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SEPTEMBER 2016 creating birthday memories for kids new season new skincare routine super bLogger of Cella Jane becky hiLLyard kc fashion issue Living in a happy space 2 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM herlife features Becky Hillyard Blogger Becky Hillyard through hard work and selfeducation transformed a hobby into a multi-level influential business that shares her personal favorites style and fitness tips. And it s fully a family commitment named Cella Jane after her stylish grandmother with Becky s husband Michael as photographer and their precious daughter Sutton featured on the trendy site. 40 Welcome 14 18 20 32 From the publisher 78 Back to the 90s Fashion Blog Brain Balance Centers achieve solutions for children and parents Spotlight 86 Events around town Scene & Be Seen Heather Morrow conveying emotion and art through photography Spotlight Advanced Aesthetics Medical Spa turn back the clock for your skin Spotlight 96 Groover Interiors Ask the Expert 108 Just Sayin Jenny Matthews 48 Effortlessly update your wardrobe at Clothes Mentor Spotlight 110 114 Laura and Mike Michalski Tie the Knot 54 Carl and Susan ThorneThomsen narrate their art at Story. Cravings Homestead on the Hill and Hope for Justice partner to end human trafficking Helping Hands 66 Anaphora Trendsetter 118 Calendar of events In the City 10 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM herlife departments 28 Health Coping with stroke navigating the journey after 36 Silver Linings Transitioning to assisted living 38 Beauty New season new skincare routine 46 Mother s Perspective Creating birthday memories for kids 36 60 52 Culinary It s not your ordinary pickle 60 Recipes Fire-roasted chicken enchiladas The best all-purpose taco filling 62 Wine Do you viognier 64 Book Club Ballad of the Black and Blue Mind by Anne Roiphe 76 Green Living Bringing back biking 82 Fine Things Choose your statement wisely 90 Working Women Today s a gift that s why they call it the present 94 Finance Can you afford a divorce 90 98 Home Living in a happy space 106 102 Real Estate Your commercial lease valuable tips 104 Pets Pets love living the apartment life too 106 Travel The gem of natural selection and evolution 120 Star Journeys September horoscopes 12 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 104 herlife Welcome a smile s always in fashion The summer has ended and fall is right around the corner. I always think about fashion trends more this time of the year than I do any other. Maybe it is due to back-to-school shopping or maybe it s due to the weather beginning to cool off and I am not planning my wardrobe around the lightest or coolest materials. Whatever it may be I find myself more interested which I always am in the most recent trends. The September Fashion issue has always been one of my favorites and it still is I recently took a girls trip to Napa. Prior to packing Emma Houlik my personal stylist at Nordstrom helped replenish my wardrobe. Abby Wood another stylist helped me clean out my closet and put together some looks. Can I shop on my own and clean out my own closet Yes but it is so much easier with the help of experts It also took the stress out of packing for sure. Traveling always creates anxiety for me. I seem to always over pack but photography by napa your way not this time. Since I didn t have the stress of what to wear or how much to pack I could focus on the important things like having fun with the girls and enjoying the days of winery tours moments of laughter that made our stomachs hurt until we couldn t breathe and relaxing with the girls. Here s to the nights that turned into I realized in Napa with the thought of the September Fashion issue always in the back of my mind that fashion isn t just what you wear but how you wear it. Make it unique to yourself. Fashion is incomplete until you make it your own. None of us wears the same piece the same way. Another conclusion I reached is that you will be more comfortable in what you wear if it reflects who you are. You don t have to dress head to toe in the most recent trends or any current trends for that matter but if wearing it makes you feel better wear it Every place we went to in Napa was preceded by our asking each other Does this look okay Honestly we all looked better when we were smiling laughing dancing and having fun. With that being said find a fashion that makes you feel good because you are beautiful for who you are. Make part of your fashion trend this fall wearing a smile on your face. Surrounding yourself with people who make you happy will ensure that your smile stays in place and that you will be looking your best. Cherish It mornings fa mily. turned into - Author unknown and the friends that Tammy Crystal McDonald HERLIFEMagazine instagram herlifemagkc twitter herlifemagkc pinterest herlifemagazine 14 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM staff & contacts Publisher Editor Office Manager Art Director Graphic Designer Advertising Tammy Crystal McDonald Marilyn Isaminger Patsy Crystal Elana Bell Casey Olson Michelle Carder michelle (816) 516-9888 Gretchen Hayes gretchen (913) 787-4812 Jennifer Holmes jennifer (816) 419-8810 Contributing Authors Crystal Burchfield Ann E. Butenas Lisa Taranto Butler Patty Cook Rebecca Flansburg Erin Groover Marilyn Isaminger Erin Jones Melissa Haines Lavin Laura Leiva Jenny Matthews Cindy McDermott Linda R. Price Merritt Rethlake John Sandbach Tina V. Savas Allison Turnberg Haley Vickers Abby Wood Contributing Photographers Paul Bonnicson Doc Photography Studio Laura Dold Phillip Flores Sara Foote Freeland Photography Beth Johnson Nicole Kleinhans Heather Morrow Napa Your Way Lauren Frisch Pusateri Christina Ward Abby Wood Contact Information 7535 W. 160th Street Overland Park KS Phone (913) 402-6994 Fax (866) 827-6851 Subscriptions are available for 20 (for 12 issues). Please go to or mail a check made out to HERLIFE Magazine to the above address. Subscriptions 2016 by HERLIFE Magazine. All rights reserved. Although some parts of this publication may be reproduced and reprinted we require that prior permission be obtained in writing. HERLIFE Magazine is owned by KLP Enterprises and is a free publication distributed locally and is supported by our advertisers. It is available in selected specialty stores doctor and dental offices medical spas hair and nail salons tanning salons public libraries and numerous other high traffic locations. Please call for a location near you or if you would like copies placed at your business. We do not necessarily endorse the views expressed in the articles and advertisements nor are we responsible for the products and services advertised. We welcome your ideas articles and feedback. 16 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM herlife fashion blog back to the 90s W atching the evolution of trends is one of my favorite things about fashion. Each decade has a unique identity in- fluenced by pop culture. I was watching a Season One episode circa 1994 of my favorite sitcom Friends last week. As she was hanging out at the coffee house Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) was wearing a black shorts jumper that resembled overalls with a white short-sleeved mock turtleneck top underneath and black mules. What a cute look Then I realized I saw that exact outfit when I was out shopping last week. That s when it hit me. The 90s ARE back just in time for fall 2016. New trends build slowly. In March I noticed the heavy 90s vibe in many collections at Kansas City Fashion Week. Gypsy Blaque one of my favorite designers featured olive vegan leather pants and skirts. The looks were accented with Leather with a hint of rocker. Don t be surprised to see leather with heavy metal details making a statement in the stores this fall. Leather or vegan leather jackets pants and even vests will be in the stores. Treat these pieces as neutrals to make a basic look more edgy. If this trend is too moto over-the-knee suede boots or lace-up booties very 90s but still looking fresh and current. Soon there were lace-up blouses and leather choker necklaces emerging. Then BAM Nineties-inspired fashion with a modern twist was everywhere even in more traditional stores such as Nordstrom or The Gap. How should you bring the 90s back in your daily wardrobe for fall 2016 written and photographed by abby wood Abby Wood is a wardrobe stylist and style blogger in Kansas City and her education in design plus retail experience make her an expert in fit fabric style and trends. Her professional experience in fashion began with an apprenticeship with a bridal designer shifted to creating and showing her own line moving up to management and training at a retail level and now professional styling as an independent consultant. Abby loves to work with individuals and help them develop and evolve their own sense of style find her at For daily style finds and tips you can find Abby instablogging as abbywoodwear on Instagram and Facebook. 18 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM designer gypsy blaque styles shown during kansas city fashion week march 2016 for you downplay it by pairing it with something preppy. For example try leather pants paired with a collared shirt layered with a classic crewneck sweater. This is an easy way to stay on trend without going over the top. It s all in the details especially lace-up everything cut-outs and chokers. Look for a basic peasant lace-up blouse. Also grab some booties or flats with simple cut-outs. Since these details make a statement wear them with something classic simple and understated such as basic denim jeans. Suede is all the rage. Whether it s boots a skirt a dress or a jacket these pieces are available in a variety of fall colors such as rust orange wine red all shades of brown and even black. Try pairing a suede skirt or suede pants with a smooth leather boot. The contrasting textures will look cohesive and chic. Are you just dipping your foot in the suede water for the first time Start with a pair of suede booties that can be paired with jeans or dresses. Living on the edge Go for that perfect suede jacket that you have been eyeing The fall color wheel. For your fall color palette look at rust orange deep olive green wine red eggplant hues of violet rich blues navy and of course black and white. It may still be warm outside but the fashion world is ready to turn the page to the next season. Happy fall and happy shopping hlM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 19 herlife scene and be seen story celebrates award with Wine dinner O n July 5 Story received the Best of Award of Excellence from Wine Spectator for its wine program. Story owners Carl and Susan Thorne-Thomsen celebrated with a French wine dinner at Story on July 13 with special guest Jerome Jeandin of Monsieur Touton Imports. Guests enjoyed wines from the South of France paired with a five-course tasting menu from Chef Carl Thorne-Thomsen. Story is located at 3931 W 69th Terrace in Prairie Village. Visit for information on future wine dinners and special events. hlM p h o to s p rov i d e d by d o c p h o to gra p hy stu d i o 20 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 21 herlife scene and be seen Kc Wine company first anniversary I t s been a great year at KC Wine Company who just celebrated their 1st birthday Oenophiles gathered to savor tidbits live music and of course the great wines of the local boutique win- ery. Guest enjoyed exploring the Barrel Room and the beautiful vistas on a lovely summer night. KC Wine Company has to wine to please every palate stop by for a tasting or visit to learn more. hlM p h o to s p rov i d e d by sa ra m a ri e p h o to gra p hy a n d l a u r a dold 22 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 23 herlife scene and be seen culinary fight club O n Thursday July 28 Culinary Fight Club held another great event benefiting Fight2Feed at The Grille at Park Place. Contestants were executive chef Matt Livers of both Cleaver & Cork and Leinenku- gel s Beer Garden Andy Groweman from Smoke on Wheels BBQ Chef Tyren Crain a French cooking expert and Jeremy Clevenger of Smoked Creations BBQ. Contestants had 60 seconds to pick their ingredients and 60 minutes to perfectly plate their grilled dishes for the judges. The prize a 2016 World Food Championships Golden Ticket and the coveted Custom Culinary Fight Club Trophy by Shockwaves Promotional Apparel was won by Andy Groweman with a smoked tomahawk chop. Event sponsors were Bull Outdoor Products Smithfield Foods Proteins and Reinhart Foodservices. Ticketed guests enjoyed tastings from each chef after the judges pick. hlM pho t o s provided by christ ina war d 24 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 25 herlife scene and be seen barefoot beach bums town center plaza grand opening A mid the tropical sounds of Glen Mock & the Tropical Dreamers local homegrown company Barefoot Beach Bums celebrated the grand opening of their Town Center Plaza location on July 14. Guests tickled their toes in the sand and enjoyed delicious eats and treats catered by The Pita Pit Blue Chip Cookies and Costco. Thanks go to Leonard Corsi Brenda Stewart and the Town Center Plaza staff who drew them in like a boat sliding effortlessly to dock. Beth Johnson the Leawood Chamber of Commerce and a heartfelt welcome from Mayor Peggy Dunn made Leawood feel like home for these landlocked beach lovers. Barefoot Beach Bums is a family-owned company with family values at heart grateful to all who shared in making the day a reality. It s a tropical destination right here in Kansas City whether it s for boat beach deck or dock there is always something for the inner beach you ve got. hlM p h o to s p rov i d e d by n i c o l e k l e i n h a n s a n d b e th j o h n so n 26 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM herlife health and older but a person of any age can have a stroke. The two main types are ischemic (more common) and hemorrhagic. Most strokes are ischemic and are caused by reduced blood flow to the brain when blood vessels are blocked by a clot or become too narrow for blood to pass. Brain cells in the area die from lack of oxygen. In hemorrhagic strokes the blood vessel isn t blocked but it bursts and blood leaks into the brain causing damage. After a stroke Stroke affects everyone differently but Coping with stroke navigating the journey after Pain anxiousness frustration and depression are just a few of the feelings that stroke survivors experience. Navigating the aftermath of stroke is often difficult for both the individual and those closest to them. l i sa t a r anto butler most survivors improve over a period of time and sometimes over a number of years. A survivor s recovery from stroke involves making changes in the physical social and emotional aspects of life. By making basic modifications additional strokes can be prevented and life-long recovery begins. Physical rehabilitation Adapting to life after such an event can be daunting for both stroke survivors and caregivers. A trained occupational therapist can help patients manage daily activities and regain independence. In addition patients may consider having an evaluation of their home so that returning there offers a safer more manageable environment. The success of stroke recovery varies depending on a number of factors including how much damage the stroke caused how soon recovery is started and how high the patient s motivation is to work toward recovery. Patients and families should seek guidance from their medical team. Depending on the severity of the stroke rehabilitation can include everything from in-hospital rehab to home therapy outpatient therapy and or long-term care. B ut getting back to a normal life is possible through an active approach of planning rehabilitation and adapting to a new set of circumstances. What is a stroke A stroke occurs if the flow of oxygen-rich blood to a portion of the brain is blocked. Without oxygen brain cells start to die after a few minutes. Sudden bleeding in the brain either from injury a congenital condition or aneurysm also can cause a stroke if it damages brain cells. Most strokes occur in people 65 years 28 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM ALTHOuGH SOME RISKS are hereditary everyone can reduce their stroke chances through simple lifestyle changes. Smoking almost doubles the risk of stroke and excessive alcohol consumption can be a factor. Emotional recuperation Patients experiencing depression emotional lability or other personality and emotional changes should talk with their healthcare professionals and loved ones about treatment options. While it is normal to feel sad angry or anxious after a stroke some people will also worry about areas such as work money relationships and more. By going through a strategic rehabilitation and taking a more active approach to quality of life patients can get back to normalcy and live as independently as possible. Social response Connecting with others is vital in the rehabilitation of stroke victims but certain tasks and issues such as speaking clearly understanding others writing emails mobility difficulties and fear of being around others can cause loneliness and disengagement. Studies have shown social integration is significantly related to overall stroke recovery and better quality HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 29 of life. Post-stroke patients who received good physical care as well as love and support from family and friends showed healthier outlooks less depression and faster recovery times. While a loved one is recovering the process can be facilitated by keeping them active. Go out. Stroke survivors and their caregivers should visit accessible places that they frequented before the stroke and also visit new destinations such as restaurants museums parks and shopping areas. Be with others. Although some people may feel uncomfortable if the survivor has physical limitations most friends and family will be there for support. The more survivors and caregivers talk about the situation the more comfortable it makes those around them. Get involved in a stroke support group that supports your needs. And remember not to overdo it don t be hard on yourself or your loved one after setbacks. Start slowly. There s plenty of time to evolve into a newer version of yourself. Prevention of another stroke Although some risks are hereditary everyone can reduce their stroke chances through simple lifestyle changes. Smoking almost doubles the risk of stroke and excessive alcohol consumption can be a factor. Controlling blood pressure cholesterol and diabetes reduces risk as well as maintaining a healthy weight eating a nutritious diet and exercising regularly. By modifying behaviors knowing hereditary risks and being aware of warning signs a person can dramatically decrease their chances of experiencing a stroke. Life afterward Stroke is frightening. It alters lives and can have a lifetime effect on victims and their loved ones. But starting recovery as early and thoroughly as possible increases every survivor s chances of an easier transition back to normal life. With the right help and support stroke doesn t have to stop anyone from doing what they want to do and leading a full life. hlM Sources and 30 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COMN herlife spotlight Advanced Aesthetics Medical Spa wri t t e n by cindy mcder mot t p hot ogr ap hy by laur en fr is c h p u sa te ri Turn Back the Clock for Your Skin Unique Treatment Plans Advanced Aesthetics Medical Spa known for its knowledgeable and experienced team of skincare professionals develops a customized skin health regimen for every customer based on a complimentary VISIA complexion analysis. Given that each customer is unique Adriane and her staff take great pride in listening to a client s concerns and developing a plan that s right for them. Each specially designed treatment stratow s the time to reverse sun damage focus on anti-aging and get ready for the upcoming holiday season shared Adriane Ritchie owner of Advanced Aesthetics Medical Spa. We have a variety of ways to address those issues resulting in a more even skin tone for sunegy helps you uncover naturally beautiful skin and turn back the clock. The staff can also guide customers with in-depth body contouring analysis and injection consultations. We listen to the needs of our clients and work with them to address their concerns and goals while educating them about our processes and cutting-edge technology. In addition we N 32 Sadly the memories of your wonderful summer activities are fading those great vacations cookouts with friends and fun times with the kids. Then there s a summertime happening that you d wish would immediately disappear ugly brown spots from too much time in the sun. But don t fret. Advanced Aesthetics Medical Spa is here to help with an array of services. When you arrive its contemporary and relaxing environment signals you re in a special place for your special time. damaged skin or skin with uneven pigmentation while addressing healthier texture for fine lines and wrinkles. Many of our clients come to us saying I wish I had taken care of my skin in my 20s and 30s. But Advanced Aesthetics Medical Spa can help you reverse repair and prevent those issues. We ll help you move forward as you improve your skin s appearance. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM feature medical-grade skin care products from various well-respected and well-known lines noted Adriane. We are absolutely passionate about what we do. Our goal is to establish longterm relationships with lasting results. Credentials and Caring Adriane understands the importance of achieving and then maintaining great skin. In her youth she suffered with terrible acne. During her journey to overcome this obstacle she discovered her life s calling to help others with skin care issues. Adriane received her degree in Paramedical Skincare at the Florida College of Natural Health in Miami Florida. Over the last 14 years she has been a medical aesthetician in Florida and the Midwest and she has shared her custom skin care treatments that enhanced the lives of her many clients. For nearly five years Adriane has operated her own treatment center under the direction of a medical doctor deepening her ability to share her unique skill and philosophy for skincare results. Because I struggled with my own acne I wanted to help others on their personal path to good skin. I focus on growing long-term relationships with long-term goals positively impacting a client s self esteem and confidence while giving back to the community she commented. I ve HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 33 Our manner of practice is characterized by exemplary quality service and a Skin Health for Life attitude remarked Adriane. We pledge to continue our dedication to total client satisfaction and continuing education as we maintain our leadership in the aesthetic care field. worked with medical spas dermatologists and plastic surgeons and that has given me access to some of the most cutting-edge technology and knowledge in the medical spa industry. I ve trained doctors medical spa owners aestheticians and staff on aesthetic equipment I have consulted with many area doctors and spa owners on their businesses and I ve served as guest speaker at many aesthetic academies. As a HydraFacial MD rep I successfully introduced it to the Midwest region making it a household name. Glowing Client Comments And customers are very happy with the results they ve achieved at Advanced Aesthetics Medical Spa. I have never experienced such a unique program of results. My skin looks the best it has ever been shared Sara M. from Overland Park Kansas. Adriane is a true skin care therapist. I have gone to a number of aestheticians in the past but I found Adriane to show a real interest in assisting me with meeting my very specific skin care goals. I have and will continue to recommend her services stated Vicki S. from Overland Park Kansas. Skin Health for Life The menu of services offered is extensive. From tightening the skin to resurfacing fine lines and wrinkles facial injections fat and cellulite reduction and body tightening Advanced Aesthetics Medical Spa is ready to be your personal skin care team delivering customized results. Our manner of practice is characterized by exemplary quality service and a Skin Health for Life attitude remarked Adriane. We pledge to continue our dedication to total client satisfaction and continuing education as we maintain our leadership in the aesthetic care field. Don t you and your skin deserve to enjoy and reap the benefits of Advanced Aesthetics Medical Spa Call today to schedule a complimentary consultation and allow its medical aestheticians to share with you the latest scientifically proven knowledge to reverse skin damage and give you results that last. hlM Visit the medical spa at 14213 Metcalf Avenue in Lionsgate Medical Plaza Overland Park Kansas the website at or call 913-7356335. 34 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 35 herlife silver linings decision with your loved one and you have found an assisted living facility that meets your loved one s needs and with which you feel comfortable numerous changes result. When you your extended family members the facility director and your loved one s physician work together as a team the move can be successful. It takes preparation a supportive network a lot of understanding a heaping helping of patience and above all a positive attitude. As you begin the prep work decide who will be involved. It s best to conduct a family meeting so that certain responsibilities of the transition Transitioning to assisted living Five years ago it became increasingly evident that my mother-inlaw could no longer live safely alone. She was exhibiting signs of forgetfulness such as leaving the stove on or going for a drive and failing to remember the way home. We worried about her overall health and safety as one small accident led to another. by a n n e. butenas can be delegated. Come to the table with a list of everything that must be done including the requisite paperwork cleaning out the house packing and the move itself. Through it all be sure to have someone keep an eye on your loved one and continually reassure her of all that is going on include her not only in the dialogue about the move but also in the decision-making processes to the extent that is possible for her. As you delegate the responsibilities decide who will oversee the packing who will work with the movers and if storage is necessary. You may want to consider an estate sale. Yes it will seem challenging and no it won t be easy but maintain that positive attitude and ask for help when you need it. Always keep in mind that you are doing the right thing. For your loved one the lack of familiarity with both the environment and the other residents can be intimidating. Expect an adjustment period of one to three months. After all she may have lived in her prior home for most of her life W 36 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM e knew it was time to suggest that she move to an assisted living facility. This suggestion was initially met with some rebuttal as the first thought that came to her mind was the essential stripping of her freedom and independence. After that first conversation all it took was some basic action steps to set the forces in motion now my mother-in-law views the facility in which she lives as home and she wouldn t have it any other way. Once you have made this challenging so keep an open mind. Be sure your loved one understands the reason for the move and help her to prepare mentally for this well in advance of the move. For my mother-in-law this preparation consisted of going through all of her belongings and deciding what she wanted to keep what she could throw away and things she could donate. Once she had pared down her belongings she actually felt a sense of relief. The next step was the move itself which took just a few hours. What would take appreciably longer however was the adjustment phase. The key factor in this area involves socialization. Initially my motherin-law had no interest in getting out and meeting the other residents. In fact she chose to eat her meals in her tiny apartment instead of breaking bread with the others in the community dining hall. Although we respected her desire to adjust in this manner we also knew it was imperative that she get out of her apartment and make new friends. As your loved one deals with a range of emotions during this transition you too may experience many feelings most notably one of guilt. Don t feel guilty. Moving your loved one to an assisted living facility was not a decision made lightly and it was made with the her best interest in mind her health and well-being should be your top priority. In addition to making sure your loved one makes new friends and truly feels a sense of belonging to her new community it s important that you continue to visit. Listen to her communicate regularly with the staff. Join her for lunch or dinner on occasion or take part in a community activity with her. On the other hand don t visit too often as that could diminish WHEN YOu YOuR extended family members the facility director and your loved one s physician work together as a team the move can be successful. It takes preparation a supportive network a lot of understanding a heaping helping of patience and above all a positive attitude her sense of independence. Don t feel as if you have to hold her hand all the time. Give her the freedom to reach out to others within the community on her own. Provide the little touches to your loved one s new apartment that will give a layer of warmth and familiarity. Hang family photos. Make sure favorite knick-knacks are on display. Anything that has personal meaning will help to assuage feelings of anxiety and discomfort as she adjusts to her new home. We knew my mother-in-law had put her heart and soul into her new home when we called her one day and she was unavailable to chat. She was upstairs with the rest of the gang enjoying a movie night hlM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 37 herlife beautY wrinkles. Removing parched skin cells also helps your nourishing skincare products soak into the skin better rendering them more effective. Gentle cleansing When the skin is more supple and hydrated in the summer months a deep-cleansing solution is ideal to wash away buildup such as sunscreen and microscopic particles in the atmosphere and leave skin feeling fresh and clean. During winter however you should switch to a creamier and gentler skin cleansing product to remove impurities without stripping away precious moisture and natural oils. A cleansing oil is one product recommended by beauty experts. The oil is deeply hydrating while it rinses away makeup and buildup in the pores and it doesn t leave the skin feeling greasy. Moisturizing must-haves Lightweight moisturizers are always key in warmer months they provide a good amount by l a u r a leiva of hydration without being too thick. Once the weather turns cooler you ll want to switch to something a bit thicker to hydrate and don t forget to use moisturizer on the rest of your body Time spent in air conditioned or heated buildings year-round also affects skin and causes it to dry out so consider your home or work environment when selecting a skincare product. When the season begins its transition from warm to Exfoliating is key The texture and condition of your skin changes seasonally thanks to exposure to excess sun and humidity in summer and then to drier and colder temperatures in winter. While exfoliating is essential all year long it s a good idea to increase the exfoliating sessions during the fall and winter to twice weekly. This keeps dry skin cells from building up on the face and accentuating fine lines and 38 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM cool weather it s a good idea to start switching products to match the changing temperatures. Beauty experts recommend using your own climate and temperatures to give you an idea of what products to use and when to start switching New season new skincare routine Each season you clean out your closet and make the appropriate wardrobe changes. You even change around what ingredients you add to meals or beverages throughout autumn winter spring and summer so why don t you switch out your skincare products or makeup routines seasonally too T hough some might not realize it using the same skincare routine year-round isn t ideal products are designed to manage varying temperatures humidity levels and even the outdoor elements The same goes for cosmetics. Makeup colors and formulas vary throughout the year to give you the coverage you want in an assortment of seasonally desired shades. If you haven t been changing your skincare or makeup routines throughout the year these tips can get you started. FALL AND WINTER S drier air and breezes call for a creamier full-coverage formula and even a pressed powder over it. If your skin is drier as the season changes experts advise putting on a light base of moisturizer waiting three to five minutes and applying foundation next. them out for appropriate seasonal counterparts. Chances are you wouldn t wear a deep berry lip color in summer or a bronzer in winter so when you re switching out your skincare products also think about how to add variety to a makeup routine During the summer you have shown off your natural beauty and pared down the number of cosmetics you use and fall and winter require a bit more to maintain hydration and keep your skin glowing. Foundation needs While you enjoyed the summer months outdoors a lightweight foundation or tinted moisturizer that covered imperfections and provided a bit of sunscreen was enough. Fall and winter s drier air and breezes call for a creamier full-coverage formula and even a pressed powder over it. If your skin is drier as the season changes experts advise putting on a light base of moisturizer waiting three to five minutes and applying foundation next. Changing colors Match your cosmetic palette to the overall colors found throughout each season while brighter and more vibrant hues are essential in summer bold and jeweled tones are best in winter and throughout the holidays. The makeup you select should also complement your skin hair and eye tones. Some of the classic lip color options in winter are deeper such as wine and berry while shades of peach and coral are ideal for warmer months. Seasonal makeup is also a great way to create balance in your overall look throughout the year. Attention to nails Cuticles and nails begin to dry as the humidity drops. Cuticle oil and a more emollient hand cream still with sunscreen will protect your hands and give a beautiful base to show off the deeper and warmer fall and winter polish colors that accent your wardrobe. Don t neglect your skincare and makeup routine as you change around seasonally your beauty and skin routine will benefit from frequent swaps and new formulas. Check with your local aesthetician for her recommendations on formulas and products that will keep your skin healthy and look beautiful all year hlM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 39 herlife inspirations BECKY HILLYARD M any dream of it growing a gratifying hobby into a full-time job that brings financial success. That s the reality for Becky Hillyard the super blogger of Cella Jane who calls Kansas City home. More than 100 000 people mostly women follow her as she shares her views on fashion style fitness DIY and motherhood. She posts updates on her favorite looks and trends and those desired fashion finds that now hang in her closet. As her blogging has evolved Becky s brand has grown into personal style staying healthy and how she keeps it together as a mother. written by cindy mcdermott photography by heather morrow makeup by auni sublette of salonone19 40 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM FAsHIon FooD FItnEss AnD FAmILY HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Sharing her realm of 41 shot on location at unbakery and juicery If you re looking to keep up on the latest trends and to find where to buy great pieces you have found the place at Cella Jane shared Becky. My readers or followers are the everyday mother or woman or girl in college. They come to me for style advice or to catch up on my two-year-old daughter Sutton. In the last decade social media has opened many new doors for entrepreneurs or people who simply want to share their ideas or to take a hobby and turn it into a successful career such as the one Becky enjoys. In less than three years the 33-year-old has created her own social media whirlwind that has women reading and learning about her style. purple mink coat and I still have some of her jewelry noted Becky. When I was dreaming about the blog I wanted a unique name for it. My mom said that I should name it after my grandma and it s also Sutton s middle name. Becky employs a full arsenal of social media tools to share the Cella Jane brand including a website blog Snapchat Pinterest Facebook Twitter Instagram and Bloglovin. With video photography and the written word she carefully crafts her messages and offers looks to the outside world of her inside realm of fashion food fitness and family. Getting Established Creating a Niche Take your idea and start a blog but be obsessive and be consistent. There is a niche to share your passion and you can become something but you must work hard and do your research Becky shared. Start by getting your inspiration from other sites. Learn how they re taking ideas on how to do things such as home d cor food and style. Get inspired by others to create your own brand. You could say Becky s first inspiration came from her grandmother whom she admired for her great style. In fact she named her brand for her. I named my site after my grandma Marcella Jane who was my first and most inspiring exposure to fashion. She always had great style even a 42 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM After growing up in South Dakota she graduated from the university of Nebraska with a degree in psychology and a minor in business. She met her husband Michael while living in Omaha. Michael s job in the laundry textile business servicing accounts such as hotels hospitals and large industrial laundries brought him to Kansas City. The couple agreed to make it their home. His job requires so much travel that we decided to move to Kansas City Becky shared. And even after six years on the job he still doesn t do the laundry at home. Becky began her career after college in the marketing field focusing on social media for different companies. The exposure started her thinking about how she could personally share her own story through blogging. I enjoy fitness and style so I thought Why couldn t I promote my ideas from a social media aspect and document what I m doing Becky recalled. I started sharing on a blog about what I was eating and what I was wearing. From a hobby it grew into into a business and I began blogging more heavily on lifestyle beauty and fashion. Transition to a Higher Level When she was getting established Becky was noticed by Nordstrom Rack for her blogging skills. The marketing department reached out asking for help to promote a store opening in Iowa. They flew her to San Francisco to discuss the details with her and other influential bloggers from across the united States. I talked to those other bloggers and found out this was their full-time job she enthused. I wanted to get to that level too. After working hard enough and doing it well I saw Cella Jane blossom into the brand it is today. Most importantly it started bringing in an income. She also credits the move to Kansas City as an important piece of the transformation. When I moved to KC it was a turning point she stated. We were surrounded by better spots to photograph and that s when it became a business. Cella Jane is truly a family affair for Becky. Not only does she feature Sutton in her work but Michael is her chief photographer. The business has grown so much that I just hired a photographer shot on location at unbakery and juicery I turned a hobby into a passion and then a successful job. I never thought I d get to where I am today but if you work hard enough it can happen Becky affirmed. In the beginning some people thought what I was doing was odd but you have to put yourself out there to succeed. Now those same people are saying Wow look at what you did and how can I get a part of it Every day I pinch myself because what I have is so wonderful. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 43 Using Tools to Achieve Goals But her success is so much more than the pretty clothes that she models. Becky is an incredibly sharp business woman driven by a strategic business plan focused on tying together all of her social media tools to meet her goals and objectives. I use social media to amplify and drive traffic to my blog. I find that I can reach so many people on Instagram. I ll use Snapchat to share real-time video of something I m wearing. I ll also post family moments she noted. But it all drives viewers to the blog. I use links to generate sales of the various products I m featuring. Her success is impressive she s worked with some of the most recognizable fashion brands in the world that have reached out to her. One of her favorite campaigns was being featuring on the Kate Spade website. Nike is also a repeat brand that works with her. While the details of her social media are immense Becky says it s really about hard work and the willingness to put yourself in the public eye. Basically I taught myself about blogging by reading books and engaging in online forums. Now I get five requests a day asking how to do it she shared. It takes a lot of work and it won t happen overnight. You need to figure out how to do it on your own learn and then apply. that shoots half time but Michael has always been my number one supporter. At a Royals game he hands out my business cards she remarked. As for photography I m very comfortable with him and he shoots me weekly. A good friend in Omaha taught both of us how to take photos. Together Cella Jane is our dynamic and he sees the success in it. He recognizes that there are perks in blogging and how fun it can be. Today s Trendsetter With readership all over the united States Becky says that her followers in KC are loyal and supportive. She enjoys a strong backing from them by sharing her blog with others or by engaging in online conversations. Last year she was highlighted by InStyle Magazine as a national digital influencer and blogger guiding women in fashion style fitness and motherhood. Social media plays such a big role in our lives. With it I can influence people s style and help them make good decisions she said. For instance on Snapchat I ll share my own skin care and makeup routine. I love taking care of my skin and sharing what products work. Becky says that the success of Cella Jane comes by focusing on attainable style. She s conscious of the budget constraints of her readers and viewers. She won t feature expensive items that are out of reach for the average woman. Even with her immense success she holds steadfast to her own lifestyle which can easily be mirrored by others. I ve hand selected every item on my website. I ll feature it in photos or in video. People will then reach out and ask questions about how it fits and what it goes with she commented. I can answer those questions for them because I ve experienced it. Keeping the Connection Alive The future is incredibly bright for Becky as she continues to concentrate on growth for Cella Jane. Even with her success she maintains a steadfastness to connect with others through social media to share her brand of an attainable sense of self lifestyle advice healthy living tips motherhood discussions and more. I turned a hobby into a passion and then a successful job. I never thought I d get to where I am today but if you work hard enough it can happen Becky affirmed. In the beginning some people thought what I was doing was odd but you have to put yourself out there to succeed. Now those same people are saying Wow look at what you did and how can I get a part of it Every day I pinch myself because what I have is so wonderful. hlM 44 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Take your idea and start a blog but be obsessive and be consistent. There is a niche to share your passion and you can become something but you must work hard and do your research Becky shared. Start by getting your inspiration from other sites. Learn how they re taking ideas on how to do things such as home d cor food and style. Get inspired by others to create your own brand. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 45 herlife mother s perspective enthusiasts as a trendy way to enjoy nature and the act of camping. With glamping there s no drab canvas tent to pitch or plain-Jane sleeping bags to unroll. Parents can bring the outdoors in with the use of frilly and stylish tents or teepees cotton-candy-colored backpacks and lanterns along with fun arts and crafts as the perfect formula for birthday celebration success. Throw in some microwave S mores and the party is guaranteed to be a hit. The wet and wild backyard party Two things that always seem to go hand in hand are water and kids. Parents can create some outdoors splashy fun with a Wet and Wild Birthday Party. Begin by rounding up affordable items such as pool noodles kiddie pools water balloons Slip-n-Slides and even squirt guns to create fun safe and kid-friendly games. Then just add water and let the fun and splashing begin Mixing it up in the kitchen Thanks to the success of Food Network shows such as Rachael Ray s Kids Cook-off and Chopped Junior it s hipper than ever for kids to be active in the kitchen. If their parents are blessed with an abundance of patience and a big kitchen inspiring young chefs can use this gathering opportunity to exercise their culinary by re becca flansburg skills and whip up some fun b-day party treats. n today s modern world birthday parties have reached a whole new level of extravagance and imagination thanks to creative minds Party planners can create stations so kids can try a variety of recipes and get imaginative with pastries desserts and even main dishes. Not only will the party-goers have a ball everyone will enjoy eating the fruits of their labor. Giving back while you celebrate Glamping What birthday girl wouldn t want to go camping when the act itself is a completely girlie affair Glamping is a term coined by not-so-outdoor 46 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Could your child forgo gifts for the sake of helping someone in need It s a wonderful trend that is picking up steam in popularity and it s an excellent opportunity to teach children about Creating birthday memories for kids Birthday parties for kids have been around for as long as there have been kids to have parties. Back in the day birthday parties typically meant a homemade cake from Grandma a bucket of vanilla ice cream a handful of colorful balloons and some festive streamers. Oh how times have changed. I and endless resources. Here are some trends and ideas that are making waves with parental party planners. COuLD YOuR CHILD forgo gifts for the sake of helping someone in need It s a wonderful trend that is picking up steam in popularity and it s an excellent opportunity to teach children about empathy for others. empathy for others. Non-profits such as Ryan s Well an organization committed to supporting water sanitation and hygiene education in developing nations or an initiative to help the world s most vulnerable children are only two of the many groups that would welcome support in the way of money or necessities. If a child would rather support animals in need many shelters will host a party at their location and they can supply the guest list with items needed for the animals in their care in lieu of birthday gifts. The themed party As long as there are movies TV shows and toys that catch the fancy of birthday boys and girls there will be themed birthday parties. From Frozen to Minions or Minecraft to The Avengers this type of party is alive and well. Thanks to sites such as Pinterest parents can DIY everything for their child s chosen theme from party favors and games to activities that mirror the guest of honor s character of choice. And likely your local bakery can produce a themed cake as well Frugal moms can find a wealth of ideas on the web that are all designed to bring the birthday girl s or boy s hero to life. A photo booth party In this age of selfie mania it s no surprise that photo booths are considered the next big thing in birthday party fun for kids and adults alike. Parents can choose to create their own DIY photo booth with slick software such as Sparkbooth and Pocketbooth a camera and a backdrop made from a colorful tablecloth or sheet. Kids can keep busy mugging for the camera or playing dress up with a wide variety of props wigs hats and clothing items. Photo booths can work with any birthday party theme and parents who don t want to attempt the do-it-yourself option can rent a professional booth from any wedding and event-planning organization. What s most important for party planners to remember is that creating memories is of more significance than supplying your child with the biggest party and the most extravagant gifts. Special birthday details such as a family breakfast together or building excitement with a week-long countdown will remain stronger and fonder memories for them than what was in the treat bag or how many friends were present. ultimately kids want Mom and Dad to fill their love tank instead of their toy box and make their special day one they remember for years to come. hlM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 47 herlife spotlight Effortlessly update Your Wardrobe at Clothes Mentor 48 wr itt en HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM cally owned Clothes Mentor shops in Overland Park Tiffany Springs and Lee s Summit it doesn t have to Clothes Mentor is a women s resale store focused on clothing in sizes 0-26 petites plus sizes and maternity. The shops buy and resell better brand name and gently used items that are in style and in good condition. Business and casual smart and stylish apparel shoes purses and accessories are stocked in easy-to-access clearly organized segments to make your shopping experience superb. I by ci nd y m cd er m ot t ph ot og ra ph y by la ur en fri sc h pu sa te ri t shouldn t cost a fortune to have great designer clothing hanging in your closet. If you shop at your lo- Many Designers Many Choices You ll find all of your favorite brands in one place at Clothes Mentor shared Lee Gardner owner at Tiffany Springs and Lee s Summit. Our customers don t have to go to the mall and shop countless stores. We have many designers and incredibly our offerings are always changing. And we sell items 50 to 70 percent off from the original retail price. At Clothes Mentor we understand your life is always changing and those changes bring new needs for your wardrobe stated Phyllis Lord owner of the Overland Park Clothes Mentor. We help you meet your everyday lifestyle changes by growing and adapting your wardrobe in the most cost-effective way possible at Clothes Mentor. Each of the Clothes Mentor shops welcomes customers with brightly lit interiors and clothes and accessories arranged for easy view. You ll look forward to stepping through the doors at Clothes Mentor not only for the experience but for the great-looking stock offered at great prices. Every customer is warmly greeted and welcomed when they visit Clothes Mentor advised Lee. If this is your first visit we ll explain the process to you and set up an account. If you re selling clothes we ll give you a time frame that we ll need to review the clothes. We ll either pay you cash on the spot or give you customer credit which can include a bonus. Details can vary but we ll explain what s being offered that day at that location. Every day we pay you cash on the spot to purchase your better brandname gently used women s fashions and accessories promised Phyllis. unlike a consignment shop where you may wait weeks to receive payment we pay you immediately for items that we buy. Social Media Alerts Because the stock can change at a moment s notice the Clothes Mentor locations rely on social media tools to immediately alert customers to new items or specials. We have a strong use of social media and we re constantly posting on Facebook or Instagram about new items that are coming in. If we get a nice designer item we ll post it. But you better move quickly because they will be taken fast shared Phyllis. Texting is also important and we offer VIP texting. We use texting to market specific sales in the store or give gentle reminders about special offers. Our social marketing is dynamic. Every store has a Facebook page to post new products or share news of special events commented Lee. It s a great way for customers to see what we have in the store. Clothes Mentor also offers personal shoppers a service that s very popular Our social marketing is dynamic. Every store has a Facebook page to post new products or share news of special events commented Lee. It s a great way for customers to see what we have in the store. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 49 We help you meet your everyday lifestyle changes by growing and adapting your wardrobe in the most cost-effective way possible at Clothes Mentor. with the customers who use them. Customers love our personal shoppers. They fill out a questionnaire online to tell us about their body type and the type of clothes they want business casual or special occasion. Or maybe they ve lost weight and don t know what to wear remarked Phyllis. Our personal shoppers will help them find the clothes that fit their needs. Sometimes they ll bring in an article and ask us to match it up for a special occasion. This service is absolutely free for our customers. People are surprised by how enjoyable the personal shopper experience can be. The shoppers are focused on them working one on one said Lee. They can have outfits pulled together for them when the customers arrive. Quality for Customers Clothes Mentor also offers a loyalty program featuring points for purchases. Savings off of the entire purchase or highlighted items may be featured. Check with the location to learn all of the details when you sign up. Clothes Mentor offers fantastic value because of our great prices and quality. We have stringent buying requirements for the items we purchase to resell to you. Our goal is to always provide excellent customer Visit and click on the location nearest to you. Also follow them on Facebook and sign up for the VIP texting service. service said Lee. In addition we re an environmentally friendly business because we re keeping clothes out of the landfill. You re going to find great bargains on the great brands we carry at Clothes Mentor shared Phyllis. We re always willing to help a customer find something they need. No matter if you re searching for a new outfit or making some money on clothes you no longer wear the staff at your friendly Clothes Mentor locations are there for you and your closet. hlM 50 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 51 herlife culinarY Yet today more home cooks are experimenting with fermenting food. Why Maybe it s the challenge of learning a new process. Or the realization that homemade food made with fresh ingredients usually tastes better than commercially processed equivalents. But many people are inspired by the potential health benefits of fermented food. The fermentation process helps break down food pre-digesting it in a controlled way. Essentially fermentation helps food begin to rot. That sounds more scary than it does appetizing. But this controlled rot makes the vitamins and minerals in food more bio-available to the bacteria in the human digestive system. We know that having a healthy gut can promote wellness and boosts the immune system. How and why is that For the answer we need to take a look at our ancestors. Not our human ancestors but further back all the way back to the Earth s very first inhabitants bacteria. Scientists theorize that in its first two billion years this planet had a limited amount of oxygen. The only life forms that developed were anaerobic meaning they could produce energy from nutrients without relying on oxygen. The planet and its atmosphere continued to change and more complex life forms continued to develop. But bacteria became a part of both plant and animal life and microbes became a part of our bodies as mankind dined on plants and animals. Bacteria now outnumber the number of cells in the human body tenfold. There are roughly 100 trillion bacteria residing in your gut. These bacteria are responsible for breaking down food regulating energy use and producing necessary nutrients and vitamins. This job is so important and the diversity of the bacterial community so diverse that scientists now refer to gut flora as a person s microbiota. If that seems too farfetched a term to describe bacteria consider this the microbial community housed in your digestive tract may weigh up to four and a half pounds. Its composition is as unique to each person as their fingerprints. If you ve been thinking of trying a recipe for fermented food it s fairly easy. We recently enjoyed an experimental batch of kimchee. This Korean dish of fermented vegetables adds hot pepper flakes. It s a tasty condiment with a kick It s not your ordinary pickle Imagine a perfect antipasto platter filed with lovely hard cheese briny cured olives savory salami and pickled vegetables accompanied by crusty bread and a glass of wine. What is your first thought I m betting it is not Aha Fermented foods and beverages an excellent healthy choice by pat t y cook T 52 he phrase fermented food makes most people think of sauerkraut. Yet so many things people love to eat and drink are derived from a fermentation process dairy products including many cheeses yogurt and kefir breads such as sprouted wheat and sourdough beverages like soda beer and wine meats and fish ranging from salami to gravlax and pickled herring. Even vinegar and soy sauce are fermented. These foods have one thing in common. They are preserved using controlled amounts of bacteria and yeast. Fermentation was used by civilizations around the world to extend the shelf life of all kinds of food meat grains and vegetables long past its harvest. Fermentation became a lost art as we used refrigerators and freezers to safely store food. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM of heat. Here s a simple fermented vegetable recipe that requires very little skill and a minimum of tools and ingredients. The tools you ll need are a large cutting board a chef s knife a large mixing bowl a food scale and a 1-quart glass jar with a tight-fitting lid. The ingredients are about two pounds of your favorite crunchy vegetables (cabbages radishes carrots or beets) and sea salt. You can experiment with favorite seasonings such as hot pepper flakes ginger root or cardamom pods. Peel the veggies if you d like then slice chop or shred them. Weigh the vegetables then add them to the bowl with a ratio of two teaspoons of sea salt for each pound of vegetables. Vigorously massage the salt veggies and seasonings using your hands. When finished pack the mixture into the jar. use your hand or a small glass to tamp down the mix. If there is not enough liquid in the mix to cover the veggies completely add filtered water (Chlorine in tap water can prevent fermentation.). Close the jar tightly and leave at room temperature. For two or three days open the jar as needed remove any scum and keep the vegetables submerged in liquid. The mix will bubble and deepen in color as it ferments. When the flavor is to your taste put the jar in the fridge to stop the fermentation process. The vegetable mixture should keep at least two weeks. If the color or odor of fermented vegetables ever seems off discard it and make a fresh batch. hlM Sources and Katz S. E. The Art of Fermentation Chelsea Green Publishing White River Junction Vermont (2012.) HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 53 herlife cravings Carl and Susan Thorne-Thomsen Narrate their Art at search for the perfect location in which to begin the next chapter of their lives. Her search led her to Prairie Village and a vacant retail space that offered an idyllic setting for their fine dining venture. Pages turned and just over five years ago Story. opened its doors for the first time. Carl and Susan have been gaining momentum ever since. With Carl s expertise in the kitchen and Susan s business savvy they have achieved numerous industry awards and recognition. In 2014 Carl won national recognition from FOOD & WINE Magazine with the People s Best New Chef award and he was also a James Beard semifinalist for Best Chef Midwest. Earlier this year Carl and Susan were recognized by Wine Spectator Magazine with the Best of Award of Excellence for having one of the most outstanding by erin jones p h o t o g r a p hy b y lauren frisch pusateri wine lists in the world. They have a collection of approximately 1 500 bottles with about 500 wines available at any time in the restaurant. They also just received two stars from the World of Fine Wine Magazine an impressive international distinction. We are always thinking about food with wine how they go together said Carl. And then we ask what s the best we can get Carl uses locally sourced ingredients whenever possible working closely with Campo Lindo Farms for chicken Greengate Farm for eggs Rare Hare Barn for rabbit and Cultivate KC for a variety of ingredients. He also shops farmers markets for seasonal produce whenever possible. The menu constantly changes based on what is available and in season to ensure the finest quality food. Carl and Susan strive to make each guest experience a story to remember with fine food and wine superior service and elegant surroundings. Reservations are strongly encouraged on weekends since seats at these tables are in high demand. We envisioned Story to be a neighborhood restaurant we knew this area would support a fine dining restaurant. But we have been a little bit surprised that we have also E ventually the couple began to dream of opening their own restaurant. As their concept took shape Susan began the Story. Once upon a time Carl an aspiring chef began working in the kitchen of a charming caf and gourmet food store in Wichita Kansas. He was a writer with a passion for food and this was his first cooking job. Carl became acquainted with the caf s beautiful and accomplished proprietor Susan who soon noticed that Carl had a gift for making culinary art. Carl and Susan shared a mutual appreciation for fine food and world travel and so a story began to unfold. The talented pair married and traveled the world together eating their way around the globe and taking notes. Carl became a sought-after chef in Kansas City toiling in the kitchens of some of the hottest restaurants in town and working his way up through the ranks from line cook to executive chef. 54 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 55 Each menu item is artfully crafted with precision and passion. Carl is chef but first he is a storyteller and his ingredients are his words. The menu is influenced by his travels with Susan and hints of experiences memories and flavors that they wanted to bring home to their customers. On the plate Carl s creations are magnificent it was immediately apparent why Story is receiving such high honors. become a destination restaurant said Susan. It was not a surprise to me. As soon as I walked through the doors for the first time I knew I was in a very special place. It s an intimate space decorated with understated sophistication. Clean simple lines are the rule with tastefully selected pieces from local artists William Rainey and Lisa Lala adorning the walls. Since this was my first visit I was treated to a gourmet buffet of guest favorites. Carl filled my table with crisp white plates that served as canvases for his halibut ribeye ravioli and a light dessert of shortbread peaches raspberries and whipped cream. All pasta and pastries Cravings writer Erin Jones works at the Kansas City Art Institute and is also a freelance writer and portrait photographer. In addition to writing about the amazing KC food scene she also contributes to KC Parent Magazine. She is currently working on her first book part memoir and part single parenting survival guide. Erin is a mother and stepmother to four children and the family table is the hub of the household. But whether at home or out on the town Erin believes that sharing a great meal with family and friends is vital to health and happiness. are crafted in house by the staff pastry chef. This is food that tastes as beautiful as it looks and one can t help but appreciate the artistry behind the entire dining experience. Story. offers a variety of dining experiences join the email list on the website and you ll be notified of these special events. They host monthly wine dinners typically a five- or six-course meal with pairings and a guest speaker. By popular demand Wednesday night is fried chicken night. Carl serves four pieces of Campo Lindo chicken savory bread pudding with parmesan gravy and seasonal vegetables for 19. They suggest a glass of Gloria Ferrer Blanc de Noirs sparkling wine to complement the meal on special that night for 8 per glass. And every Sunday there is a Chef s Choice dinner entree special for only 10 the full menu is also available. Story. is also available for private events. They host everything from business luncheons to rehearsal dinners comfortably accommodating parties of up to 80 guests. The local national and international success of their first restaurant is not the end of the road for Carl and Susan Thorne-Thomsen. There is much more to come in their story as they plan to open a second restaurant sometime next year. They are nearly ready to embark on the adventure of writing a new chapter in their lives. I cannot wait to taste what they have in mind. hlM Visit Story. at 3931 W. 69th Terrace Prairie Village Kansas call 913236-9955 or visit to learn more. Whether she s photographing fine art and special events for the NelsonAtkins Museum of Art shooting spotlight features for HERLIFE Magazine or capturing life s most precious moments no two weeks are ever the same for Kansas City-based professional photographer Lauren Frisch Pusateri. Fueled by an entrepreneurial spirit Lauren embraces the hustle of the freelance creative life. On top of her photo business Lauren manages social marketing for a popular gastropub and co-owns operates an online women s clothing boutique 56 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM herlife foodies Celebrating fine food and drink HERLIFE is proud to share with you some of our favorite local eateries Whether you crave something sweet or savory we guarantee you ll find something to please your palate. hlM Chez Elle Creperie and Coffeehouse 1713 Summit Street Kansas City MO 816.471.2616 Chez Elle Creperie and Coffeehouse is a welcoming cafe serving fresh crepes robust coffees and friendly smiles. We start with only the freshest hand selected fruits vegetables meats cheeses and our made from scratch batters. You can see and enjoy your meal as we create our crepes right in front of you The Grille at Park Place 5270 W 116th Pl Leawood KS 66211 (913) 766-0920 The Grille at Park Place is a contemporary American dining experience. The neighborhood feel and traditional menu favorites make The Grille at Park Place a true lunch and dinner destination. Be sure and check out The Rooftop at The Grille with lounge seating and a retractable roof to enjoy your evening over a Rooftop menu and drinks. Piropos Restaurant 4141 N Mulberry Dr Kansas City MO 816.741.3600 Buenos Aires is known for fine food served in a warm relaxed atmosphere. That s the environment recreated at Piropos Restaurant in Briarcliff Village perched in the rolling hills overlooking downtown Kansas City. Piropos offers a unique dining and viewing experience for those visiting the city. The Well Bar Grill & Rooftop 7421 Broadway Street Kansas City MO 64114 The Well offers full-service food and beverage catering -- from casual parties to elegant celebrations from cocktails and appetizers to full breakfast lunch or dinner menus. Choose from a selection of private spaces including our expansive rooftop patio Visit for full details. Stroud s Catering 913.563.5799 catering At Stroud s Catering we create unforgettable events by exceeding expectations with delicious food superior service and exceptional value. From corporate lunches to extravagant weddings you can rely on our well-trained and experienced team to capture every detail and make your event a worry-free success. Want your guests to experience the magic of our pan-fried chicken We ll bring our famous cast iron skillets to you and pan-fry on-site 58 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Mama Resch s A Gluten-Free Bakery 12635 Metcalf Avenue Overland Park KS 913.213.5355 Mama Resch s is a gluten-free and allergen friendly bakery. We bake from scratch daily and specialize in hand-crafted small batch breads and gourmet sweets and treats. Our products are free from gluten dairy corn soy peanuts and tree nuts. No artificial colors or preservatives. Welcome to the gluten free revolution HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 59 herlife recipes Fire-roasted chicken enchiladas Serves 8 Prep time 20 minutes Cook time 25 minutes 1 can (15 ounces) fire-roasted diced tomatoes cup vegetable oil 2 tablespoons flour 1 tablespoon chili powder 1 cup low sodium chicken broth teaspoon cumin teaspoon garlic salt teaspoon onion powder ingredients 2 cups shredded rotisserie chicken skin discarded Kernels from 1 ear grilled corn (about cup) cup black beans 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese 8 good-quality corn tortillas Sour cream optional Cilantro optional directions Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly coat a 9x13 dish with cooking spray. For the enchilada sauce place diced tomatoes in a blender and process until smooth. In a large skillet heat oil over medium whisk in the flour and chili powder until smooth. Add tomatoes chicken broth and spices. Whisk to combine simmer until slightly thickened. Pour 1 4 cup sauce in the bottom of the casserole dish. Mix together chicken corn and black beans. Place a heaping 1 4 cup of the filling on each tortilla along with 2 tablespoons of cheese. Roll each tortilla up and place seam-side down in the casserole dish. Cover with remaining sauce and cheese. Bake for 25 minutes until cheese is melted and bubbly. Serve with cilantro and sour cream if desired. hlM recipes and p hot ogr ap hy by b elly 60 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM The best all-purpose taco filling Serves 4 Prep time 10 minutes Cook time 5 minutes ingredients 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil 1 pound lean ground beef 1 small sweet onion finely diced Salt and pepper 1 packet (1 ounce) taco seasoning (about 3 tablespoons) 1 cup black beans rinsed and drained 2 cups roughly chopped baby spinach leaves directions Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the beef and onion saut breaking up the meat with a wooden spoon as it cooks until no pink remains about 3 minutes. Season with a touch of salt and pepper. Drain off fat. Return to heat and thoroughly mix in the taco seasoning. Add in the beans and spinach cook until the spinach wilts and the beans are warmed through. use in any Mexicaninspired recipe you like hlM recipes and p hot ogr ap hy by b elly HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 61 herlife Wine Do you viognier Is it a dance move a color or architectural discipline Just saying the name of this wine makes you feel more stylish doesn t it Say it aloud vee-oh-NYAY. by me l i ss a haines lavin alcohol levels are too high without enough acid to balance the wine yet colder climates that don t heat up adequately prevent the grapes from ripening at all. It s a challenge to find exactly the right place to plant viognier vines. In the old days farmers might plant their syrah and viognier vines right next to each other creating quite the blending opportunity when both varietals receive the same exposure to sunlight rainfall fog elevation and minerals from the soil. Despite the challenges viognier vineyards are now firmly planted in Italy Argentina Chile Australia New Zealand South Africa and British Columbia as well as Washington Oregon and California it s proven itself to be a tough and persevering grape. In California alone the grape thrives in varying heat cold soils moisture and elevations from southern areas of Temecula all the way up the West coast through Santa Barbara Sonoma and Napa. Across the united V iognier may be mispronounced misunderstood and misjudged but because of viognier s thick skin it hopes you ll come around one day to enjoy the properties of this delicious and often delicately complex wine that originated in the Rh ne region of France. Easily overlooked on the restaurant wine list viognier is worth your attention by the glass or bottle. Viognier comes in a variety of styles from fruit forward and perfumed to tropical and floral. Even the color of bottled viognier can vary along with the balance of sweetness to body. And it s quite the enigma that this green-skinned wine grape has thrived so well in such different worldwide environments far away from its origin. Of the 22 types of Rh ne wine varieties it s easy to understand why viognier can be viewed as the current darling of white wines. The wine drinker who may have a dislike of chardonnay due to its typical oak or acidic characteristics is often pleasantly surprised at the discovery of viognier. The varietal can be light and crisp on the palate with hints of jasmine nectarine and honey or a little bolder with spicy exotic aromas that hold up against smoked fish spicy sushi rich cheeses and sauces. As with chardonnay some winemakers will allow the harvested viognier to go through malolactic fermentation which will give the wine more weight and body and lowers the acidity as well. Growing viognier can be tricky and requires a bit of tenacity from the vineyard owner. The grape clusters can grow unevenly causing uneven ripeness. If the grapes ripen too quickly the sugar and 62 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM OF THE 22 TYPES of Rh ne wine varieties it s easy to understand why viognier can be viewed as the current darling of white wines. The wine drinker who may have a dislike of chardonnay due to its typical oak or acidic characteristics is often pleasantly surprised at the discovery of viognier. States viognier grapes are grown in the AVAs of Colorado Georgia Illinois Kentucky Maryland Missouri North Carolina South Carolina and the Shenandoah Valley to mention just a few. The viognier wines from these varied regions are both flexible and complex enough to keep the interest of winemakers and wine enthusiasts alike. Viognier is uncomplicated yet classy enough for any occasion. Keeping a mid-priced viognier available in the chiller can be the perfect solution to impromptu dinner guests or last-minute hosting gifts. Both cork and screw top enclosures maintain the integrity of the wine while it s stored in cool areas. Some of this writer s favorite viognier wines are blended with chenin blanc which naturally contains a higher level of acid that provides great balance to the exotica of the viognier. For a special treat look for late harvest viognier a dessert wine made of the most ripe viognier grapes left on the vines through October and November. The wine is then chilled and filtered so it does not continue to ripen in the bottle producing a nectar-like delight. It s frequently described as having fig apricot marmalade banana and tropical fruit flavors with a creamy finish. September weather still retains a bit of heat while the evenings cool with those post-summer breezes signify the gradual change of seasons. With the advent of fall vegetables as an accompaniment viognier can be a lovely chiller enjoyed as you prepare the main meal or while you re enjoying the evening twilight. This is a year-round wine that is well rounded and balanced. Now when someone asks Do you viognier you can safely say Yes please hlM Sources and TIPS For ENjoyING VIoGNIEr Now that you ve discovered this delightful wine expand your viognier experience with fragrance and flavor. Serve it chilled swirl and taste tangerine stone fruits honey and citrus zest. Notice the aroma of violet jasmine allspice and clove. Pair with something different - Seared tuna sushi sashimi - Shellfish such as crab prawns scallops and lobster scampi style or grilled - Spice-rubbed chicken turkey salmon or sturgeon. - Roasted vegetables such as carrots turnips and squash - Cream sauces with warm aromatic spices - Moroccan and Ethiopian dishes such as tagines - Mild curries of Indian or Southeast Asian cuisine HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 63 herlife booK club Ballad of the Black and Blue Mind By Anne Roiphe Critic Sally Eckoff describes Anne Roiphe as a free-thinking welter of contradictions a never-say-die feminist who s absolutely nuts about children. Roiphe published her first novel Digging Out in 1967 and contributes essays and reviews to The New York Times The New York Times Magazine New York Magazine and others. r ev iew by li n d a r. p ri c e B allad of the Black and Blue Mind by Anne Roiphe is a novel about the inner workings of New York City psychoanalysts. Dr. of Dr. Berman s life as Justine s boyfriend does hers. Justine s shoplifting seems to become more intense when her boyfriend isn t around. Anna is another patient. Her parents are respected academics. Anna goes away to college but shortly into the second semester she returns home to stay. Her parents are at a loss to understand their daughter. Dr. Berman believes Anna is depressed but she doesn t know what is causing the depression. Anna doesn t talk. Soon however Dr. Berman discovers that Anna is a cutter and she wonders if she has the energy to take on this long treatment. Mike Wilson is a new elderly patient of Dr. H s. Mike is mourning the loss of his wife a year earlier. He has given up content with his life and ready to die but not just yet. As Dr. H probes he finds that Mike is more upset about the loss of his son Ivan than his wife s death. Ivan was the perfect son he made good grades played tennis and went to his second choice of colleges. The problem was Ivan also did something ungodly and fled the country. The stories with the patients are woven into the narrative of the lives of the psychoanalysts. As Dr. Berman struggles with her declining memory she forgets patients names she struggles to remember the reason patients are coming to her and she drifts off into sleep or daydreams in meetings with her colleagues. As she continues to decline in her professional duties and her personal life Dr. Berman sees fewer and fewer patients. Eventually there are no patients and her son Gerald comes home to live with her again. The novel oscillates between the story of the lives of the practicing psychoanalysts and the therapy sessions they conduct with their patients an interesting juxtaposition through which the reader becomes involved in the mysteries of life as it plays out on two different levels. The reader roots for the patients whose lives you only see in brief unresolved glimpses. Their stories are short and incomplete. On a different level the reader can see how Estelle Berman is a distinguished analyst whose health is beginning to decline. She is observed clinically by her colleagues Dr. H and Dr. Z. The two psychoanalysts sit on the sidelines observing Berman s follies but they do not intervene. They treat her as they would a patient but she isn t their patient. Dr. Berman continues to treat patients and what a cast they are First there is the movie star daughter of Dr. Gordon a colleague. Justine ne Betty is a shoplifter. She stole a fur coat because she really didn t approve of buying one. That would support the killing of innocent animals. She gave Dr. Berman a headache. As her therapy continues Justine misses appointments calls Dr. Berman at two a.m. to recount a trivial childhood memory about sex and gifts Dr. Berman a necklace that she probably stole from Cartier s. Justine weaves in and out 64 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM psychoanalysts work what their failings are what their family lives are like and how they are trained. You worry about Dr. Berman as Alzheimer s slowly takes control of her brilliant mind. While the illness is always present Roiphe doesn t dwell on Alzheimer s. The climax comes as a surprise and it is horrific. The novel leaves many issues unresolved. The patients drift in and out of the novel just as they would in the real world where analysts see them only once twice or perhaps three times a week. Sometimes they quit and don t return for their sessions. But always they worry about their children. Did we train her correctly so she can enter the best school How did we go wrong Why is he or she acting like this Does she resent us hate us And the analysts try to find out what hidden issues are causing the parents worry and the children s grief. All too often there is no correct answer. There are no certainties in life. Tornadoes happen planes crash and children who don t have spectacular scores on their entrance exams are not admitted to exclusive pre-schools. Anne Roiphe is an accomplished novelist with 18 fiction and nonfiction books to her credit. She is a feminist who argues that women should be able to enjoy motherhood and work at the same time. However she does not advocate daycare as a solution. Nor does she believe that women should do what men have always done enjoy their children only on weekends. Rather she argues that women should consider the entire life span with the early years being devoted to children and family and the later years devoted to career. Her novel Up the Sandbox was made into a highly acclaimed movie with Barbra Streisand. hlM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 65 herlife trendsetter 5 6 0 1 W. 1 3 5 t h s t r e e t o v e r l a n d pa r k K s 9 1 3 . 2 9 1 . 0 3 7 5 p h o t o g r a p hy b y h e a t h e r m o r r o w model briana potter of voices& h a i r b y k y l a h o r t o n a n d we n d y s t e i n n a ge l o f o l i v e r s h a i r s a l o n makeup by lora devine top luxe silk top ty-lr denim p r i m e c h e a p m o n d ay shoes galia loeffler randall 66 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM top s h e r i f f s h i r t b e c & b r i d ge denim t o m b oy c r o p a m o HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 67 top meta vest emerson fr y denim p r i m e c h e a p m o n d ay shoes a m b e r l o e f f l e r r a n d a l l bag b r a d y t h e s t o we 68 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM top p h o e n i x b l o u s e b e c & b r i d ge HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 69 top v-back blouse emerson fr y skir t m o n t a n a s k i r t b e c & b r i d ge necklace c o l l a r a a n a j a n a k i s bag medium clutch - baggu 70 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM dress m o n t a n a s l e e v e l e s s d r e s s b e c & b r i d ge HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 71 top oversize poncho objects without meaning denim kate amo 72 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM dress d o l l y s w i n g d r e s s b e c & b r i d ge bag m i n i c h a r l o t t e t h e s t o we shoes carmen loeffler randall HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 73 74 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 75 herlife green living Bikes can be picked up and returned at any corral throughout the city. As San Antonio s bikeshare system BCycle explains on its website the docking station system is convenient in that it provides a bike that s there when you need it and gone when you don t. There s no more worrying about where you can lock up your bike you can drop it off at a station close to your destination Effect on cities The benefits of bike-sharing programs are numerous. With more people cycling there are fewer cars on the road reducing traffic congestion and harmful carbon emissions from engines. Divvy Chicago s bike-share system had more than 750 000 trips in its first year. Each of those 750 000 trips meant there was one less person riding in a car or bus. There are obvious physical benefits as well having bikes available at a moment s notice promotes physical activity Bringing back biking When was the last time you rode a bike There s nothing quite like it with the cool breeze scenery whizzing by as your feet pedal you toward your destination. If you live in a congested city you may be hard-pressed to remember--unless your city has jumped on the bikesharing bandwagon. by a l l i son tur nberg for people of all ages. If the program is municipally owned it becomes a source of revenue that can be put back into the community. Finally biking is more cost efficient than owning a car with an annual cost comparable to that of monthly public transportation passes which explains its popularity with young people who are just starting out in their careers. Tips and tricks Safety should always be top of mind when bikes are involved. The Huffington Post notes that crashes are increasing with the rise in popularity of these programs. Having more bikes on the road means that cities must adapt in order to accommodate and increase safety measures for cars and bikes alike which is leading to more bike- and pedestrian-friendly cities. While many cities have already added safer bike lanes to major roads it s important to be aware of your surroundings at all times whether you re the one on the bike or in the car. Wear appropriate safety gear and clothing to prevent injuries in case of a fall or an accident. The u.S. has 2 655 bike-share stations in 65 cities according to the u.S. Department of Transportation. If your city has a bike-sharing system you ll want to be prepared before you put your feet on the pedals. Check your city s B iking has seen a surge in popularity over the last few years it s become an increasingly common mode of transportation for people in cities across the country as they look to save money cut back on their carbon footprint or seek to live a more active lifestyle. This trend combined with sharing economy models we ve seen in companies such as uber Airbnb and others have led to bike-sharing programs popping up across the country. Many cities including Minneapolis Denver Chicago San Antonio and New York City have adopted bike-sharing programs to cater to those who don t own a bike but still want to enjoy the benefits of biking. The basics Bike-sharing programs can take many different forms. Municipal bike-sharing programs are funded by local jurisdictions such as cities or counties and are becoming increasingly common. Colleges and universities can implement their own programs and private for-profit bike-sharing companies are popping up as well mostly on the campuses of large corporations such as Google and Facebook according to the Commercial Real Estate Development Association. Whether the programs are privately owned or run through a municipality they generally follow the bike corral or docking station format. Stations with bikes for rent are set up throughout the area and anyone can borrow a bike through the purchase of either memberships or timed rentals. 76 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM WHILE MANY CITIES have already added safer bike lanes to major roads it s important to be aware of your surroundings at all times whether you re the one on the bike or in the car. bike-sharing program website to see if it offers helmet rentals. While renting a helmet is sometimes an option it may be more cost effective to buy your own if you plan on biking regularly. You should also keep in mind that there may be overtime fees so read the fine print and keep your eye on the clock. Follow the rules of the road to avoid any dangerous situations. Finally you should plan your route ahead of time so you can be sure to find a nearby station to drop the bike off when you re done if you re not biking round-trip. With bike-sharing programs popping up across the country you re sure to see one in your city soon if you haven t already. Try it out for a fun weekend activity or make it a part of your daily commute. With benefits such as reduced carbon emissions lessened traffic congestion and more encouragement toward active lifestyles there s no reason not to try out this mode of transportation. hlM Sources gov and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 77 herlife spotlight Brain Balance Centers Achieve Solutions for Children and Parents b y c i n d y m c d e r m o t t p h o t o g r a p hy b y l a u r e n f r i s c h p u s a t e r i I know this stuff but why won t it stick in my brain I guess I m dumb. H is words break your heart. Your child is struggling in school unable to comprehend the basics that most children have already mastered. His grades are dropping along with his self-esteem. Butler Missouri resident and mother Pam Craft heard these words from her 11-year-old son Rains but standardized testing results showed that he was a bright young boy. He possessed the capability but his schoolwork was suffering. Pam knew that something was not right. Testing showed that Rains was a smart boy but he was having problems in school and falling further behind recalled Pam. At first we thought it was his sight because teachers noted his eyes weren t tracking together as he read. But we discovered that wasn t the solution. He continued to struggle while my husband and I searched for answers. Last year was very hard for Rains and his parents. Every night they spent three hours together working on homework. His math reading and spelling continued to deteriorate. He had trouble concentrating in class and sitting still. Eventually Rains was diagnosed with primitive reflexes which means that the back of his brain was underdeveloped. Babies are naturally born with these reflexes but as the brain matures these reflexes integrate. For Rains these reflexes did not integrate correctly. Finding the right Direction When we received that diagnosis I began researching primitive reflexes on the internet. Every link that I found sent me to Brain Balance she recalled. I contacted the center in Overland Park with the hope they could help my son. Brain Balance Achievement Centers offer a cutting-edge drug-free approach to help children with academics behavior and socialization. Brain Balance serves a population of children with or without a diagnosis but commonly sees children who have been diagnosed with ADHD Asperger s autism sensory processing and many other neuro-behavioral disorders. Essentially Brain Balance addresses the root cause of the child s struggles by improving brain function. The Brain Balance Program integrates three key areas of brain development sensory motor and cognitive activities along 78 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Brain Balance is a wonderful program and the staff is there for you. When you have questions they answer them shared Pam. It s comforting for me knowing Rains is getting help and I can see the improvements. I m actually anxious for the school year to start for him. Brain Balance has given me hope. with nutritional guidance. The nutrition program Balance 360 gives families step-by-step guidance toward a clean eating system. This integrated approach is what makes Brain Balance unique and very effective. The program is about restoring balance between the right and left sides of the brain so they re in sync and working together shared Pam. We are in our second session with Brain Balance driving nearly 120 miles for each of those sessions. But we ve seen the improvement it s worth it. Total Family Involvement Each child receives an individualized program that incorporates sensory motor and cognitive programming. In addition families commit to a HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 79 the child s challenges. While the child is undergoing the evaluation parents have the opportunity to provide additional insight. Within two to three days of the assessment parents meet with Rebecca Banks center director and review the collected data. The result is a comprehensive individualized program addressing the child s challenges with the goal of reducing or eliminating the symptoms. Successful Solutions Rains is approaching the end of his time at Brain Balance and Pam is extremely satisfied with the outcomes. At the end of the fourth quarter last year he made the B honor roll and received an award for his improvement. This is huge for him noted Pam. Brain Balance has given him the confidence to know he can succeed. Pam has already recommended Brain Balance to other parents. However she stresses to them that the program is a commitment for the entire supplemental home program. Brain Balance is a joint commitment that leads to a healthier and active lifestyle for the whole family and ultimately improves the child s quality of life. The Brain Balance whole-child approach begins with a comprehensive assessment to evaluate the child s strengths and weaknesses. The assessment determines if there is a functional disconnection between the two hemispheres of the brain. As an objective and quantifiable measurement of each area of function is made motor sensory behavioral social emotional and cognitive more than 900 different functions are assessed in a single three- to four-hour session. It allows the staff to better understand Visit the center at 6406 College Blvd. Overland Park Kansas call 913627-9400 or visit the website at family not just the child. Overall she s pleased with the results and Rains is a much happier child because he s succeeding. Brain Balance is a wonderful program and the staff is there for you. When you have questions they answer them shared Pam. It s comforting for me knowing Rains is getting help and I can see the improvements. I m actually anxious for the school year to start for him. Brain Balance has given me hope. hlM 80 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM herlife fine things Choose your statement wisely Imagine yourself trying to make a statement without speaking. Sounds easy right Not really. However as women we do this every day. We grab those pink pumps layer on the maroon lipstick and shimmy into a floral dress. We choose an outfit that shouts Hey this is me and I m feeling ___ today frequently without putting any thought into it. by h a l ey vickers the first place. We scramble through our closets trying to find the perfect shirt for the day and we end up wearing something plain and misleading that doesn t describe us at all. We exhaust ourselves trying to express our individual personalities when in reality a simple expressive statement can be made with just one stylish trendy jewelry piece. The classic statement necklace is big bold and bulky. With bright colors and different textures one necklace can complete a look with the snap of a clasp. Statement jewelry can be traced back to the Egyptians and Romans for whom it displayed wealth and status often as spiral bracelets pendant necklaces and belt buckles. The trend continued into the Victorian Era and has had a resurgence in today s fashion. Statement jewelry can be a large ring dangling over-the-top earrings or an oversized colorful necklace that plays up your look. W 82 e put on high heels that create blisters to dress to impress and stand out in the gray boringness surrounding us. We wear uncomfortable skirts and tuck blouses in even when breathing seems impossible. We spend an hour trying to perfect our makeup and we try not to burn ourselves on our straightening iron. Our mothers may have taught us Beauty is pain after all. And by nature we live by that. Sometimes the pieces we wear don t portray exactly what we are trying to say about ourselves in HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM THE LAYERED LOOK for necklaces is strong for 2016 into the coming year. Strands of semiprecious stones glass pearls and mixed metals that can be added and subtracted give the wearer versatility closures that allow variation in the length from choker to long and loose are a plus. The statement necklace can be found everywhere from top designers to department stores and the locally owned fashion boutique you love. They re a hot item for girls and women who are craving a little extra bling to complete the perfect outfit. The layered look for necklaces is strong for 2016 into the coming year. Strands of semiprecious stones glass pearls and mixed metals that can be added and subtracted give the wearer versatility closures that allow variation in the length from choker to long and loose are a plus. Tassel pendants are a look that s pulled from the interior design industry some are leather some are cotton or rayon others are tassels of delicate metal chain or strands of tiny precious and semi-precious stones. The bib necklace offers a nod to art deco and modernist styling. The built-up yet versatile designs that combine oxidized silver wire of varied HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 83 gauges Swarovski crystals and adjustable closures from Dylanlex offer a monochromatic palette. On the other hand enamel 12-karat gold plated metal and semi-precious stones give Kate Spade s designs gorgeous color to enhance your style and look. Certainly these designers and others can provide the over-the-top magical necklaces that women crave. However similar designs can be found a little closer to home often crafted by local artisans. And the best part If you like you can make your own statement jewelry. At local craft stores you can choose jewels and gems to make your own jewelry. You have the power to make your necklace as flashy or as subtle as you wish. Need a necklace to match a blue top Create a white and silver necklace for a good complement piece with a little sparkle and flair. If you wear a detailed necklace it s a good idea to avoid a printed shirt or accessories that may clash and take attention away from the necklace itself. Sometimes simplicity is gold. However if you have a solid or monochromatic statement necklace it s a totally different ball game. A teal necklace with a cheetah print shirt might really be something to talk about. Try to keep it simple with the rest of your jewelry. The point is to bring the attention upward toward your neck and face not down to the chunky bracelets on your wrist. As with clothing rock a denim shirt or vest a solid colored dress or even some overalls. Dress it up dress it down. It s all up to you. If you re feeling sassy layer it under a collared shirt with a necklace that lies higher on the neck. If you re going for a classier look a maxi dress is the perfect way to feel comfortable and stylish at the same time. But if you re looking for full-blown diva most necklaces can be worn with a dress and heels to perfect an already fabulous look. Making a statement every day can be easy. With a statement necklace and a glimmer of inspiration your look can be everything you hoped and more so you can express yourself effortlessly. hlM Sources and 84 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 85 herlife spotlight Heather Morrow Conveying Emotion and Art through Photography Successful storytelling requires an amazing craftsman who weaves together words or images that compel and engage the reader. Conveying those messages whether they are written or visual means the creator has spent time understanding the subject and then translating it into the medium of choice. When it comes to photography Heather Morrow prides herself on digging deep to uncover that story parlaying it into beautiful photographic works of art. wri t t e n by cindy mcder mot t b e hi n d the scenes photos by laur en f r i sc h pusateri A desire. fter an impressive career of 13 years in the photography business many as the lead photographer for HERLIFE Magazine Heather large and small companies and governmental agencies in the community. Heather believes she carries a unique angle to every job. The commercial photography world is predominantly male but I don t see my gender as a disadvantage noted Heather. As a woman I make a lot of purchases and I easily identify with brands that are targeted toward women. I m able to fully grasp the message behind a brand and as a woman I also understand how the consumer will relate to that message. That gives me an edge and my clients see value in the fact that I can tell their story in the most effective artistic way. Grounded in Experience No matter if it s commercial photography or editorial work such as the covers of HERLIFE Magazine Heather s ability to work with others whether it s the client the staff or the models and to connect them to the final outcome is key to her success. In addition she brings an impressive skill set that s been garnered as she worked her way through the business. has built a stellar client list that includes a who s who of the community and business world of KC. Whether she s shooting a product models or head shots of executives she s able to envision the final outcome from a client s perspective achieving the results they Capturing Character It s fun for me because I m such a people person. I m very curious and inquisitive and I like to know what makes people tick. I want to get to know their story and that helps me bring out the personalities of the people I photograph commented Heather. In addition you have to be able to go with the flow because things can go awry. You have to be flexible and make decisions on the fly as you adapt to and overcome anything that comes your way. While her business was founded on capturing portraits of her clients she s a very accomplished commercial photographer as well working with both 86 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM I have the benefit of having been in the roles of producer on-set art director wardrobe stylist and photographer. This experience gives me a greater appreciation for how large-scale shoots come together and for the people who have those jobs she remarked. It s also taught me how to problem solve during a shoot. Maybe the light isn t quite right or maybe the weather isn t cooperating. With my experience I have a backup plan ready to go. It s critical that I m prepared flexible and willing to work through issues. relationship and Trust Lauren Shreve creative director Silpada Designs an international jewelry company based in Lenexa Kansas has worked with Heather through the years. Heather s work was featured in its lifestyle photos that included models sporting the jewelry. Heather started working for us on our 2014 holiday catalog and has shot our lifestyle HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 87 I work really hard but I have a lot of fun doing my job. she shared. It s important to me that my clients have a good time enjoy working with me and most of all receive phenomenal photos that tell their story. images since then recalled Lauren. She didn t just show up and take the photos she brought creative ideas to the table and was a master at directing the models. I ve been at Silpada for ten years working with dozens of photogs and I ve never worked with someone who s so fun. She doesn t get frustrated and her spirit is warm and welcoming. Heather s fine workmanship is echoed by Karrie Kaneda owner of Happy Habitat who designs and markets beautiful throws and blankets created in the uSA from recycled cotton. Karrie relies on Heather s remarkable skills to showcase her fine merchandise and to artistically convey the message behind her brand. Heather takes product and lifestyle shots of my throws and blankets which I use on my website and social media noted Karrie. Good quality photos go a long way for me because that s what helps me sell my product. Her attention to detail is amazing and she ll spot things that most would miss. People ask me who does my photography because the shots are so bright and clear. Heather s amazing. If your next project requires a photographer who thinks outside the To learn more about Heather s work visit her website at Facebook at heathermorrowphoto and Instagram at heathermorrowphoto. box and who understands how to craft a beautiful photo that conveys a distinct message Heather s the one. Her creativity is second to none she knows how to invoke emotions that sell a mood and lifestyle all the while ensuring the process is enjoyable for all. I work really hard but I have a lot of fun doing my job. she shared. It s important to me that my clients have a good time enjoy working with me and most of all receive phenomenal photos that tell their story. hlM 88 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 89 herlife WorKing Women Today s a gift that s why they call it the present Where did the day go How often I ve asked myself that question. What did I accomplish or cross off that endlessly self-renewing to-do list by ma r i lyn is aminger Aggravate yourself What can t you do because you don t have time to do it Think about it and get angry about it. When you can identify what you want to do with the time you find you ll be ready to move forward. T here are hundreds of systems and tips for time management strategies floating around business magazines and the Inter- Substantiate your activity Track everything you do for two weeks to a month. Write down every activity and the length of time it takes. It may help to chart it into the three busiest sections of your day typically morning afternoon and evening. This will include personal business and family activities and it may range from personal grooming cooking and cleaning to exercise and study time and work tasks. It may be that you want to free up time during your work day or time during your personal net. Perhaps you re dissatisfied with the system you re using perhaps your slate of responsibilities has recently intensified. Or it may be that you feel that you just fly by the seat of your pants every day running in place. If so here are some thought starters that may get you onto a new track of organization 90 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM THE MOST POWERFuL word in the English language is No If a request for your time puts you on overload use it. hours. This will help identify time wasters too such as switching to Facebook while you work. Evaluate the results Do you see that you re taking too long to do certain things Could this be because you don t have a realistic activity plan that assigns appropriate time limits to tasks Can you do any task less frequently or delegate it Consider your habits do you procrastinate Are you easily distracted Do you allow interruptions or lack a suitable system for managing them Educate yourself Look at the day planner systems on the market and talk with the women within your professional and personal networks about the systems they use. Originate your own if you like. It s easy enough to set up a calendar with prioritized lists in a spreadsheet or word processing program. If you re determined to train yourself to follow a new pattern remember that it takes a minimum of 30 days to create a new habit. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 91 Get motivated What s key is to be motivated to set limits draw boundaries and determine when you will permit interruptions. The most powerful word in the English language is No If a request for your time puts you on overload use it. When an interrupter requests your time politely respond that they don t want to talk with you right now because you re too distracted and can t respond appropriately to their needs. How the people around you treat your time which for entrepreneurs and freelance workers is the equivalent of money will depend on your ability to set boundaries. Anticipate overruns Since life doesn t always follow a clock or a schedule know that almost everything will take more time than you expect or think it will. If every minute of the day is scheduled an unexpected delay or an emergency can result in a snowball-headed-downhill effect that could impact your clients co-workers and even family schedules. Build in a cushion by planning only 45 minutes of every hour and allow at least three hours each week for something unforeseen. Get it in writing Every expert in business planning and goal setting is clear you need to know what is important for you to do and how much time it will take to do it. Clarifying activities goals time required for each and then developing time lines for accomplishing each one can be the important first step toward achieving effective time management. Separate When goals are identified determine what is urgent a task that must be done because of an immediate or planned deadline and what is important an activity that relates to your business plan and priorities. Keep social and business functions separate although it is possible that they may overlap to some extent particularly if your business network allows you to build friendships across your industry. Both can be scheduled and prioritized but make sure you don t procrastinate the items relegated to the urgent column. Allow adequate time for both. And make sure that you schedule quiet time or the time you need for rest and rejuvenation. Congratulate yourself When you have taken the time to be analytical to discover what you do well now and what you can improve on it s time to celebrate. You re not confusing activity with achievement and you re reaching the deadlines and objectives that you have set. Keep in mind that you may need to tweak your system a little bit as you go and remember that one of the most important keys to time management is to maintain a positive reflective attitude that moves you forward. hlM Sources and the constantly evolving time-crunching systems of the writer. 92 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 93 herlife finance information deeds mortgages pay stubs W-2s income tax returns brokerage accounts car titles all types of retirement accounts insurance policies and even gifts you ve received from your family. If you don t have records you can t prove your ownership. You may even be able to recoup some of the money you spent putting your ex through school...if you can find the records. If your spouse owns a business no matter how small dig into as many records as you can find. If you see any discrepancy or spot excess money unaccounted for it may be best to hire a forensic accountant who is trained to find hidden money. Don t assume your spouse has been honest with you about his finances. A financial expert can also advise you of the tax consequences of your settlement to determine if you are getting the best settlement. Do you have a right to part of your spouse s retirement account Should you keep the brokerage account and give up a piece of property Should you get the house or the beach vacation house And if there s a chance that your past joint tax returns omitted income or overstated deductions you may want to seek an indemnification clause to protect yourself if the IRS decides to audit. Be as dispassionate as possible. Only discuss business with your lawyer or accountant since they are charging you an hourly fee. And keep in mind that they are only your advisors. All of the final decisions are yours to make. So be as vigilant as possible and take an active role in the divorce. Work with your ex as much as possible for a practical conclusion instead of leaving it up to the attorneys to handle everything. This way you will have less conflict with your ex after the divorce. Some states require collaborative divorce processes particularly when children are involved check the credentials and experience of the attorney you choose in this situation. This is certainly not to say you shouldn t fight for what is yours. Don t be sensitive about making waves treading lightly might lead to your giving up more than your fair share of marital assets or future income. You must insist on getting what you need and deserve to ensure a stable future for you and your children. Most states have laws that require equitable distribution of Can you afford a divorce If you are one of the almost two million women thinking of getting a divorce this year one of your first concerns should be your financial plan of survival. Believe it or not many women reach a breaking point and pack up their bags to leave without any plan. Don t do this by t i n a v. savas T he most important step a woman can take in this situation is to make certain she is prepared. Sure it s an emotional time but you have to let go of emotion and fear and take control. Divorce is a complicated and expensive process especially if it drags on for years. Ex- penses will start to pile up as soon as the process begins. In addition to legal fees and court costs you and your soon-to-be-former husband will now be faced with two households to support on the same budget you shared before not to mention possible cash drains such as medical emergencies or lost wages creeping in. It s better for you to begin amassing as much cash as possible before the process even begins. If you don t have credit established in your name get your own bank account. You will surely find it difficult to buy a home a car or take care of any other necessities after the divorce if you don t have a credit history or a credit report. Read as many books as possible about divorce but also consult with legal and financial professionals. This is not the time to skimp and do it yourself. These pros can advise you on community property your rights for Social Security benefits how to find hidden assets how to get the best settlement and more. Documentation is paramount. If you re not accustomed to handling the family finances be sure to locate and make copies of everything loans trusts wills credit card statements bank account 94 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM A FINANCIAL ExPERT can also advise you of the tax consequences of your settlement to determine if you are getting the best arrangement. Do you have a right to part of your spouse s retirement account Should you keep the brokerage account and give up a piece of property assets acquired during the marriage but this is always an area in which you should seek legal advice. If you put your career on hold during your marriage or chose to be a stay-at-home mom it s important to create an income stream for yourself and your children. Perhaps you can seek out career counseling at a local college or job center before the divorce process and prepare for the possible expense of going back to school for a new career or a refresher degree. A divorce is an emotionally wrenching experience. Just remember to deal in facts and figures. Prepare as much as possible ahead of time and lean on professionals you trust who will work to protect you as much as possible through the entire process. hlM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 95 herlife asK the expert p h o to gra p hy by p a u l b o n n i c son ph o t o gr a phy Personalizing your home Working with an interior designer QuESTION What should your interior designer s top priority be when determining the design of your home QuESTION We re thinking of building a new home. At what point in the building process is it ideal to bring in an interior designer ANSWER It should be to individualize the design to the client. My main goal is always to create a personalized comfortable space. I want every client s home to be unique and the easiest way to do that is by listening to the homeowner and making sure I m incorporating all their favorite elements and creating the design from all the things they love. ANSWER The sooner the better We have great recommendations for architects and builders so you can even call us first We will attend all your architect and builder meetings and offer a unique perspective on how to make your home both functional and beautiful. We design even the smallest details down to your HVAC layout and placement of light switches We work as the liaison between you your home builder and your subcontractors. hlM Erin Mankameyer is co-owner of Groover Interior Design a full-service interior design and decorating firm servicing Overland Park Shawnee Olathe Leawood and surrounding areas. With a degree from Ku in interior design Erin is focused on making the lives of homeowners easier and also making the final project they live in beautiful. Groover Interior Design is located at 15041 Nall Avenue in Leawood Kansas contact Erin at 913-689-0844. p h o to by h e a t h e r m o r r ow 96 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Meet Cheryl and find out how she met her new primary care doctor. 1 2 3 Last year Cheryl made a delicious discovery gourmet food trucks. Today she made a new one. She discovered that can help her find the primary care doctor she deserves. After answering a few quick questions about her health care preferences and lifestyle Cheryl received a list of highly qualified doctors in the Shawnee Mission Health network who match her needs. Turns out Dr. Madsen is the doctor who Cheryl feels best about. (Bonus Her office is on Cheryl s way to work.) Lisa Madsen MD It s a match made in health care. HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 97 Kansas City s only Five Star rated hospital for quality safety and patient satisfaction. Details at hospitalcompare. herlife home Living in a happy space Do you love waking up to your current view You might want to take another look because a woman s overall happiness and well-being are directly linked to where she chooses to live her life according to a recent project of the Social Science Research Council called Measure of America. by me r r itt rethlake W 98 hat pulls women into a certain city over the other Safe healthy or high-earning cities are often cited in data but it is usually not just one of those attributes that determines the best cities for women. The study states that basic indicators such as health income and educa- city also plays into the education component encouraging a dynamic community of women to excel. Our nation s capital city also boasts a unique location welcoming all four seasons and making it easy to find a weekend getaway to other beautiful surrounding towns beaches and mountains and like-minded thriving cities are just a day trip away. San Jose California is no underdog when it comes to being a great city for women. While tion are important factors but these are often combined with a woman s age culture marital status ethnicity race and more in order to get the most accurate picture of which cities account for a woman s well-being. When we consider overall quality of life in the united States which cities stand out (and stand up ) for women Washington D.C. sees women who earn some of the most money and who have the highest level of education. Measure of America also states Education is a vital proponent of deciding what to do and who to be. It broadens possibilities and allows for acquisition of skills. The diversity of the HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM PORTLAND ROuTINELY MAKES an appearance on lists of the top cities for mass transit in the country. Its comprehensive transportation system is a great alternative solution if you do not own a vehicle or have not yet taken Portland up on its bicycling trend. the area receives notoriety for its booming tech business there s more to it. It is one of the highest-paying cities for females with a median income of 56 499. And healthy women are at their highest in this California city. A mind-boggling 84 percent of San Jose residents exercise only 8 percent of women smoke and their average life span is three years longer than the national average. While coastal cities continually top the quality-of-life lists for women the Midwest shines when it comes to opportunities for working women specifically. Second only to Chicago in largest economies in the Midwest the Minneapolis-St. Paul metro area has created environments that support women in the workforce and it offers the unique benefit of two cities in one. The Twin Cities education system rivals the best in the nation offering top-quality experiences for women pursuing college-level or higherlevel education or seeking schools for families and children. It leads the country in both civic engagement and volunteering two elements that do not go unnoticed when accounting for a woman s overall well-being and sense of connectedness to community. In addition it is considered one HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 99 of the most environmentally friendly cities in the world according to both Mercer and RelocateAmerica. Just take a stroll through Minneapolis or St. Paul and you ll admire an abundance of walking and bike paths trees and lakes and an effort to secure local business. Plus no sales tax on clothing Another city without sales tax Portland Oregon. Monocle a London-based global affairs and lifestyle magazine compiled a survey that showed Portland topped its neighbor Seattle because of its innovative and creative residents. In 2013 the median home price in Portland was 242 000 much lower than Seattle s median price of 400 000. Portland routinely makes an appearance on lists of the top cities for mass transit in the country. Its comprehensive transportation system is a great alternative solution if you do not own a vehicle or have not yet taken Portland up on its bicycling trend. And with 33 dog parks it was named the number one u.S. city for dogs. It s no secret that Denver has been seeing a population boom over the last three to five years. It seems that everywhere you look the popular Colorado city is leading the nation in something new. And the downtown area growing at five times the national rate is just the start of what makes the Mile High City a great place for women. What else exceeds the national average Denver s physically active residents. Nearly 80 percent of Denver dwellers report a tough workout in the preceding month which could be considered a no-brainer with the vast number of trails hikes and nature activities the terrain offers. The city s park system features 6 200 acres of park space 29 recreation centers and more than 300 athletic fields. Like D.C. Denver consists of highly educated women who feel comfortable in a city that offers an array of suitable housing options at low mortgage rates and rent prices. So if you re ready to change the view from your front window and possibly also your life these and other cities may be great choices for you hlM Sources measureofamerica. org and 100 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 101 herlife real estate Your commercial lease valuable tips It s exciting to move your business into a shiny new space but knowing how to negotiate for that space is surprisingly complicated. And if your entrepreneurial concept is going brick and mortar for the first time you have metaphorically speaking lots of ground to cover. by t i n a v. s avas is 50 000 and your industry typically allots 10 percent toward rent you may be in the ball park. Your broker will help you with rent calculations and what similar tenants are paying in the area. And when hiring a commercial real estate broker to help you be careful not to use a broker who also represents your potential landlord. Since the landlord pays the broker s commission there could be a conflict for you the smaller client. Next is your letter of intent to the landlord spelling out what space and what amount of rent you are willing to pay among other issues. The negotiations usually begin at this point and will include the following items. The term Commercial leases can run from 3 years to 25 years with options for renewal but this is completely negotiable. If you own a high-end spa you don t want to build out an expensive store and only have a three-year lease. Make this provision work in your favor. Use of space A clause allowing for all legal uses will be helpful if the scope of the business changes and expands. Start date If you re building out your store it s best to start paying rent when it s ready for you to move in. Percentage clause You may be familiar S ome commercial space leases run into hundreds of pages so it s easy to miss something important. Before you sign know your responsibilities as a tenant and be sure you re covered in case the roof needs to be replaced or the air conditioning unit goes out. A properly negotiated lease will protect you on many fronts. Keep in mind that commercial leases are calculated by the year so a 1 200-square-foot space may rent for 50 per square foot per year but that translates to a lease of 5 000 per month. As a business owner you probably already know how much rent you can afford based on your annual sales. If your monthly revenue 102 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM YOu WILL PAY A SHARE of the building s or shopping center s maintenance. The cost of keeping the common areas clean manicured landscaped secured lighted etc. is divided among the tenants according to how much space you rent. with rent guidelines wherein a grocery store usually pays 2 percent of its gross sales to its landlord a laundromat can pay 12 percent etc. Your broker can negotiate a percentage rent clause that may state that as you make more money your rent will increase. Kickoff clause In case your sales don t pan out this clause allows you to exit the lease after a certain amount of time. Tenancy agreement If you are looking at a site because a major retailer is next door to your shop this clause allows lower rent or other concessions if they move out. Tenant improvements Your broker should know what incentives landlords are giving in your desired area and if you don t need any improvements perhaps the landlord will give you several months of free rent instead. Exclusivity clause You certainly don t want a competing pizza parlor or salon in the same shopping center so be sure to include this provision. Personal guarantee unfortunately most landlords will require some type of personal guarantee from you in case your sales fall flat. At least try to limit your exposure to only a few years. CAM or common area fees You will pay a share of the building s or shopping center s maintenance. The cost of keeping the common areas clean manicured landscaped secured lighted etc. is divided among the tenants according to how much space you rent. You can try to negotiate up front for a fixed rate so your CAM won t increase if tenants leave a cap on increases for example no more than 3 percent per year or a flat refusal to pay any CAM since this is a very profitable way for a landlord to make money. Additional clauses to consider might be a sub-lease provision that permits you to lease your space to another business in the unhappy event that your business doesn t thrive in that location or default provisions regarding lock-out or eviction processes. While your business plan is positive and optimistic there should always be a Plan B if an economic downturn or other circumstances create the necessity to leave the premises. After you reach an agreement a formal lease will be drawn up. Some business owners use their personal attorney to review it and work with the landlord s attorney. Be sure your attorney whoever she is is familiar with real estate law and get their cost up front. Some charge more than 10 000 for a lease. Keep in mind that this document will be paramount to your business as long as you are in business so choose both your broker and your attorney well. And good luck with your dream hlM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 103 herlife pets English Bulldogs Extremely sweet-natured and devoted these dogs favorite activity is snoozing on the couch making them ideal apartment dogs despise their size (up to 50 pounds). They are lazy but daily walks are important and while you re on a stroll you ll meet a lot of people who stop to admire your bowlegged sourmug. Bulldogs are wonderful with children even newborns and toddlers. Seldom barkers they do make noise snarfling snorting and snoring their many fanatical owners say they love these silly noises. Like most pushed-face breeds bulldogs are sensitive to heat so air conditioning is a must. Chinese Crested Dogs The Chinese Crested comes in two varieties powder puff and hairless. The hairless are more popular being hairless except for silky puffs of hair on the head at the tip of the tail and around the feet. They weigh up to 12 pounds. These dogs are alert animated and devoted to their people but they need to be well socialized around strangers. They thrive in hot weather. Shih Tzus These lively and alert dogs love hanging out at home. They are outgoing and good with other pets children and visitors who will find them enchanting. Their long hair can be trimmed short for easy maintenance. They tend not to bark unless they are being protective. Although they re medium-energy dogs a little indoor playtime is all the exercise they need. These are great dogs for older people who might not be able to walk far. They can weigh up to 15 pounds. Pets love living the apartment life too Are you looking for the perfect dog for apartment or condo living Size really doesn t matter but when you re choosing a dog to share your small space look for non-barking breeds that don t need a lot of exercise and social breeds that will be friendly to strangers they might meet in the halls or on walks. by l i n da r. price W hile a breed might have a particular reputation all dogs are individuals. In other words results may vary. That said here are eight dog breeds that do well living the apartment life. Some might surprise you Cavalier King Charles Spaniels These elegant dogs combine beauty and intelligence with a sweet personality. Give them attention and they will reward you with a wagging tail and snuggles and they will follow you everywhere. While they might bark at a knock at the door they are generally quiet. Cavaliers come in several color combinations with a longish coat that s surprisingly easy to maintain. They seldom weigh more than 16 pounds a great size for small spaces. 104 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM PuGS WERE CREATED to be companions to royalty and their stubborn but sweet attitude reflects this. Owners have included Prince William of Orange and Josephine Bonaparte. Boston Terriers Known as the American Gentleman these quiet and polite dogs love to play and will do so with kids visitors and other dogs. They are intelligent and easy to train and to groom. Their energy level is moderate so they need daily walks and although they can have short bursts of energy their size 10 to 25 pounds makes them completely suited for apartment life. Havanese Greyhounds These dogs best known for their racing abilities are actually laid back preferring to chill with family. But you ll need to take your Greyhounds on several daily walks to keep them healthy a good excuse for owners to get outside for some fresh air. In cold weather Greyhounds need a warm dog coat. Despite their size these are tall dogs reaching about 28 inches they can curl up on most apartment-sized couches. Retired racing hounds come already trained. Adopt one and you ll have a great dog that needs a good home. Pugs Pugs were created to be companions to royalty and their stubborn but sweet attitude reflects this. Owners have included Prince William of Orange and Josephine Bonaparte. unlike many small dogs they are seldom yappy. They are clowns with expressive faces that keep their owners smiling. They get along with other dogs so expect to get invited to dog-friendly events with other pug owners. They weigh up to 18 pounds but love food and can easily become overweight. This national dog of Cuba is a gentle happy and outgoing dog that loves to hang out with people. Shower your Havanese with attention and you ll have it returned tenfold. Havanese have long coats and a plumed tails but a trimmed coat will give them an attractive puppy look and makes grooming easy. They are one of the better breeds for those with allergies to dogs. The Havanese is a good watchdog but otherwise isn t much of a barker. They weigh up to 15 pounds. Remember if you want a healthy dog with a stable disposition find a reputable breeder who breeds for good health and offers a health and temperament guarantee. Your veterinarian can most likely give you a reference. Or you can adopt an older dog from a breed-specific rescue organization or a rescue group with a good reputation. And remember dogs are family and all dogs are forever dogs. hlM Sources and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 105 herlife travel The gem of natural selection and evolution Blue-footed boobies iguanas giant tortoises and parrot fish populate this paradise. No it s not a Disney movie. The Gal pagos Islands a chain of 127 islands 600 miles west of the coast of Ecuador is home to one of the world s richest land and marine ecosystems. by ma r i lyn isaminger T he average American s first exposure to the wonders of the Gal pagos likely occurred in middle or high school during discussion of Charles Darwin s theory of evolution by natural selection. Darwin was 26 when he spent five weeks aboard the HMS Beagle in 1835 going ashore to col- This unique and fragile environment is beginning to feel the stress of tourism and the uninhabited islands are strictly controlled with carefully planned tourist itineraries that limit visitation. However more than 170 000 people take advantage of the natural beauty and wonder of the Gal pagos Islands every year. Since they re sited near the equator any time of year is good to visit. The busiest months are June July and August with a second season from mid-December to mid-January and prices generally reflect the season s popularity. From December through May is the rainy season with temperatures in the 80s June through November is cooler thanks to the Humboldt current with temps dropping to the 70s. Travel to the islands originates in mainland lect specimens of plants rocks birds and insects. Almost two centuries later these isolated islands are a fascinating living laboratory for the study of geology ecology and species evolution. The archipelago is continuously being formed and reformed as it sits atop one of Earth s tectonic plates the Nazca which crawls over this geologic hot spot. Fernandina the youngest island is less than a million years old and the oldest Espanola was formed about four million years ago. In 1959 the government of Ecuador declared the islands a national park and in 1998 the Gal pagos Marine Reserve created in 1986 was extended to its current area of 51 000 square miles. It s also a double unesco World Heritage site as both land and sea are protected. The Marine Reserve situated at the confluence of three major eastern Pacific currents is influenced by climatic events such as El Ni o and demonstrates the dependence on the sea of the islands wildlife. The Gal pagos marine iguana found only on these islands is the only iguana to have adapted thanks to population and habitat pressure to feed on underwater algae and seaweed. Even the creatures of the air have adapted. Thirteen species of Darwin s finches whose specialized beaks have each adapted to feeding on a specific feed or insect are evidence of natural selection. 106 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM YOu WILL FIND LARGE colonies of marine iguanas and sea lions on Fernandina the youngest and westernmost island and the one with the most recent volcanic activity in April 2009. Visitors are escorted only to the outskirts of the crater for safety reasons. Ecuador several major American airlines fly into Quito the capital city or Guyaquil. united States citizens do not need a visa to visit Ecuador. From there you can fly into Baltra Island and take a bus and ferry ride to Puerto Ayora on Santa Cruz Island the most popular tourist hub. Visitors to most of the islands must be accompanied by a guide licensed by the Gal pagos National Park which requires a 100 entrance fee good for your entire stay. The fee must be paid in cash but the u.S. dollar is Ecuador s currency. From Puerto Ayora you can book day trips to some of the islands but the recommended mode of visit and travel is to take a cruise aboard a yacht. Luxury accommodations including private balconies large suites and al fresco dining can make a 4- to 15-day cruise around the islands a complete wildlife immersion experience that can be catered to the needs of singles couples or families. Small yachts vary between 16 to 32 passengers the larger ships are no larger than 100 passengers the maximum number allowed by the park service. It s best to book early as these boats fill up quickly. Most tours stop at Santa Cruz and Cristobal Islands where you can see the giant tortoises in the breeding centers at the Charles Darwin Research Center in Santa Cruz or the Galapagos Interpretation Center in San Cristobal. Gal pagos penguins and giant tortoises congregate around Tagus Cove on Isabela where you may also visit The Wall of Tears a stone wall remnant from the old penal colony built by prisoners with no purpose other than to serve as punishment. You ll find large colonies of marine iguanas and sea lions on Fernandina the youngest and westernmost island and the one with the most recent volcanic activity in April 2009. Visitors are escorted only to the outskirts of the crater for safety reasons. In addition to wildlife watching snorkeling diving kayaking and hiking are sports that visitors enjoy. Voluntarism is alive also with opportunities than include habitat restoration on Cristobal Island through Fundaci n Bolivar Education where the goal is to eliminate invasive plants and then replant native and endemic species that have been greenhouse grown on site. With so much to see and experience the Gal pagos Islands are easily a bucket-list travel destination. Pack your warm weather gear and go hlM Sources galapagosislands. com and HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 107 herlife Just saYin photography by phillip flores photography Just sayin mix 93.3 personality Jenny matthews I remember the very first time I met Brooke. My exact thought was This girl looks like Barbie Her hair She had Barbie s color It was in a high ponytail that flipped out perfectly at the bottom. I thought she was incredibly beautiful stylish and well Barbie-ish. She was also...nice. Like really nice. A genuine deep down sweetheart. I wanted to be her friend right away but I m just me and I definitely did not feel cool enough to be in her world I was so happy when I felt a friendship form. Our first meeting was at her adorable boutique. I fell in love with the clothes immediately and realized quickly that Brooke had style. An eye. And honesty I would try stuff on and she wasn t just about making a sale she would tell me No way That doesn t flatter you try this instead. It was refreshing and needless to say I loved shopping at Bella B s The more I shopped (and well it was prekids and I m 99 percent sure I have a shopping problem so it was quite often) the more our friendship grew. The more she learned about me the more I learned about her we had so many things in common. And I m not talkin just favorite concealer and favorite salsa. I m talkin about incredibly similar childhoods the same fears the same weird habits the same nerdiness (is that a word ) We are convinced we were separated at birth. So sure we just might investigate. As time went on our lives changed in so many ways. Brooke was one of my biggest supporters and cheerleaders during my three-year infertility battle. She would not let me give up even on my darkest days. I finally had success and welcomed my two miracles into the world. Soon after Brooke found the love of her life and welcomed two of her own. We have walked the crazy road of motherhood side by side Web MD ing each other s illnesses. Giving each other reassurance that we weren t bad moms even on the days we felt like total failures. We tell each other the truth. We don t sugarcoat when one of us is facing a crisis or needs help making a tough decision. We are best friends. For years we talked about going into business together. We didn t know what. We didn t know when. became our what. Now is our when. I want you to know how real Brooke is. And if you ve followed me at all over the years I pride myself on keepin it real too. We. Are. All. Just. Trying. To. Make. It. Every. Day. No one is better than anyone else. And I especially believe that women need to build each other up not tear each other down. Who are we to judge What works for one may not work for another in life. The best thing we can do is to support and encourage. That is my hope with our new website I hope this is a place you feel you can come and not be judged. I hope you read the blogs and find encouragement and or inspiration. I hope you find a new place to have a date night based on something we post in Experience. Maybe a funny story under Kiddos that makes you laugh and feel a little less alone in Mom World. Or a little pick-me-up by purchasing yourself something fun from our sheSHOP . Our dream and vision has turned into reality. We created this space for the women in Kansas City the city that we both love so so much. We hope you ll check it out. Please come back often and share with your girlfriends. We re all in this together friend. hlM Jenny matthews is the host of mix 93.3 s Jenny matthews show 10am - 3pm monday - friday. she is also the co-founder of she lives in the northland with her husband matthew and their two kiddos Julianne and miles. connect with Jenny at jmatthews 108 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 109 herlife tie the Knot TIED THE KNOT MAY 7 2016 wr it t en by mar ily n is am i n ge r p h o to gra p hy by f re e l a n d p h o to gra p hy 110 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM Laura and Mike Michalski L aura (Megee) Michalski 26 is a graduate of Kansas State university where she was a member of the Kansas State university Classy Cats Dance Team. She received a master s degree in medical biosciences from Kansas City university of Medicine and Biosciences and began working in the medical aesthetic industry. She is now in the accelerated BSN program at MidAmerica Nazarene university so she can become more involved in the field. Laura enjoys spending time at the lake with family and friends and interior decorating. Mike Michalski 26 is also a Kansas State university alum he graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering and works in management for Frito-Lay in Topeka Kansas. In his spare time he enjoys working out and spending time with friends and family. Mike and I met in high school Laura shares. He asked me to our junior prom and tried to take me out for a date prior to the dance. He thought I was ignoring him but the whole time he had the wrong number. Finally he realized his mistake and he took me out for our first date ice cream Laura will always remember Mike s proposal on November 17 2015 at Shawnee Mission Park where they have spent so much time. We were to meet friends for dinner and since the weather was beautiful he suggested we drive through the park on the way. At the marina we stopped and sat on a bench next to the lake Laura reminisces. Suddenly Mike pulled a small book from underneath his shirt. As he read it to me I realized it was identical HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 111 to one I had given him as an anniversary gift The Things I Love about You. One page is a job application and he had completed it as Mike s Wife with all the reasons I would be the perfect fit for the job. I realized he was on knee proposing We headed to my parents home with the news and were greeted by 50 friends and family. I was also disappointed that we didn t get photos of the proposal until my friend and her fianc arrived late they had secretly been there keeping people away from the bench and taking photos The blissful couple tied the knot on May 7 2016 at St. Peter s Catholic Church. Laura s sister Christine Lilly served as Matron of Honor bridesmaids were Ashley Burdolski Melissa Cillessen Morgan Mathews Kelsey Nicholson Cayla Sherbert and Merritt Sizemore. Best Men were the groom s brothers Matt Michalski and Nick Michalski groomsmen were Dan Fletcher Scott Hoffman Jason Jenks Jack Liggett Jared Pessetto Dylon Sease and Steve Stanislav. What Mike and I wanted for our wedding day was a day full of friends and family and a really fun party to celebrate shares Laura. My sister and her husband were married in the same church so that was significant to us. The most important and fun part of our reception was the dancing. We danced until our feet ached too badly to continue and even all of the Kansas State Classy Cat alumni performed the Wabash Cannonball. We even closed the night with the K-State fight song Laura and Mike honeymooned at Secrets Maroma Beach in Riviera Maya Mexico where they enjoyed the gorgeous beach delicious food and excellent service. hlM 112 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM BuSINESSES THAT SHARED IN THE LOVE bridal gown The Gown Gallery bridesmaids gowns The Gown Gallery hair styling A Shear Thing Salon makeup Alexandra Morris wedding skin prep MedCosmetic Mirabile MD Beauty Health & Wellness photography Freeland Photography florist Mary Harris dj Ray Tuimauga Icon Event Group caterer The Gallery Event Space cake Next Level Cakery LeAnn Rogers reception venue Kill Devil and The Gallery Event Space jeweler Vinca Jewelry bridal jewelry Lindsay Marie Design HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 113 herlife helping hands Homestead on the Hill AND Partner to End Human Trafficking wri t t e n by cr ys tal burchfi eld Hope for justice omestead on the Hill champions their YL team and community to raise awareness and funds for Hope for Justice an organization that seeks to end human trafficking and slavery through their work here H in the u.S. and all over the world. This past year my husband Verick Burchfield and I residents of Kansas City and owners of Homestead on the Hill LLC had a vision to raise 100 000 for Hope for Justice we knew we couldn t do it alone. Hundreds of local and long-distance friends joined with Young Living leaders to participate in our efforts to increase funding and awareness. Through events an online auction a backyard Home Experience with Grammy -nominated artist Brandon Heath and a KC marathon run by Verick we raised more than 74 000 for Hope for Justice. Just when it looked like we would fall short of the goal our work helping facilitate a partnership with Hope for Justice and the generous Young Living Foundation created by founder D. Gary Young came to fruition. Young Living is a purpose-driven company that sets an example for all by using its abundance to change the world. The members raised more than 1 million for the YL Foundation in just four days during the most recent convention. One hundred percent of the donations will go to causes all over the world including Hope for Justice. This partnership helped us feel confident that we would more than surpass our goal proving that working hard to achieve ambitious goals pays off. Our work is far from over and we will prayerfully work to continue to raise awareness and funds so that we can help the nearly 21 million men women and children trapped in this inhumane way of life all over the world. We traveled to Cambodia in January to experience first hand the wonderful work that Hope for Justice is doing with their Lighthouse Assessment Center Dream Home Shine School and other programs. It was heart wrenching. unfortunately you don t have to travel across the world to find this atrocity lurking. One of Hope for Justice s largest stateside projects is to establish a National Investigation Hub in Nashville Tennessee the home of the u.S. office. Here in K.C. we would like to increase education and awareness of what human trafficking is what signs to look for how you can help and how you can protect your family in the world we live in. This education needs to go out to schools churches emergency rooms clinics and urgent care centers first. hlM To learn more about how you can help please visit homesteadonthehill. org and contact Verick and Crystal through their blog or at homesteadonthehill1 To learn more about the work of Hope for Justice please visit 114 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 115 herlife great finds 116 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 117 herlife calendar September 8 Fashion Forward for Flu Awareness DATE September 8 TIME 6 00 - 9 00pm LOCATION Museum at Prairie Fire DETAILS The Fashion Forward for Flu Awareness event sponsored by Kendra s Legacy Foundation will feature a runway style show by Evereve silent and live auctions a flu survivor speaker Madi Allen all while guests enjoy complimentary appetizers and beverages. The cost per ticket is 50 and tickets can be purchased at 17 Clean Comedy for the Whole Family DATE September 17 TIME 6 00pm LOCATION Fellowship of Grace Church Parkville Missouri DETAILS Dessert Comedy Theatre comes to Parkville You ll enjoy a fun evening of clean family-friendly comedy and music while indulging in an array of scrumptious desserts. Nationally known comedian Scott Davis will serve up his special brand of humor which is sure to leave you laughing. Davis has performed on television and on stage with Mark Lowry Dennis Swanberg and Mark Hall of Casting Crowns. Order tickets at 800-965-9324 or 10 Middle Creek Winery Public Night Astronomy & Wine Tasting DATE September 10 TIME 8 00pm LOCATION Middle Creek Winery Louisburg Kansas DETAILS Enjoy an evening of wine tasting and a tour of the night sky with one of the largest private telescopes in Kansas and Missouri. Visit or call 913-377-4689 for details. 17 11th Annual Paws in the Park Dog Walk DATE September 17 TIME 9 00am - Noon LOCATION English Landing Park Parkville Missouri DETAILS Friends of Parkville Animal Shelter presents the 11th annual Paws in the Park Dog Walk Festival where Kansas City Live co-host Joel Nichols joins acts as celebrity emcee. This event is fun for the whole family and features the dog walk vendors raffles KC Disc Dogs and more Visit pawsinpark for information or call 816-587-0918 x0 leave a message and a volunteer will return your call. 10 & 11 Handmade & Vintage Chick Event DATE September 10 and 11 TIME Saturday 10 00am - 8 00pm Sunday 11 00am - 5 00pm LOCATION Park Place Leawood DETAILS This year s Chick Event showcases over 125 local and regional makers and vintage shops. The festival includes shopping food and drinks and live music. You will find everything from handcrafted jewelry leather goods pottery art clothing KC tees furniture candles home d cor and more. Admission is 5 at the door. Visit for the details. 19 The Mission Project Golf Classic 2016 DATE September 19 TIME 10 00am LOCATION Prairie Highlands Golf Course 14695 S. Inverness Street Olathe DETAILS This annual fundraiser for The Mission Project helps support health programs. Based in Mission Kansas The Mission Project enables capable adults with developmental or cognitive disabilities to live independently and safely in community with individualized support. Register online at For more information visit email info or call 913-777-6722. 16 Adorn Sneak Peek presented by Zona Rosa DATE September 16 TIME 5 30 - 8 30pm LOCATION Grand Ballroom at Bartle Hall 1202 Wyandotte Street DETAILS The Harvest Ball Society presents the Adorn Style Show. Guests will discover the latest fashion trends presented by professional runway models. Enjoy a light lunch while watching the show or strolling through a unique marketplace of exclusive boutiques and local merchants. Proceeds from the day support the mission of Harvest Ball Society. Visit to learn more. SAVE THE DATE 2 Kansas City Free to Breathe Lung Cancer 5K Run Walk DATE October 2 TIME 8 00am LOCATION Theis Park DETAILS You can help double lung cancer survival By participating and choosing to fundraise you re helping raise awareness and fund vital research programs dedicated to doubling lung cancer survival by 2022. Visit for more information and to register. All calendar event submissions must be received by October 5 for the November issue and adhere to our guidelines. E-mail admin for guidelines or to submit entries. 118 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 119 herlife horoscope sagittarius NOV. 22-DEC. 21 Even though you are a very social person this can be a good time to get away from things. Isolate yourself a little bit so you can really look into what s going on inside you and think things through on your own. Some new avenues of exploration are opening up to you and you may have to look into them on your own rather than expecting that others will be as interested as you are. Your soul will be fed by what you find. capricorn DEC. 22-JAN. 19 This is a good time for carrying on investigations possibly secretly. Look into whatever fascinates and mystifies you for your curiosity is up and running. Any discontent you feel is trying to urge you on toward greater fulfillment. You should own this embrace it and allow it to guide you. This is also a month of rejecting and being able to say No that s not what I want. This can lead you to what you do want. aquarius JAN. 20-FEB. 18 Everything will work better in your life if you just change the attitude with which you do it. Find that inner spark of enthusiasm and let it warm your whole life. If something is not fun or interesting why do it This is a great time to make yourself more comfortable whatever that implies for you so that your whole mood and tone is shinier and you can engage life with more clarity. Star journeys Now s the time to take care of old business to address those projects and issues that have been sitting on the back burner. The key to success this month is thoroughness. Whatever you work on needs to be dealt with in a thorough manner so that you don t have to come back to it later. There s something we re all trying to get to now and we may have to dig deep for it but the effort is well worth it. HLM by j o h n s andbach pisces FEB. 19-MAR. 20 If you feel like you re hitting the same notes all the time and pounding out the same old tunes maybe it s time to try some new keys and experiment with new melodies. Whatever you re cooking up remember that joy is a seasoning that goes well with all dishes. You may think you understand things but understanding is a very strange object that always looks different when viewed from a new angle. Try it aries MAR. 21-APR. 19 If you feel that certain things in your life are winding down or losing energy don t view this as unfortunate for other things want to get under way and need your attention. You may feel like you don t quite know what you re doing but don t allow timidity to stop you. Keep going even if you re not quite sure of the direction. It will become clear soon. taurus APR. 20-MAY 20 You know there s more going on than meets the eye and it s your challenge this month to delve into those greater potentials that have been waiting for a long time. Beware of getting caught up in details. If you let those minute snags that life always presents us with slow you down you re going to miss what s happening right now in the moment. It s an exciting and rich month for you. virgo AuG. 23-SEPT. 22 Things are in pieces now and what you have to do is look at those pieces carefully and see how they might fit together. Beware of advice try things out for yourself and see what works for you. This is a great time for collecting your own information and teaching yourself. Don t let your biases get in the way. The more open-minded you are now the more true value you will find. gemini MAY 21-JuNE 20 You need to make some big decisions now and even if you try to avoid them they will be waiting for you later. Should you stick with what you know and what has been or should you engage in some life renovations That is the big question. Renovations are not always good they can be costly and time-consuming. Maybe you need to just accept what is so that you have the energy to engage in other projects. libra SEPT. 23-OCT. 22 It may be hard to figure out what s going on now. Things seem a little vague and unformed. You may feel as if something is hiding from you. If this is the case you need to be patient and look more closely. Don t take for granted that people hear what you have to say. You may have to speak louder be more emphatic or clarify your message. cancer JuNE 21-JuLY 23 When you feel two ways about things it can result in a stalemate. You may have to do some arbitrary choosing this month so you can move forward. Just letting things be the way they are without trying to change them can actually lead you to success. Trying to solve problems before they re ready to be solved won t work. Do your best and let inspiration be your guide. scorpio OCT. 23-NOV. 21 You have a lot to think about now and you could become overwhelmed with all the incoming information. This can be a time for you of seeing things in a new way which can help you immensely in making decisions and solving problems. You can also feel very vulnerable now so be careful with whom you share your most intimate ideas. Pick someone you know will hear you and be accepting. leo JuLY 24-AuG. 22 Lots can come out this month things you didn t expect. Hidden problems finally arise be glad they did for now that they re out in the open you may be able to solve them once and for all. You just can t go on in the usual way. You need to find a different way of proceeding. See this as a journey of exploration. You may be surprised at what you learn. 120 HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM HERLIFEMAGAZINE.COM 121