withdrawals are limited to payment of tuition and fees not room and board or other expenses. When and How to Use the Earnings The maximum tax-free withdrawal for most parents and students will be 100 percent of the beneficiary s qualified higher education expenses in the year of the withdrawal tuition room and board fees books supplies computer equipment minus 4 000 which is directed toward the American Opportunity Tax Credit. Based on its formula this credit is worth up to 2 500 in federal tax savings. The 4 000 adjustment must be made to prevent creating a non-qualified distribution from the plan. Take the withdrawal in the calendar year in continued on page 76 to investigate earnings and costs of plans in other states as it s a competitive market. Withdrawals from a 529 plan are not counted as income in financial aid formulas so this money has a smaller impact on the financial aid for which the student is eligible. Assets inside the plan are assessed at 5.64 percent of their value whereas other assets owned by the student are assessed at 20 percent in the formulas. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 75 which the qualified expenses are incurred at any point during the year but review the expense versus withdrawal numbers to make sure the withdrawal for each year is maximized. Also it s advisable to verify your individual situation with your tax professional to minimize any penalties you might incur with timing and withdrawal amounts. Signing Up The first step is to learn about the 529 plans offered in your state of residence to maximize any available state tax deduction through the directory of plans at This website tracks costs and performance of more than 100 plans available in all states plus other information such as asset allocation. Opening an account can be accomplished online with regular deductions made from your checking or savings like payroll deductions or you might be more comfortable working with your personal financial advisor. Remember that you are making investment choices and these should be compatible with your own comfort level with risk. Most 529 savings plans are invested in large widely held mutual funds managed by established companies such as TIAA-CREF BlackRock Vanguard and many others. An investment in education is one of the most important steps we can take. Why burden yourself or your child with student loan debt Avoid it by starting your 529 plan today. HLM Sources and 76 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 77 HERLIFE GREEN LIVING save the planet and your electric bill by k a ti e ko o n c e national energy awareness month day without using energy Energy includes anything that uses electricity computers lights appliances such as refrigerators and washers dryers air conditioning water heaters and much much more. Excessive energy usage is not only harmful to your electric bill but also to the environment. The production distribution and use of electricity is one of the largest sources of greenhouse gas emissions in the United States and about one-third of these emissions come from residential and commercial buildings. By reducing the consumption of energy in your household you can also help to eliminate harmful gases such as carbon dioxide methane and nitrous oxide from the atmosphere. This October before you turn up your thermostat to combat the chilly weather check out a few simple ways to save energy at home you ll help save the ozone and your utilities bill. Turn It Off Improve Insulation O car. ctober is anticipated and celebrated for a number of reasons. Children eagerly wait to wear their Halloween costumes and trick-or-treat while women pull sweaters and boots out of the ing used. Extend the habit of turning off devices at home to light switches TVs and game console as well. A game consoles such as an Xbox or PlayStation can use more than a refrigerator s worth of electricity each year if it isn t turned off or powereddown. back of closets. Pumpkin spice coffee returns and sweet treats are almost impossible to ignore. The leaves change colors and autumn is quickly ushered in. Oct. 1 also marks the beginning of National Energy Awareness Month in the United States 31 days dedicated to promoting energy conservation. Americans depend on energy to perform the majority of their everyday tasks. Think about the first hour after you wake up in the morning what are the first things you do Turn off the alarm clock or cell phone that is plugged into an electrical outlet in the wall. Next there s a nice warm shower followed by quickly blow-drying your hair before popping a K-Cup into the Keurig and running out the door to start your Don t get me wrong a shower and cup of hot coffee on a cool early morning are both necessities but these things like numerous other household utilities that require energy can really add up. Even if that isn t your morning routine could you imagine a About 42 percent of the energy used in the home during the fall is due to the continuous use of heating systems. In order to save energy and money on electricity bills during the cold months make sure that your house is properly insulated and all of your air filters are clean. Dirty filters block airflow causing systems to work harder and in turn waste more energy. Poor insulation is another cause of heat loss within the home. By checking for air leaks around walls ceilings windows doors and electrical outlets and switches it is possible to reduce heating bills by up to 20 percent. Change Bulbs LED light bulbs cost about 5 to buy at a home improvement store or supercenter but can save more than 100 over the bulb s lifetime. LED bulbs Turn off computers in your house at night and on the weekends when they aren t in use. A desktop computer that is constantly running can cost a household up to three times more a year than if it were turned off or put to sleep when it is not be- 78 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM use up to 85 percent less energy than regular light bulbs and deliver the same amount of light for much longer. Save Water Run your dishwasher only when it is completely full in order to conserve water. Also use cold water when doing laundry. Unless the load is full of extremely dirty clothes that require hot water use cold water. You ll save up to 50 cents a load and achieve the same clean. Unplug It According to the Natural Resources Defense Council up to 23 percent of the electricity consumed in homes in the United States is lost as standby or always-on vampire power when electronics and appliances are constantly plugged in whether or not they are in use. Unplug your cell phone chargers during the day and keep your toaster or electric toothbrush unplugged unless it is being used in order to save hundreds of dollars annually. National Energy Awareness Month is intended to raise awareness about the importance of using the nation s energy resources effectively and sustainably. Because using less energy decreases carbon dioxide emissions making your home more energy efficient has the same effects on the planet as carpooling recycling or planting trees. It also costs less to power an energy-efficient home. Basically saving energy within your home can also save the planet and your money. HLM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 79 HERLIFE SPOTLIGHT TSM Insurance An Innovative Approach to Insurance and Financial Peace of Mind A well-known Modesto institution for nearly 90 years TSM Insurance Services knows that Central Valley residents work hard to provide for their families protect their businesses and safeguard their homes. This longstanding family-owned business is currently under the stellar leadership of the father-and-son team of Tony and Guy Miligi. This leadership team is a shining example of families helping other families and they walk their talk when it comes to assisting businesses of all shapes and sizes. With a cohesive and highly trained staff of nearly 40 today TSM began with a single office in Modesto which acted as the headquarters for the 80 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Services of Modesto company and the place where most of their agents and staff worked. Looking to service the area better TSM later added an office on Coffee Road. Our main office is located on Oakdale Road and it houses most of our agents and most of our service team confirmed Nichole Parker TSM s Employee Benefits Agent and Marketing Director. But in 2014 we opened an office at 2605 Coffee Road. The goal of the new location was to be a full-service agency for an individual. By full-service agency we mean that an individual from adolescence to post-retirement age can come to us for medical insurance life insurance homeowners and auto insurance and much more. ing Medicare. Our Medicare agent Debbie Sousa has committed her time 100 percent to offering service support for our Medicare clients not as a pop-up service only during the Open Enrollment period like many companies and individuals do. PERIODIC REVIEWS ARE SUGGESTED Nichole shared that policy holders often subscribe to the if it isn t broken don t fix it line of thinking when it comes to insurance and they don t review their coverage needs as often as they should. Because policy changes can only be made once a year we advise our clients to take the time to review their current coverage to make sure no adjustments are needed due to life income or health changes. We want residents in the Stanislaus County area to know that if they have any needs or questions during open enrollment this is the time and this is the office to get those needs met in an informed and professional way. The atmosphere of respect and trust within TSM Insurance spills over into the relationships we build with our clients as well. We are a blend of old-fashioned values and relationship-based business just like business used to be done in the past. We also add a healthy dose of constant learning about the changing marketplace to that formula. THE VALUE OF RELATIONSHIPS TSM s continued goal of providing one place where clients can work to build relationships with the same agent all through their life events and changes has helped this company remain a leader in their industry without losing their hometown touch. This company is so family oriented Nichole concluded. The atmosphere of respect and trust within TSM Insurance spills over into Focus on Open Enrollment Open Enrollment is a time that many seniors and families in need of health care view with a mixture of relief and dread. The topic of health insurance can be confusing to many a fact that TSM s team is well aware of. We are rapidly approaching the months of open enrollment for health insurance and this is a very important time for our clients new and old Nichole observed. There are two separate open enrollment times one of which is specific to Medicare clients. The Medicare Open Enrollment starts October 15 and runs until December 7. Covered CaliforniaTM Open Enrollment which is the Affordable Care Act in California for private health insurance runs from November 1 2015 to January 31 2016. For both it is the only time of the year that policy holders can make changes to their existing coverage. As you can imagine this is an incredibly busy time for us but one that we welcome because we know how much our guidance can help those who need to navigate this sometimes confusing process. by rebecca flansburg photography by briggs photography COMPREHENSIVE COVERAGE FOR BUSINESSES AND INDIVIDUALS As a true one-stop shop TSM s specialties include business insurance and employee benefits such as worker s comp liability property auto bonds dental life insurance vision and 401k programs in addition to individual and family plans including home auto health life insurance financial planning and a very special one as well Medicare. Our Medicare department is a very important part of this company Nichole noted. It is a very special part of this business because our agents invest a tremendous amount of time and training into knowing all of the regulations and procedures regard- the relationships we build with our clients as well. We are a blend of old-fashioned values and relationship-based business just like business used to be done in the past. We also add a healthy dose of constant learning about the changing marketplace to that formula. The biggest thing about an agency of our size is keeping everyone not only cohesive in what they do but cross-trained to other departments as well. It helps us provide only the best customer experience to the people who walk through our doors. HLM To learn more about TSM Insurance Services visit them on the web at tsminsurance. com. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 81 HERLIFE WORKING WOMEN recognizing and countering the workplace bully by m a ri l y n i sa m i n ge r T he ability to work productively in a positive company atmosphere is taken for granted by many individuals leaders and employees alike who strive to create a successful workplace. in power control and protection of turf and will behave in ways that make others feel less powerful. The Performer suffers from low self-esteem and seeks to belittle others in obvious or covert ways such as name-calling or criticism. The Manipulator has only their own interest at heart is easily threatened and is an expert in lying deceiving and taking credit for the work of others. And as power exists in many forms a subordinate may bully a boss a client might exhibit manipulative behavior toward a company s representative an individual may covertly threaten a peer. The bully seeks a form of advantage over the target which may manifest in the threat to spread a malicious rumor expression of unwarranted criticism over work product or intimidation through body language among numerous other behaviors. Toxic Results Experts estimate that one in three individuals has been the target of workplace bullying. In a business culture that doesn t take steps to address the behavior it will flourish. Estimates are that businesses stand to lose more than 200 million each year in employee turnover decreased productivity increased absenteeism loss of morale and loyalty plus increased costs for workers compensation claims insurance premiums and legal fees. Bullying behaviors moreover often overlap with illegal behaviors such as harassment and bias. The effects on the health of a targeted individual are substantial as well. Along with a high level of stress and anxiety the target may feel a loss of self-confidence low self-worth depression a sense of isolation or uncharacteristic irritability forgetfulness or hypervigilance a feeling of constantly being on edge among many other responses. She may resort to substance abuse to counter these responses. Physical symptoms may include headaches loss of sleep exhaustion joint and muscle pain ulcers even skin problems such as eczema and urticaria. Take a proactive stance Bullying robs an organization of its most important asset the energy productivity and innovation of human capital. The elimination of these behaviors begins with leadership that actively recognizes and deals constructively to eradicate destructive actions. Steps that can be taken include Establish an anti-bullying policy that defines what bullying is and provides understandable examples of unacceptable work behaviors. It should state that the workplace recognizes the right of all employees to work in an atmosphere free from bullying. Set up a system to conduct neutral surveys that are sent to a third party for review with guaranteed confidentiality. This gives employ- However the existence of workplace bully- ing and its subtle but pernicious version mobbing can threaten to destroy innovation productivity and emotional well-being in the workplaces that fail to recognize and deal with it. Bullying is conduct that cannot be objectively justified by a reasonable code of conduct and whose...effect is to threaten undermine constrain humiliate or harm another person or their property reputation self-esteem self-confidence or ability to perform cites the Tim Field Foundation in a current definition. Mobbing may be treated by researchers of workplace conflict as synonymous with bullying but generally the two words indicate different types of aggression. Bullying suggests a belligerent hostile individual whereas mobbing describes a group of individuals at any level who gang up on a peer manager or subordinate and create a hostile environment in usually nonviolent ways. Identify the behavior Bullying actions may be overt or subtle. Dr. Harvey Hornstein notes that bullies generally fall into three categories. The Conqueror is interested 82 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM ees the freedom to fully describe what they may experience. Provide procedures for reporting investigation and mediation including the assurance that there will not be retaliation against a person who reports unwanted behaviors. Train employees to be certain that all are aware of their responsibility to behave in a professional courteous and effective manner. Leaders should reinforce their support and demand zero tolerance for bullying behaviors. Your Action if Targeted Without support it can be extremely difficult for a targeted individual to deal with a bullying situation. If you feel that you re a target be aware of your stress levels and monitor your own mental health. Document what occurs contemporaneously keep emails and memos that may be evidence. If the actions occur in private try to record it on a smartphone. Maintain control and resist any provocation do your best to act reasonably and create a contrast between your behavior and the bully s. Remember that your actions could one day be part of a court procedure and maintain your professionalism. Ultimately these actions may not be enough and it may be in your best interest to leave the workplace situation. You can choose to leave on your own terms with your dignity intact taking the opportunity to find a better situation that recognizes your unique human capital. HLM Sources kwesthues. com and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 83 HERLIFE ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE the role of nutrition in breast cancer therapy by e u n i c e gre e n Hearing the news that you have breast cancer can be one of the most devastating moments of one s life. There is a feeling of helplessness and frustration that something has happened to you that you have no control over. Then there are a multitude of decisions to make as to what type of treatment you will undertake. Hearing conflicting opinions from various doctors and from family and friends who might be giving advice based on emotion rather than facts can become quite daunting and the confusion can aggravate the sense of helplessness and loss of control. One of the areas that can help in taking some of the control back is nutrition. Making some significant diet changes can assist mentally as well as physically. Just the idea that you are taking control of a part of your therapy can give you a sense of purpose. Hippocrates the father of medicine years ago made the connection between food and how it can heal the body. Food truly is the foundation of our health. It is what fuels our cells and organs. If we ingest toxic foods that contributes to the toxicity in our bodies. If we fuel our bodies with foods that are alive and full of nutrients those cells and organs will respond with aliveness and promote healthy cell turnover. According to the University of Columbia School of Public Health 95% of all cancer is due to diet and the accumulation of toxins. There are many simple steps that can be taken to reduce the toxic load on the body and to revitalize the cells to assist in combating this disease. No matter what type of treatment you decide on changing your diet can produce significant results in the outcome of the therapy. Eating the right kinds of foods before during and after cancer treatments can help you to feel better and stay stronger. Eating and drinking enough of the foods and liquids that have important nutrients the body needs can help with any therapy you decide on. When the body does not get or cannot absorb the nutrients needed for health it causes a condition called malnutrition or malnourishment. Because many of the treatments for cancer often compromise the immune system it is doubly important to adopt a healthy eating program to prevent infection and to keep the tissues healthy. Many people are already experiencing nutritional deficiencies before treatment because the cancer cells are rapidly dividing and growing. They are using the available vitamins minerals proteins and calories that the rest of the body needs. If you have had surgery and are taking pain medications or antibiotics those can also have an effect on your appetite and your ability to enjoy your food. Many treatments also make it difficult to eat because of the effect on taste buds and the nausea that is often the result of treatment. Many people experience weight loss during medical treatments and only focusing on eating foods that help to regain the weight is not the answer the answer is in eating the foods that supply the nutrients needed for the body to not only survive but to thrive. Many of the high-calorie foods with excessive fats and sweets can be a catalyst for inflammation which is harmful for your immune system and overall health. Avoid eating high-fat empty calorie foods. There are many factors related to absorption of nutrients sometimes treatments and tumors make chemical changes in the way the body uses certain nutrients. The body s use of proteins carbohydrates and fat may be affected it may seem that you are eating enough but the body may not be able to absorb all the nutrients from the food you are eating. The best place to start is with organic whole foods. Because of the difficulties with eating one of the easiest ways to get the nutrition necessary is by drinking smoothies and shakes made with vegetables and fruits. Nutritious soups are also an easy option for cancer patients to eat. Ingesting small amounts throughout the day instead of attempting to eat large meals seems to work best for most people. Green drinks are the most nutritionally dense foods on the planet and pack a real nutrient punch. They are high in antioxidants carotenoids flavonoids vitamins A C E folic acid calcium....and more. They are also packed with dietary fiber that won t irritate the digestive system and are alkaline which promotes an environment where cancer does not grow. What you don t eat is just as important as what you do eat. Diets that are heavy in processed foods sugars refined foods and alcohol severely impair metabolism and filing up on these foods prevents you from eating the foods that are nutritious and life giving. Often some supplementation is also necessary to assist with the absorption of nutrients. A good multivitamin is a good idea for everyone. Any other supplementation should be individually suggested. 84 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Caution Everyone wants to help. Everyone that you talk to has a strong desire to give their opinions and tell you a story. Your mechanic is going to tell you about his second cousin once removed who had cancer and drank copious amounts of one herb tea and was cured. Your hairdresser will tell you a story about her mother who ate one particular food and was cured. Your family members will go online and find a supplement that they are sure will make it all go away. Remember that their intentions are good but they are not professionals. Every person is different every cancer is different every treatment is different. What worked for one person may not work for you. Taking this type of advice and relying solely on that one thing can also keep you from receiving the support you really need. Finding a professional that knows about diet and nutrition is key. Having someone who is objective and well versed in dealing with cancer and nutrition can make a big difference in the outcome of any therapy that you decide on. Combining proper nutrition with your conventional treatment can produce positive results. The key then is to retain a healthy lifestyle so as to prevent recurrence. Going back to the old ways of eating and living will produce the same results. Making a healthy lifestyle a permanent shift is conducive to continued health and prevention of disease. HLM Eunice Green has a doctorate in Natural Health and has been in the nutrition industry for 40 years. She has a consultation practice and works with cancer clients on a consistent basis. She has written a cookbook that concentrates on diets for cancers Feed Your Body Not the Cancer. She is also the owner of Green s Nutrition on the Miracle Mile. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 85 HERLIFE BOOK CLUB the silent sister by diane chamberlain rev i ew by ga i l si l ve rste i n grass band and living a happy life with her partner Celia. No one but Jade and Celia know the truth behind why she ran and didn t stand for trial in the murder of her overbearing music teacher Steven Davis. At one point Lisa stepped forward from the rest of the group as she had in the airport. Dressed in white she looked like an ethereal angel as she raised her violin and began to play... So begins Riley s desperate search for the truth about Lisa as she watched her sister perform on an old VHS tape found among her father s possessions. Compounding the many problems Riley faces in tracking down her sister is their troubled brother Danny a veteran of the Iraq war and a semi-recluse. Angry at the world Danny is a man dedicated to making his older sibling Lisa pay for the unhappy family life he and Riley endured. With nothing to lose and everything to gain Danny pursues the cold case of Lisa s faked death in his own way but for different reasons than Riley. He is protective of his younger sister and conflicted by his emotions for his siblings. Danny is the wild card character in this book whose behavior the reader can never quite predict. Along the way readers are introduced to Tom and Verniece Kyles who manage the RV park Riley s father Frank owned. Tom a former co-worker of Frank MacPherson is a surly man who drinks to forget the past and the questionable decisions he made. His wife Verniece is the total opposite--sweet warm and open. She aids our heroine in searching for Lisa as well as the mystery surrounding Riley s birth and in the course of events reveals a few character flaws of her own. Realtor and long-time family friend Jeannie Lyons enters the scene enhancing the story line and at first leaving this reader with mixed feelings about her motives. Jeannie was Riley s mother s best and oldest friend who had a secretive romantic relationship with Riley s father after he was widowed. She is the ultimate keeper of the MacPherson family secrets until the past hurls one last surprise at her. Added to the mix is Jeannie s own daughter Christine who appears simpler to understand but is also hiding a checkered past. Realistic colorful characters and poignant prose make this story page-turning and believable. The various plot twists will have readers sitting on edge wondering how the characters resolve their disappointments bitterness and pain. Whether you are a mother sister daughter or best friend this book appeals to all of us as humans. For anyone who has ever wondered about their own family secrets this author leaves you feeling as if you re wearing your heart on your sleeve. You ll cry gasp and even laugh at the touching way Diane Chamberlain leads us to recognize the ties and lies that bind a family together. HLM D book jacket. iane Chamberlain s newest novel is a tale of necessary lies and deep deception that form the relationships of the MacPherson family. Told from the perspective of the two main characters sisters Riley and Lisa Jade MacPherson it is a haunting tale that promises to stay with the reader long after she closes the I d never expected to lose nearly everyone I loved by the time I was 25 begins The Silent Sister and from that first line in the first chapter the reader is drawn into a mystery rich in character development and complicated relationships. Flashing back in time between the last decade of the 20th century and present day school counselor Riley is tasked with the burden of cleaning out her childhood home after her father dies unexpectedly. Along the way she uncovers secrets about the supposed suicide of her older sister Lisa. She finds out that Lisa is alive and living under a new identity. In her quest to discover the truth and to find Lisa Riley quickly learns to question everyone and everything connected to her childhood and her family. Haunted by the past and determined to figure out puzzling pieces of information that she uncovers in both her father s trailer and home office Riley is forced to confront the memories of her sad childhood. As the family scenario she believed growing up begins to unravel Riley even doubts her own professional effectiveness in working with troubled youngsters. Child music prodigy and oldest sibling Lisa commits a serious crime as a teenager. About to face trial for murder she fakes her death with some unexpected assistance and constructs a new life on the other coast as Jade a runaway escaping her past. Over time the police give up searching for her convinced she died and very few ask any questions. She is able to forge a new existence re-emerging as a musician in a blue- 86 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 87 HERLIFE SCENE AND BE SEEN Wine & Roses Hosts a Decadent Affair W ine & Roses Hotel Restaurant and Spa hosted the wedding event A Decadent Affair on Aug. 23. Future brides and grooms were inspired with the latest trends in weddings from the area s top vendors. Guests also enjoyed specialty food and drinks a bridal fashion showcase tours of the property and giveaways. For more information on weddings at Wine & Roses please visit HLM ph o t o gr aphy by briggs phot ogr ap hy 88 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 89 HERLIFE TIE THE KNOT Brooke and Adam TIED THE KNOT JUNE 26 2015 w ri tte n by m a ri l y n i sa m i n ge r p h o to gra p hy by j u l i e n i c o l e p h o to gra p hy 90 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM businesses that shared in the love Bridal Gown Elegant Bride Bridesmaids Gowns Bari Jay Makeup fill in Hair Styling and Makeup Wine and Roses Spa Photographer Julie Nicole Photography Videography Shannon Lynott Sky Pike Productions Florist Brandon Bowman Morningside Florist DJ Elite DJ Wedding Coordinator Melanie Koch Wine & Roses Minister Rick Mazaria Cake Frosted Flour Venue Wine & Roses Grooms Groomsmen s Suits Men s Wearhouse Photobooth Temple Photography and Photobooth and a little bit of good timing. Brooke worked at a restaurant that provided appetizers for the wine retail store where Adam worked. Customers would pay for their specially delivered wine-tasting accompaniments and at the end of the night Adam would go to the restaurant and pay out the tab for the store. Brooke and Adam met one night as he was paying the tab and hit it off. Adam s proposal to Brooke was just before Brooke s birthday he told her it was a fun trip to celebrate. Since they had been dating four years and still hadn t been able to plan a dinner with all four of their parents together that occasion was planned for the actual day of Brooke s birthday so she truly expected a proposal that day. But on a lovely day that December he surprised her with a picnic outside of a winery that overlooked the valley. Just before sunset they went to Avila Beach Brooke s favorite beach and took a walk in the sand where he dropped to one knee and asked her to marry him. Her roommates had been following them and captured the moment before they all celebrated with champagne. The blissful couple tied the knot on June 26 2015 in an outdoor ceremony under the evergreens at Wine & Roses. Bridal attendants were Leslie B rooke and Adam Fiori were brought together by food wine Garretson Sarah Williams Katrina Bedell Meghan Seal Christa Fiori and Taylor Fisher. Standing with the groom were Kyle Lowery Chad Ratloff Josh Rixs Colton Cates and Jake Fisher. Our wedding day went perfectly shares Brooke. I did a first look with my dad a decision I ll never regret. When his eyes started getting teary I almost lost it In the next private moment I thanked my parents for raising me with good morals and good faith. I also thanked them for raising me to realize I was worth having a husband as wonderful as Adam. At our reception we displayed a framed card that said Our wedding is dedicated to our parents who demonstrate daily that it is possible. As I walked down the aisle I was so overwhelmed with happiness. All I could see was Adam Brooke smiles. When I reached the front he whispered You ve never looked more beautiful. My favorite moment of the entire ceremony was during communion when our minister said Adam for the first time I want you to break the bread for your wife. After photographs in the spectacular vineyard the reception got underway. Our fathers both gave very moving speeches remembers Brooke. The DJ was great and the music was a perfect blend of our tastes. I m pretty sure there wasn t a single filled seat once the music started. Our HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 91 guests were so energetic and danced all night long My grandma was even caught on film dancing The photobooth was a huge hit the photobooth attendants prepared a book of everyone s pictures and guests had the opportunity to sign next to their pictures. We got the picturebook that night and we love taking it out and reminiscing over the hilarious pictures I couldn t have asked for a more perfect day and a more perfect life with the man of my dreams. Brooke and Adam honeymooned on St. Martin. We stayed at a resort on the beach and our room overlooked the ocean. In fact we fell asleep to the sounds of the ocean every night Adam shares. We did a little bit of everything jet skiing zip lining sightseeing paddle boarding and snorkeling. Our favorite part though was sitting on the beach drinking mojitos and listening to live music. HLM 92 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 93 HERLIFE HOROSCOPE star journeys For many the breezy nights and the change of scenery perfectly capture the look and feel of autumn. Astrologically speaking October is saturated with the energy of security and harmony as well as added resiliency and ambition which are due to the continued alignment of Mars and Pluto. Most signs will find themselves restless with additional energy. HLM by m e l o dy b u ssey Libra SEPT. 23-OCT. 22 Grab life by the horns will be your personal motto this month. With more than half of your governing celestial bodies in your house you will be able to do anything you set your mind to and with this energy others will notice too. This is the time to move forward with any of those closely guarded ideas and projects. Aries MAR. 21-APR. 19 Love is in full bloom this month but like a flower it needs time to grow into something beautiful take it slow and don t rush. Your monetary planet moves into Scorpio and this is the ideal time to pay off debts and bills. Health is also at risk this month and is to be watched closely. Don t forego those second opinions. Scorpio OCT. 23-NOV. 21 Take this month to ponder the past year and learn from victories and failures to better this new cycle. This is the time to make changes in your life both physically and emotionally. With the new changes comes a new sense of personal independence. Feel free to act upon it and reap the rewards. Taurus APR. 20-MAY 20 Though you are going to feel like partying and taking it easy (blame the Mars Pluto conjunction) this would be a mistake on your part. Adapting is the key to many of the problems that may arise particularly in the areas of finance and career. Balance between work and home are key. Sagittarius NOV. 22-DEC. 21 Pay close attention to your health. Even though it has increased from last month you still must be wary. Do not push friends out and away as a smile is the greatest medicine one can receive. Live life to your standards and make it your own. Finances however should be watched closely. Don t take risks in this area. Gemini MAY 21-JUNE 20 While your health is getting better the planets still suggest you should be cautious. October will be an easy month for you since the house of health will become powerful for you. Love will be challenged here work and other duties hinder the relationship a bit but don t ruin it. Finding balance will be the key to success. Capricorn DEC. 22-JAN. 19 Be ready to jump into life with both feet. More than half of your ruling planets by this time are in your houses. This is the perfect time to make your life just the way you like it. Monetary and love stresses will be lessening this month and now is a grand opportunity to build strong relationships. Just be careful to not to let your work kill your relationships. Cancer JUNE 21-JULY 23 Family and others are the big goals for this month as they sustain you in times of need. Strive to strengthen your bonds with friends and family. This becomes easier as the month progresses. Do not be overly attached to your significant other and let them have some room to breathe. Decisions regarding moving in or marriage or divorce should be held off for this month as your house of love is in retrograde. Aquarius JAN. 20-FEB. 18 Take the month to relax and de-stress as much as you can muster. This month the Career House becomes especially powerful and this makes it a good time to push forward with your career. Health is looking up just in time to help you make your move at work. Leo JULY 24-AUG. 22 This month all that you have created for your life will be tested. It is time to lie in the bed you made for better or worse. This is going to test your relationship this month as well as friendships. Shopping is a good idea this month as you will be more financially conscious as well as frugal. Pisces FEB. 19-MAR. 20 With most of the planets in the West you will still be living a very social life. Try to make harmony with all aspects of your life and good will follow. Build strong bonds with friends this month because you never know where a bridge made from friendship can lead. Love is going to be on the rise this month which is a good time for experimentation or for finding your soul mate. 94 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Virgo AUG. 23-SEPT. 22 Stress and health are the main concerns this month. Avoiding power struggles is a must as you will lose even if you win the battle. Love decisions are being made this month both positive and negative. These changes will definitely affect the course of the upcoming month. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 95 HERLIFE CALENDAR october Lincoln Center s Semi Annual Sidewalk Sale DATE October 3 TIME 9 00am 6 00pm LOCATION Lincoln Center Benjamin Holt Drive at Pacific Avenue Stockton DETAILS Come to Lincoln Center for a phenomenal day of shopping with more than 25 participating stores. Fabulous finds for you and the whole family. For more information please visit StoneCreek Village Come out and enjoy the music of The Garage Band. StoneCreek Village restaurant food and drinks may be purchased and brought into the concert area. Please no outside food or drinks lawn chairs or coolers. For more information please visit Masquerade Ball at The Grand Theatre DATE October 10 TIME 8 00pm 11 00pm LOCATION The Grand Theatre 715 Central Avenue Downtown Tracy DETAILS Join us as the Grand Theatre Center for the Arts is transformed into a haunting castle and guests arrive in ball gowns classy men s attire and gorgeous masks Music entertainment dancing a few surprises appetizers and 2 drink tickets are included in your ticket price. Guests must be 21 or over and provide ID at check in. Tickets are 25. For more information or to purchase tickets please visit Harney Lane Winery Presents the 5th Annual STOMP Out Cancer DATE October 4 TIME 12 00pm 4 00pm LOCATION Harney Lane Winery 9010 E. Harney Lane Lodi DETAILS This special fundraiser will benefit The Greyhounds Relay for Life team in their fight against cancer. STOMP guests will enjoy an afternoon full of activities including an authentic grape stomp live music an opportunity drawing and silent auction as well as gourmet BBQ available for purchase complemented by Harney Lane s delicious estate wines-by-the-glass Event is free to attend and 20 to participate in the grape stomp. All proceeds go directly to charity. Downtown Lodi Wicked Wine Stroll DATE October 17 TIME 6 00pm 9 00pm LOCATION Downtown Lodi School Street DETAILS More than 25 wineries will be pouring their newest vintages and wine makers will be discussing why Lodi is home to a growing number of award-winning wineries. School Street s shops and boutiques will serve delectable appetizers with special shopping discounts. Tickets are 30 in advance 40 at event designated driver tickets are 15 in advance and 20 at event. For more information please call the Lodi Chamber of Commerce (209) 367-7840. Annie the Play DATE October 6 and 7 TIME 7 00pm LOCATION Gallo Center for the Arts 1000 I Street Modesto DETAILS Leapin Lizards The world s best-loved musical returns in timehonored form. Directed by original lyricist and director Martin Charnin and choreographed by Liza Gennaro this production of Annie will be a brand-new incarnation of the iconic original. For tickets please call (209) 338-3102 or visit Witches & Broomsticks DATE October 23 TIME 6 00pm 8 00pm LOCATION Downtown Tracy Plaza 6th Street and Central Avenue DETAILS Come join the fun for the annual Girls Night Out event Witches and Broomsticks. Enjoy shopping from local vendors food and wine tasting dancing and more Tickets are 25 and will sell out fast. Visit or call (209) 831-6858 for information and to purchase tickets. The Garage Band Decades of Hits DATE October 9 TIME 6 30pm 8 30pm LOCATION Stone Creek Village Pacific Avenue and Robinhood Drive Stockton DETAILS Join us for the last concert in the Summer Concert series at All calendar event submissions must be received by September 25th for the November issue and adhere to our guidelines. E-mail kimberly for guidelines or to submit entries. HLM 96 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 97 98 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 99